Is it normal to believe that my mind is being read by someone in the room?

One day at work, i was talking with a girl in front of me and said in my head "wow you're an idiot" while smiling at something stupid she said, but a girl next to me said "oh, he thinks your an idiot"
I was shocked! another day she was sitting close to me and i was staring at her and saying " i know you can read my mind, stop acting like you didnt hear this as well" and she got nervous!
i've had multiple occasions about having this type of fear and taking it seriously to the point i'm afraid to think something bad about someone in the same room!

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Based on 27 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 21 )
  • Boojum

    I'm a scientific rationalist, but things have happened to me that made me wonder just how much we don't yet know (and possibly can never know for sure). Still, I'm convinced that telepathy simply doesn't exist. There have been numerous attempts to identify it under controlled experiments, and all have failed. The only evidence it does exist is anecdotal, and there are always alternative, rational explanations.

    As for the first incident, that's easily explained away. Maybe the second woman is very good at reading people (lots of women have this super-power). Alternatively, _she_ thought the first woman had said something idiotic, and she either subconsciously projected that feeling on to you, or she said you thought Woman 1 was an idiot because she didn't want to say that.

    As for the second incident, if you were staring at her and you were in the field of her peripheral vision, it's not surprising she got nervous. If you were sitting behind her, she might be one of those people who seems to have the ability to sense when someone is looking at the back of their head. Or maybe her nervousness was due to something else entirely, and you just assumed it was due to your thoughts because of confirmation bias.

    You can safely think whatever you want about anyone and nobody is going to read your mind, but you might want to think about whether you constantly "leak" emotions through your body language and expressions.

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    • I've looked at studies done that prove telepathy to me, but it's not the conventional sci fi telepathy.

      I forget the name of it or anything like that, but a monkey's brain was scanned as it moved its arm which triggered and recorded the activation (I want to say 10,000) of neurons.

      Next, the monkey witnessed a human sitting in front of it move his own arm in the same way which triggered some of the same neurons.

      This means that just by watching someone do something, we can have neurons, which are pathways that in short lead your memories/instincts/actions to your conscious thinking, activate in response. Now you kind of acknowledge this when you say that the OP could have been wearing himself on his sleeve in that the second girl could have recognized that he was hiding how he really felt about the first girl. According to that study, the second girl could have seen his facial and body expressions and recognized what was going through his mind by experiencing an empathic telepathy.

      I myself have tinkered with it, and after other studies, which honestly are more spiritual than how emotionless and scientific this probably sounds, I can do this to a certain extent and read people. I mean it's pretty easy if you know the steps, the more awake or aware you are makes a difference. To convey the thought processes, I would describe it as analyzing/feeling the motives and intentions of people's behavior. I understand I'm not always going to be right (I don't believe in assuming too much or acting on assumptions), but it's been extremely helpful in my day to day experiences. It's a lot like being guided by instinct in social interactions, which for me has been helpful in learning about myself, observing how I instinctively react (which is great for introspection).

      Like in the post above, girl 1 says something, OP thinks she said something stupid and it probably showed on his face (eyes squinting, head cocking, mouth poised to talk, eyes rolling, short heavy sigh through nose, change in posture and more all good examples), and girl 2 recognized this behavior and cover up because it's in her surrounding awareness and maybe she wanted to have a laugh with girl 1 about it, who probably would have recognized it as well, or maybe she was trying to point it out to the OP that he's not as slick as he thinks he might be and his behavior affects people (sometimes these people can be called spiritual teachers)

      This kind of thing can really allow people to have true empathy with others if developed in the right way. You mentioned it's easier for girls and I agree, my own personal explanation for that are hormones. As for peripheral vision, well, anybody can open their eyes wider and expand it. Girls have more experience with this because of makeup and it's cuter with some styles to have wide eyes (makes eye color pop and can enhance eye makeup) which all of that is about presenting their image to the world which is a trait women use to sustain their societal roles and finding a partner which is a primal extinct.

      Men have societal roles influenced by their hormones, I mean testosterone allows them to gain muscles efficiently and aggressively (therefore proactively) hunt/fight whatever. Looking at it in a primal sense, fundamentally men provide and women nurture which to me the hormones play an integral role.

      I'm really going off tangent, but I do just want to clarify I'd like a discussion. I want to pick your brain a little because you seem to have interesting perspectives.

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      • Boojum

        Have you ever watched the TV series Lie to Me? It's obviously a drama, so things are hyped up and some of the situations are implausible, but there is real science behind the fundamental premise: that people display "micro-expressions" which flit across our faces in a fraction of a second and betray what we're really feeling. Most people can't control these, and they seem to be universal. For example, the facial expression for disgust is the same whether the disgusted person is a New York socialite, or someone from a tribe living deep in the Amazonian rainforest.

        Most of us find it impossible to control these fleeting expressions, and most of us find it difficult to read them. But you can train yourself to spot them, and some people have an instinctive ability to see them. This isn't necessarily conscious. They can't say that they just spotted a flash of disgust, fear, or happiness, they just _know_ that the person is feeling those things, even though what they're saying may be completely different. In one episode of the series, it's suggested that "naturals" who have this ability have often grown up with an abusive parent, so learning how to rapidly read how the wind was blowing when they were a child was a survival strategy.

        Article about the psychologist who discovered micro-expressions and his input to the series here: https://www.popularmechanics.com/culture/tv/a3960/4300722/

        As for why women tend to be better at empathy than men, there's an ongoing debate about why this is, with people arguing for hormones, differences on the X and Y chromosomes, evolution, or socialisation. I suspect it's a combination of all four. I have difficulty accepting that it's biologically determined, not least since that implies that the best my daughter can aspire to in her life is to find a nice guy, get married, and produce babies.

        https://www.simplypsychology.org/gender-biology.html

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        • JOY_DOPAMINE

          Thank you @Boojum and @HiddenLeafShinobi for explaining the situation psychologically!
          i find it interesting that some people can read your emotions through your facial expressions (even if they are very minor) and through your body movement, because i really do wear my emotions on my face and i can't help not to ^^

          @HiddenLeafShinobi| You described something much similar to to the yawning effect, actions that happen around you that you subconsciously react to, i get this a lot at work when someone grabs their water bottle or when i do and watch someone do it as a reaction to me doing it! Interesting!

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    • JOY_DOPAMINE

      Yes, thank you for this detailed and logical explanation of what happened, i agreed on everything that you said!
      She was sitting in my side and maybe she got aware i was staring at her, i get that too when someone stares at me all of a sudden.
      You seem to have a very good sense of analyzing human behaviour :clapemoji:

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      • Boojum

        I don't know if you're male or female, but I remember reading in a book on body language that women tend to have a much wider field of peripheral vision than men. I have no idea if that's true, but the author claimed that's why women know when guys are checking them out, staring at their tits, and so on, even when the guys think they're being sneaky and doing it when the woman can't possibly see where they're looking.

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        • In this example, where the girls shouldn't see it, I think can be explained more by seeing the rough outline of a male or feeling someone stare at you. I mean, as a girl you constantly see guys glance glance down at your chest and most act like it didn't happen (which is cool, I understand sometimes you can't resist I mean I get urges to look) so if they're presented a situation where they believe a guy is facing her away from her direction, we're likely to assume he's checking her out. And I mean in a primal sense, men desire and women are desired, so...

          Example, the other day I was walking behind a girl on the way to clock in. I was probably seven ish feet behind her. But she heard my footsteps and she kept doing these side glances to see behind her. I knew she was looking for a reaction, the reaction shows that she's being checked out (which was why she most likely held the side glance for at least three seconds at a time and did so with only a few steps in between looking forward [to up the ante])

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          • McBean

            Women tend to get very agitated when you stand right at the edge of their peripheral vision (180°) and then move back as they turn their head to glance at you. Men don't even pay attention to things on the edge.

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        • JOY_DOPAMINE

          Hmm i don't think it has to do with gender more than the shape of your eye and it's genetics, i'm a guy and i have a pretty wider vision because my mother also has it, i've noticed this since i was young.

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  • BlackCandle

    I've had that a couple of times. Long ago though. I'd be staring at people to see if they'd react to what I was thinking.

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  • HalfInsaneFemale

    I just finished my college psychology course. That is a definite symptom of Paranoid schizophrenia or some other variation; I strongly advise you to see a psychiatrist.

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  • CozmoWank

    Next time you're near her, just keep thinking "does she shave it?, or does she have a big bush?...Does she shave it?, or does she have a big bush?, etc...

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    • JOY_DOPAMINE

      Hahahaha! made my day!

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      • CozmoWank

        Merry Christmas!

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  • RoseIsabella

    I doubt that this chick can read your mind. It's more likely that you talk to yourself without realizing it, and then she hears you.

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    • McBean

      That sounds like cognitive bias in action.

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      • RoseIsabella

        Me, or OP? It's just a supposition. There are a lot of people who are paranoid, and delusional who do actually talk to themselves. Additionally, people who get in the habit of talking to themselves also get to where, just like any other habit, they don't realize that they are doing it.

        Of course I don't know whether, or not OP actually does, or doesn't talk to himself, but I have a hard time believing that this girl he's talking about can actually read his mind, unless of course the government has implanted a microchip in his brain... just kidding. Hahaha! In the end it's macht nichts to me.

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        • JOY_DOPAMINE

          Yes i do talk to myself in my mind and i think that
          everyone does that, but i'm so sure i don't vocalize my thoughts

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          • RoseIsabella

            Oh, I think it's normal to hear your thoughts. I just find it highly unlikely that someone could read your mind.

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  • SeekNPlay

    Because your facial xpressions are a dead give away

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  • Issacelerx

    wow, that's actually amazing. But I bet it's scary for you at the same time?

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