Is it normal to fear my future every day?

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6 Comments

I am a 21 year old college student, with an associates degree. I am in my 4th year, but failed 6 out of 10 attempted classes last year, and lie to everyone about how I am doing in school. I have lost all motivation to do anything related to school. I live at home with my parents at the moment. Every day I think about what will happen when everyone finds out how poorly I am doing in school. When they find out, It will be when I get kicked out of college for not holding up my GPA. At that time I will be jobless, with almost a year of wasted time at school, and only 8 thousand dollars in student loans to show for it.

Every day I fear being homeless, fear everyone in my life hating me as much or more than I hate myself for wasting my parent's time and money. I fear I have destroyed my life before it began.

Voting Results
75% Normal
Based on 32 votes (24 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Rufus
    12 years ago

    I perceive that you are an intelligent person. I think you could have passed your classes if you were genuinely doing your best. Something is either distracting you, or else you are simply not sure of your path, like a horse that has caught the scent of something ominous ahead. You may be letting someone else steer you with the crack of a whip.

    By fearing the future, you may be letting it reel you in like a fish. But fear can also be a powerful weapon. Fear can make a man go berserk, if he is intent on surviving, and is able to release his inhibitions completely. I think that if you clear your mind of distractions, you can see clearly what you really want, and if you are truly afraid of the future, and willing to sacrifice all non-essentials, you may crush the scaly claw of fate with the hammer of determination and rage. But your blow must be well placed.

    Never accept defeat, but never pursue what you do not truly desire. Good luck.

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    • littlelulu1999
      12 years ago

      I agree with Rufus....sounds like school is not making you happy...maybe you aren't ready for school right now (some people go back to school when they are older because a lot of people are not ready for academic, emotional or financial demands of college/grad school)...or maybe school isn't for you (there are plenty of people who are successful and happy and didn't go to college/grad school)...you need to be honest with yourself and with your family....you are not the first or the last person who found themselves not doing well in school and in debt because of it (the educational system has failed a lot of people and that's why there's a shitload of people protesting because of it---an education doesn't guarantee anything nowadays and a lot of people are opening their eyes to that...many people are brainwashed into to go to college at 18 without a clue as to what they want or other options to make a living....be grateful you didn't waste more years and that you are not $40,000 to over $100,000 in debt like a lot of people are with degrees that they can't to squat with)....there even are tons of people that change careers several times in life because they went down the wrong career path....how many people know what they want at 18---a very very small percentage....I suggest you leave school and find a job in an area that interest you (or try temp work to try to taste various fields)....take the time now to find what will make you happy...what your passion is....you are young enough that you have time on your hands to explore various options...you may come back to school, or you may find you don't need it....either way take control of your life and find something that makes you happy...

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      • NV548
        12 years ago

        Where do I start? I think, I have the resolve to tell my dad after this semester ends.
        My plan so far, is to finish this semester, and between Dec 14th-30th, start search for a job, and hope to have one by January, and then after new years, so I do not ruin anyone's holiday, tell my dad about it.
        So after new years, I should have a job, and hopefully be able to tell them.

        My future plan, is to be out my dad's house at the maximum of summer, if not earlier.
        The problem I suppose with that, is even with a full time job, are apartments cheap enough that I can provide rent for one, and have enough for food and gas, and even my student loans?
        I really don't want to have an apartment with someone I don't know, but well I do not know anyone who lives where I do, heh.

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      • Rufus
        12 years ago

        I think every high school graduate should hear that.

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  • lina222444
    12 years ago

    well are you depressed? You are not a failure to begin with knowing that you managed to enter your forth year. If you fail, another year won't hurt and your parents dont have to know anything. Just tell them you want to obtain your masters that's all. Don't give up. 21 is still young. hell I got pregnant at 24 an everyone thought I would fail at being a single mother, but here I am working 25 dollars an hour and in school part time. It can be done!

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    • carterjm4
      12 years ago

      good for you :) I'm really inspired now.

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