Is it normal to dislike my boyfriends son?

88% Normal
7 Comments

I am a single mom with kids ages 13,5,and 3 year old twins. My boyfriend has a 6 year old son. I literally cannot stand him he is mean doesn’t share is always whining and tattling it drives me completely insane. I feel kind of bad because my boyfriend is so good to my kids. I just cannot get past the way his son acts he is very large for his age and is always hurting my little ones. It’s not okay. I get furious I don’t know if I can get past it and it is definitely putting a strain on our relationship. I love my boyfriend but his son I can’t live with and he is fighting for full custody! His mom barely calls or wants to see him because she is off living the single no responsibility life right now. I try to instill things in my children like sharing and not hitting and being kind and courteous. But I feel like what’s the point if they see this kid behaving badly and I punish my kids if they don’t share. When he doesn’t share and I tell him to he still doesn’t. He will say my dad says this is mine. Or my mom bought me this. I’m very glad to see I’m not the only one feeling this way. I love children and I do not know why I just don’t have any patience with his son.

Voting Results
88% Normal
Based on 8 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • sissycakes
    4 years ago

    I think this can be resolved. The child is really young. You will come to love this child. Just engage him and your kids in activities where everyone can play and get along. If a child hits another child honestly just pick them up and move them away from the other child and talk to them about why. By the way give attention to the other kid that got hit first.

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  • GaelicPotato
    4 years ago

    You again

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  • Tealights
    4 years ago

    He's not your son.

    Though we all want to preach how good we are, we're still animals and instinctual to some degree. He didn't come from you. He doesn't look like you. His smell and mannerisms aren't familiar to you. You've proven this in your own post by separating YOUR children from his child. When families come together, the parents aren't just dating each other, but becoming new parents to their children/child.

    You need to have a talk with your boyfriend about how serious the relationship is between you two. If you two are certain of marriage or at least a long term relationship; then you need to ask him for permission to be that child's mother (emotionally, not legally), because that's what that boy needs. He needs a mom. I think that once you have his consent to raise this boy, you'll feel comfortable teaching him right from wrong as if he were your own.

    If by some chance your boyfriend agrees, put on some serious mom pants, because you got some rough roads ahead raising this troubled child who is probably only acting out over the loss of his family. However, don't treat him like an outsider, make him apart of your family. Don't let him utter words like, "You're not my real mom," because a real mom is more than blood, it's being there and loving him. Good luck.

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  • xxLucifer
    4 years ago

    I'm not really onboard with the whole sharing concept you seem to have. Yeah it's good to teach children to share, but at the same time a kid should have an understanding of ownership and shouldn't feel compelled to give something up just because someone asks them to use it.

    Also the fact that he isn't your child and he didn't grow up with your children is going to make it harder especially if you and your boyfriend haven't been together for too long and/or the kid doesn't spend much time with your kids. If the kid was an only child then that could be it as well.

    You got to think about it in the kid's perspective. Chances are he doesn't see your children as family and as such he sees no reason he has to be nice to them. Not all children can make friends with everyone and forcing a kid to hangout with someone they may not like and the kid could act out.

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    • Normalnot1
      4 years ago

      The sharing thing isn’t when he is even using the toy or whatever if he sees someone with something that belongs to him he automatically wants it.

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      • xxLucifer
        4 years ago

        Ok, and? Honestly would you want someone to come up to you and just grab something that belonged to you without asking? I would be kinda annoyed if someone just grabbed something that belonged to me without permission. Even if they do ask though if it does belong to the kid then it's his decision to let someone else play with it or not just in the same way someone can ask you to use something that is yours. Just because you aren't using something doesn't mean it's free for anyone to use.

        Again, the kid may not even like your children and do you really think that forcing the kid to let other children, that he may not like, use his stuff is going to make the kid like the other children?

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  • RoseIsabella
    4 years ago

    I think that the sharing thing is a bit much to force on someone, but he shouldn't be hitting other kids. I'm one of two kids, and this might not be nice, but I didn't really enjoy my younger sister always bothering me. I mostly wanted me be left alone.

    I think it's more important to teach a young person to respect other people's posessions than it is teach them to share. I think it's okay to not always want to share.

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