Is it normal to be emotionally scarred from this?

When I was 11 years, I passed out on my parents bed. When I opened my eyes as I woke up, I saw my dad jerking off. I was so disgusted and scared when I saw this so I pretended to be asleep. After he was done he touched me with his dirty unwashed hand and kissed me. I was so disgusted partly b/c he was jerking off and the other part was that I didn't feel that an emotionally abusive man didn't deserve to feel pleasure. I hate him and cannot look at him the same ever again. I'm also forced to turn the air conditioner during the winter to block out the sound of his underwear slapping against his stomach when jerking off.