Is it normal to feel this alone?

78% Normal
5 Comments

I've always felt a bit different to everyone, not superior in any way, but on another frequency.

As I approach my mid-20s, I'm feeling more alone than I ever did during my adolescent years or early school days. I went to college, established a good group of friends, and since we all graduated many have left the city. It does seem like I'm the one who initiates/keeps contact with a lot of these friends, and in a sort of weird test, it has now been 4 days since anyone texted me to check-in.

Everyday I feel I make effort with people, I am liked by my colleagues and we enjoy lunch hour together and things like that, but at the end of the day I find myself alone and really feeling like no one wants to talk to or spend time with me. Even my parents seem to be tuning out when I FaceTime them (we live in different countries). I don't share that I feel lonely because the last thing I want is for people to think I'm negative.

This is the first place I've come to share this, I'm not terribly upset nor do I want sympathy, but is it really this normal to feel so alone? I'd just like a consistent friend, is that too much to ask?

Voting Results
78% Normal
Based on 32 votes (25 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 5 )
  • Curima
    7 years ago

    I'm right there with you, though I don't put in as much effort as it sounds like you do. For what it's worth, I think pretty much everyone expects others to initiate social interaction, so it's not like they're talking to each other all the time and leaving you out - they're probably not talking to anyone that doesn't talk to them first. In that way, you probably soothe their own loneliness by being so active about it.

    That's the kicker, really - most people feel this way at some level. As much as TV and movies and such venerate the idea of a die-hard true friend that's the most important thing in the world to you, I think very few people are lucky enough to actually find such a person in life. I can't make it feel better, since I'm the same way myself, but at least you can know that it is, in fact, normal.

    It may also be worth pointing out that some people are satisfied with exactly the kinds of shallow interactions you described already having, so it's not like others who don't get so lonely necessarily have better friendships than you do - you just want something deeper and more meaningful.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    3
    3
      -
    • konakibble
      7 years ago

      Thank you so much for your response. So much food for thought :).

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • Dunga
    7 years ago

    In today's world people are more selfish than ever before and only care for themselves, they leave you when you are in your deepest troubles and need them most so yes these days "consistent friends" is too much to ask for....

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Shackleford96
    7 years ago

    I feel like I could have written this myself. I do think it's normal that you feel that way. It sucks sometimes, always feeling like you have to be the initiator, because it makes you want to question the true nature of the friendship(s). It makes you suspect that maybe they are not as meaningful as you think they are. It makes you question your own likability and can damage your self-worth.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Sara0303
    7 years ago

    I feel for you. Loneliness is a terrible feeling. You may try to join an activity or a class, or spend time with family.
    No man is an island, people are meant to socialize.
    I'm going through something similar now, but l've felt terribly lonely before.
    I can empathize with you, and l hope things get better.
    You're brave for reaching out. Good luck

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0