Is it normal to "change" my sexuality?

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22 Comments

I have been bisexual since about the start of high school. I always knew I liked boys, and then I discovered I liked girls too. I primarily dated boys for most of my teenage years- it was hard to find another LGBT+ girl in a rural school.
When I moved out of town, I started pursuing women. I found a lot of stigma amongst LGBT women, especially lesbian women, around me being "tainted" or a "cheater" just because of my sexuality.
I got lucky enough one day to find a wonderful woman who doesn't judge me for a second about anything. We've been together for over a year and I have no plans of leaving this amazing soul companion I was blessed with, but I've thought hypothetically about what my prospects would be like if things ever turned sour.
The stigma in the LGBT community around bisexuals is apparent, and although I had more experience with men, and they tend to be more available and abundant as a woman, I couldn't find myself going after them anymore. I just couldn't see myself being satisfied, physically or romantically. With this combined, I just don't feel like the label of "bisexual" suits me anymore. I consider myself a lesbian woman, though I may experience some objective appreciation for men (still don't wanna fuck then anymore). Is this normal?

TL;DR: used to be bi but social stigma and finding a female partner made me gay is that weird

Voting Results
60% Normal
Based on 10 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 22 )
  • PleaseTalkToMe
    3 years ago

    I was born straight then fell in love with my female best friend so then I wanted to be with a women. I turned gay and only feel emotional connection to women but a part of me thinks IF I found the riight guy then maybe...but I am sexually attracted to a minority of men but not emotionally so ig I'm bi sexual but more lesbian than ever if that makes sense lmao

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  • Wryladradofft
    3 years ago

    Sexuality in general is very hard to pin down. I don't personally believe that anyone ever has to remain rigid in a label, I think it's more complex and dynamic than that. Some people might say that you were just never that attracted to men to begin with, but I don't think it's out of the ordinary for someone's sexuality to change over time or under certain circumstances.

    Either way, congrats on finding a good romantic partner

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  • Tommythecaty
    3 years ago

    You could just be kind of a liar, there are heaps of people out there that do about this shit purely for an identity, attention or to seem more interesting

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    • asdfgh0987
      3 years ago

      OP: *is open & honest to try to get a genuine answer*
      "MAYBE UR JUST LYING HAHAHAHAHA"

      Really, guy? Why would that even occur to you?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      .... What?

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      • Tommythecaty
        3 years ago

        I don’t see anything confusing about the statement.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          3 years ago

          I haven't met a single person that would "pretend" to be LGBT+ for attention. I don't know why you would accuse me of lying when I've already said I'm with a woman and no longer interested in dating men. Your view of sexuality and marginalized people is disgusting.

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  • Ditnyte
    3 years ago

    Lol don’t let societal pressure prevent you from labeling yourself as bi, if you are attracted to men and women you are. Glad you found someone tho

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  • [Old Memory]
    3 years ago

    I think you're getting more caught up in the label than actually understanding yourself

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      How so? I've said that I just wanted to understand myself better. I'm no longer interested in dating men or pursuing them no matter if I have any residual attraction. It just doesn't feel right to consider myself bisexual if I find myself averse to men. I just wanted to know if anyone else's sexuality has changed throughout their life and nobody has been very helpful.

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      • [Old Memory]
        3 years ago

        It just seemed like, from the way you wrote it, you were defining sexuality based on the approval of those around you

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  • einexile
    3 years ago

    You aren't gay, you're just mothballing an aspect of your sexual response as a survival strategy. Don't think for a moment that because you are a human being living in the modern world, your body and your brain stem ever fully stop thinking about and planning for your survival.

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  • badmanalive
    3 years ago

    Too long to read, Jesus Christ.
    Just fuck who you want and quit thinking about it.

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    • PleaseTalkToMe
      3 years ago

      Hahahah

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  • [Old Memory]
    3 years ago

    Why is it that bisexual people seem to be the least targeted but always the loudest about "social stigmas"?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      Because we're met with apathy or bigotry when it comes to our orientation. Lesbians don't want to date us because we're "impure", men fetishize us as swingers. We're seen as cheaters, "dirty", confused, selfish. It's more than "it's a sin" for us.

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      • Ellenna
        3 years ago

        I don't mix with people who make judgments about other people's sexuality: find yourself some other bisexual women to play with and stay away from the bigots.

        In answer to your header question, it's totally normal for sexuality to change over some people's lifetimes: I was het until my early 20's, then bi, then lesbian for decades until I unexpectedly found myself attracted to a bloke, whereupon the vast majority of my lesbian feminist "sisters" totally wiped me.

        I'm sexually involved with a bloke right now, but still bi, just haven't come across any women I want to be involved with.

        Enoy whatever/whoever you enjoy as long as you're not harming yourself or anyone else and stay away from narrow minded ignorant bigots.

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      • Cuntsiclestick
        3 years ago

        Damn. That's pretty accurate about how people see bisexuality. I remember when I tried dating for the first time. Guys automatically assumed I was down for anything and women automatically assumed I'd cheat. I was a virgin who just wanted one partner for life, so hearing them say that shit was very hurtful.

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  • Mammal-lover
    3 years ago

    I mean guys are smelly but they also have penises wich are just fantastic. I could never quit them entirely

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      Not the question but thanks for providing your AMAZING insight.

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    • LloydAsher
      3 years ago

      You just havent found one with the comparable bo that you like.

      Bo is just a teller for what kind of immune system you have, if it smells good for you it means you have a completely different immune system telling you that your kids would have a beneficial immunity

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      • Mammal-lover
        3 years ago

        I'm aware haha, its also a sign of biological compatability or so they say. But na ive met guys who i pair with. Hell my guy smells like heaven all the freaking time. I can't stop inhaling his scent

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