Is it normal to fear my death?

66% Normal
7 Comments

All my life my family has been my only problem and concern. 3 years ago proved to me that blood doesn't consider you family . 3 years ago my entire family turned their back against me. And won't let me go after what I want. If I stay with them I'll be forced to be what they want. As a middle eastern girl.. It won't be easy to marry the guy I love, or study what I love or be out past 8 pm even though I'm turning 19.. I have the option of leaving .. But it also means my possible death by them hunting me down. Not am I just middle eastern but I'm the "big bosses daughter." I would have to leave the state to even be safe. But I wouldnt be able to afford it.. Not only that, I have a guilt that eats me Alive in ruining our family reputation by bringing my father down in the most respected families daughter to runaway. But I don't consider this a family .. I never have . From a young age I have been sexually assaulted and raped by blood. My uncle. But because my family thought to highly of theirselves and the reputation we hold, they called me a liar. But once my mom saw my proof she begged me to keep quiet. I have never seen my mother cry and beg me for something .. And well shes my mom.. So i did. And everyday she looks at me like I'm a mistake . Not to mention she said it alot. I just can't bare to stand being in a house of a uncle that has that smile of defeat on his face. A Mother who wishes she didn't have me and how I make her life hell, and the entire family that looks down on me because I'm different ! I grew up being bullied and when I got home the torture just continued .. Ive tried to commit suicide 5 times. I've lost myself. I've lost who I am. I don't know who I am, what I want to do or what I want to be. I just need advice .. Help ..? Please .

Voting Results
66% Normal
Based on 68 votes (45 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    Your story is really sad im not really sure what to say, besides save up as much money as you can and get out of there, when you leave that place you will find yourself and finally be free.

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  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    Please don't take offense at what I'm about to say, but this is why many Western people tend to dislike Islam. I most sincerely hope and pray that someday you can escape from the tyranny and oppression that is your family.

    If you can somehow get to a Western country I would highly recommend that you change your name, leave your Muslim faith and alter your appearance. I wish you all the best from the bottom of my heart!

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  • Treehugger29
    9 years ago

    Please, ignore the people who try to convert you to their religion. I am disgusted by those who see this as an opportunity for a conversion. They should be ashamed of themselves. They are doing this only to comfort their minds. You must figure out what suits you best. You must be desperate, willing leaving everything you know behind. I can only give you this advice: RUN. Run as far away as you can. Find someone whos not from around, a tourist, a western soldier, or someone that has a camera crew with them. Tell them your story and tell them to get you away from there. I wish there was something else I could do for you. I hope you will be okay.

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  • NISHIMOTO
    9 years ago

    I know it may not sound helpful and practical yet, but this is the truth. God knows that life is never easy and He also knows the way to future eternal happiness. Whatever awful things happen on Earth, there is eternal happiness and love for we who believe that Jesus died for us. God and His plans are supernatural.

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  • Geezerdom
    9 years ago

    You need to get the hell out of there.

    You don't say where you are currently. I don't know how difficult it will be for you to leave, but I think you need to and get to someplace where you can be who you really are. I don't think you need to give up Islam or find Jesus, what you need is to find yourself. I wish you well.

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  • NISHIMOTO
    9 years ago

    I am so sorry to hear about your life story. From what I can understand from your writing, you are being sexually abused by an uncle.
    I had to write and re-write my next paragraphs before I finally gave it. But what I say now is important. I don't want to suggest anything to criticise you and your mother but here is the only thing that can really save you and your loved ones - JESUS. I will pray for you and your mother. Your mother seems to be as much as a victim as you are. I am sure she loves you completely but the men in her life are causing her to act differently.
    I will pray for you, fellow sister.
    GOD BLESS YOU. JESUS DIED FOR YOU. FOLLOW CHRIST

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    • Geezerdom
      9 years ago

      While I'm sure you mean well, I don't think Jesus has anything to do with getting oneself out of a toxic environment.

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