Is it normal to experience reverse dysphoria?

I (AFAB) have been questioning my gender for more than a year. A couple of months ago I had accepted that I was non binary and I preferred using they/she pronouns, until I suddenly began to feel like I was a boy, even though I didn't want to be one. I thought this feeling would go away and that it was just a matter of time, but my dysphoria eventually got worse, so I had to accept it and started feeling more comfortable with he/they pronouns.

Yesterday morning I was feeling particularly gender euphoric, but a couple of hours later I felt like my dysphoria suddenly disappeared. Out of nowhere I started feeling like a girl, and now I feel like I'm experiencing some sort of "reverse dysphoria". Masculine or neutral terms make me feel weird and uncomfortable now, even though I feel like they fit me much better. If someone called me a non binary on social media, I would be fine with it, but if I imagine myself or look at my reflection I see a girl and those terms suddenly make me feel panick and anxiety. I feel some kind of urge to present feminine even though I hate it. Is reverse dysphoria a thing? Is it normal to shift genders and feel like you're a completely different person each time?

Voting Results
78% Normal
Based on 9 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 30 )
  • SkullsNRoses

    I’m not a gender expert by any means but perhaps you’re gender fluid all pronouns?

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    • Lusty-Argonian

      Your saying you don't have a doctorate in gender studies? How dissapointing

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      • 1WeirdGuy

        I had a conversation with this transgender person on discord who was studying to get a masters in gender studies. It seemed to be an intelligent person, well atleast "book smart". Knew history and economics well but had no common sense.

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        • Lusty-Argonian

          Thats absolutely tragic. Did you try explaining to them that there's no job market for it outside of teaching it?

          Also it?

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          • 1WeirdGuy

            No I didnt explain to it about how theres no opportunity. I think we were talking about taxes mostly and it knew alot about tax laws which was surprising. When it said it was gonna major in gender studies I was surprised. It made me think that college just fucks people up.

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    • 1WeirdGuy

      Gender expert? 😂

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    • Maybe, but the thing is I don't want to be a girl, I want to present masc but I don't know why I feel panicky when I do. It's like I have this urge to present fem in order to be comfortable but I don't want to. I don't know if this is only a gender thing or if some kind of depersonalization disorder is involved

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      • RoyyRogers

        Are you perhaps gender nonconforming?

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        • I've always been gender nonconforming, I've also always liked presenting androgynous, and I still want to. But I don't know why I feel like my gender changed all of a sudden and it's like something in my head forcing me to present feminine even though I don't want to.

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  • ospry

    Sorry if this comes off as rude, it isn't intended to be. What I've never understood is, if gender has nothing to do with physical anatomy and is mental, what does it mean to feel "male" or "female"? Like, how does feeling male or differ from feeling female? If gender's not an objective, physical presence of certain genitalia, then what does the word actually mean?

    I haven't had anyone who's been able to answer that question. Their answers typically skirt the issue and delve into some vague non-answer about how each person uniquely perceives their life experience, at which point isn't gender basically the same ethereal, almost philosophical sense as self?

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    • RoyyRogers

      Personally I understand the concept of feeling male or female. I feel like some people are more down to earth and some people are very swayed by emotions. Being emotional and manipulative is something we associate with females and tell women that's normal. Being to the point and down to earth is what we expect from men. So if say you are a female who operates under traditional male logic you likely get along with men more. While if you are a male who functions under normally accepted women brain patterns you likely prefer women as company since you think like them. Which I think a better term would be are you masculine brained or feminine brained. Since really anyone can be any combination of either or more leaning to either.

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      • ospry

        That would make sense. What about people like me, though? I'm a straight man who's never questioned my gender, and I'm very emotional. I cried while watching the end of Inside Out and I often trust my intuition if something feels right, even if I have list of (what I feel are) objective reasons to either do or not do something

        I'm not trying to say that invalidates your point by any means. I'm just genuinely curious what your opinion is on that

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    • I genuinely have no idea. I used to not understand it either, but in my case it's like something shifts in my mind and I suddenly am a different gender, I have no idea if this is normal and I can't control it

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      • ospry

        I can appreciate that it's something you can't really explain. That's gotta make the experience all the more frustrating for you. In terms of whether it's normal for transgender people to oscillate like that, I wouldn't be able to say. However, questioning one's gender identity is a common symptom with some anxiety disorders like OCD. If it's a possibility for you, it might be worth getting screened to see if you have or are at risk for something like that. I'm not transgender myself but I've seen a lot of studies that seem to indicate transgender people are more prone than cis people to have an accompanying mental illness

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        • Thank you for the advice. I am considering going to therapy but I'll have to talk to my parents about it since I'm pretty young.

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          • ospry

            Who knows? Maybe you'll find that your parents are able to help you out even without a therapist. Best of luck figuring all this out!

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  • hauntedbysandwiches

    There's no way to feel male or female, we as a society have stereotypes associated with gender but male and female are only your biology, you can't feel like either, you just are one or the other. The brains of males and females are virtually indistinguishable so there's quite literally no way to feel like one or the other even if you base gender on emotion.

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    • 1WeirdGuy

      Hormones make one behave different. This is one reason why men and women have gone into different fields and are good at different things. Theres too many coincidences for all these things to only be societal. Something definitely makes the two different.

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    • I'm aware, that's why I really don't know how to explain what I'm feeling

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  • BleedingPain

    i often pull off an androgynous look and subsequently get called boy or sir… i really enjoy it as I dont think clothing and hair styles should be exclusive to one gender. In your case, you shouldnt seek to please others. If something feels right, go by it. If it doesnt dont

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  • adobeslats

    What brought on the feeling of wanting to be a boy? Internalized misogyny is a thing, behind many ftm detransitioners… just sayin

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    • I didn't detransition, I just stopped feeling like a boy for some reason and I'm trying to figure out why. It was very sudden tho

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      • adobeslats

        I meant that detransitioners are a thing and when it’s FtMs usually they wanted to be a man because they felt inferior as women, so maybe that’s how you feel

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        • In my case I didn't want to be a boy, but I did feel like one. Instead, I tried to deny to myself that I was trans. Idk if the reason behind those feelings was that I felt inferior as a woman, but I highly doubt it.

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  • kelili

    You cannot feel like a by because you have never been one. You have felt what you thought a boy felt like. Same thing for those claiming to feel as a woman. Woman is not a feeling. All of us are different.

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    • Lol I know that but dysphoria exists and it's a condition, I can't do anything about it

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      • kelili

        Yes, a condition that can be treated. I hope you'll get the help you need and never land on a surgery table.

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  • iEatZombies_

    You're confronting yourself with the truth that you're a girl, and that's uncomfortable when you spend so much time convincing yourself that you were born broken.

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