Is it normal to fear being around men and fear compliments from men

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9 Comments

I feel rather afraid whenever I see any male who is even mildly attractive. They can be across the room and if I see them I automatically want to leave the room before they see me. Also, if a male compliments me on physical appearance I become so afraid I feel like I need to vomit. I am able to explain why I have this fear, bit I don't know if it's something serious enough to bother getting help. (I am an 18 year old female)

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Based on 50 votes (20 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • lemoneyy
    12 years ago

    I know about cases where girls were severely bullied by boys when they were 12-15 and those feelings you describe is what happens when they cross into adulthood. So maybe, yes, a counsellor would be a very good ideda :)

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  • TyLee
    12 years ago

    I feel so bad for MrsEdGein :( guys can be so disgusting and terrible!! After getting raped very badly I felt like this too but after a few years I feel more ok but some guys really do just want to hurt you so you have to be super careful. Even guys who don't intentionally want to hurt you can hurt you like my past two boyfriends. You need to find someone who is respectful and caring.

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  • themorgan239
    12 years ago

    The previous comment said it perfectly. The only thing I'd add is that I have been mocked with compliments by those who wish to hurt me. I've also been stalked by strange men who have photographed me on the public bus as well as followed me around asking personal questions. I've never been genuinely complimented by a guy. Does counseling even do good in this case or do I just have to learn to deal with it, get confidence, and grow some balls when it comes to fear?

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  • MrsEdGein
    12 years ago

    I'm uncomfortable around men but that is because I get treated negatively by them just because I'm not pretty. I have been called ugly be men several times in the past and it still kills my self-esteem to this day. So all that attitude from them has made me tense around them because I'm convinced ALL men see me as disgusting. I've never had a relationship and by the looks of it I never will. I wish I was dead so I wouldn't feel so damn lonely all the time. It's killing me.

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    • [Old Memory]
      12 years ago

      Ahhh, sweetie. You are a worthwhile person. I believe many potential mates exist for everyone, if getting one is your goal. It sounds like the circles you are in, suck. Find different social circles---outside of your town, city, or state. Not all men are superficial scum bags.

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  • shade_ilmaendu
    12 years ago

    If something traumatic has happened to you, it's normal. It's also normal if you can find reasoning for why you feel that way. If it's irrational, those things happened. In an circumstance you may want to seek help to work through these problems.

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  • morbidkreation
    12 years ago

    This is not normal in unless you have been abused in some way. If you want to have any kind of normal social interaction with a male, you should try getting some help.

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  • Ldizzy1234
    12 years ago

    Its probably just nerves. You might be feeling insecure and worried that even if they're just mildly attractive, you won't be able to meet up to their standards. Maybe you should talk with a counselor. Then you'll feel much more comfortable around men.

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  • Brynne
    12 years ago

    Do you fear you will be abused or taken advantage of? Or afraid of the unknown , him or relationships in general? It sounds like there's something you need help dealing with.

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