Is it normal to feel this way about religion??

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29 Comments

My now ex boyfriend is a hard core Christian and wants nothing more then to live a good Christian life. He believes in no smoking, no drugs, no alcohol, no parties, no sex before marriage and no cremation, which from my understandings of Christianity those are only small parts to leafing a good life. But he also needed me to believe in those things too in order for us to be together, hence the ex. But he opened my eyes to God and made me a little more aware. I WANT to believe in God, not because of him but the information he told me, but I just can't bring myself to accept it. There is always this voice in the back if my head saying "you know he doesn't exist so why are you trying?". But now I have this burning question of, which do you think is worse pretending to believe in God or to not believe in him at all? Cause I think that's what I am doing is pretending. I want everyone to keep in mind I am not against religion it just doesn't make sense to me, I am fully accepting of all religions, Christianity is just not for me.

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68% Normal
Based on 19 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 29 )
  • Nokiot9
    9 years ago

    Why would you let an ex bf so heavily influence ur spiritual decisions? When you know it's all bs. When you know HE is bs. Don't buy into they evangelist hype. If there is a god, he is a kid with am ant farm and a magnifying glass under the sun.

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  • FocoUS
    12 years ago

    The relationship is bad. Religious people are completely tolerable until it hits home. Your boyfriends knows this.

    He's trying to convert you because he doesn't want you to got to hell. He cares from his point of view. He also understands that a relationship won't work with these two distinct point of views. Now you tell me honestly, does it make you sad that he goes to church? It would make me sad, because from my point he takes time out of his day so someone can lie to him. And if I really cared I would ask him to leave.

    Christians and atheist don't mix. And if someone wants to tell me that they do it's only because one person surrenders.

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  • pantoffels
    13 years ago

    The problem with hardcore extremists in any religion is that they tend to forget the real reason why they are following their faith in the first place.
    i believe the main the underlying lesson common amongst all religions is to give us humans a way in which we can live together peacefully, selflessly, and respectfully.
    this is obviously not happening in our world.
    (hence i'm an ex-christian.)
    extremists focus on why their religion is better than another, and other insignificant things such as how there sex life will effect their chances of getting into heaven. its not what it is about.
    are u telling me that, if everyday i try live my life in a way that will have a positive effect on those around me, if i respect other people and all life around me, and one day when i die, and god turns out to be real, he is going to smite me and send me to the depths of hell for doubting his existence?
    not the kind of god i want to follow anyway.
    but hey thats just my view

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    I can't resist. But I swear to my own God that this is the last posting in this devolved thread.

    "Are you comfortable with ambiguity?"

    No and truthfully you aren't either. Man has always felt a need for everything to make sense. Your own idea of ambiguity is an attempt to categorize, understand, and simplify a world you don't understand.

    "You don't understand"

    My my my! So disagreeing with you suddenly means I'm an un-understanding peasant! No howaminotmyself, I am very intimate with your beliefs.

    "Are you too afraid too open your eyes?"

    Of course not. If I had kept closed eyes all my life I'd still believe democracy is the perfect form of government, man is an unselfishly good creature born with morality, that man doesn't haphazardly perceive the truth through the dirty lens of his own flawed mind and that the principles of Freedom and Peace can co-exist in the same society.

    No no no. You've been engaging a man you don't fully understand.

    Au revoir! (for real this time)

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    • howaminotmyself
      13 years ago

      By all means disagree. I am trying to understand you but this format makes it difficult.

      Are you trying to understand me or just disagree with my world view?

      Honestly, it's pretty easy to feed you the bait. (how does it taste?)But you will never know if it's my own belief or that of the devils advocate. Either way....

      until next time ;)

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    There's no point in me continuing to debate you. You've made your point, I disproved it, you ceded somewhat then came back with a "true but.." statement then I combated that statement with logic.

    Now to disprove you I need "sources" when you haven't been using any sources this whole argument. Oh the irony :)

    Frankly howaminotmyself you sound like someone who believes in a very ambiguous, individualistic world full of complexities that can't be possibly known other than by the most elite.

    It's not a philosophy that will catch on with the common man and power flows from them. Therefore, I can take comfort in that your ideas will never survive beyond the classroom you found them in.

    Au revoir! :)

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    • howaminotmyself
      13 years ago

      I learn everything from life, not a classroom.

      I am comfortable with ambiguity, but are you? It has nothing to do with the elite.

      You don't understand, it is okay to disagree. You haven't proven anything to me other than that you are stubborn. So am I! Proof, it's a tricky thing. How do you know you are using logic?

      But isn't it interesting to see the world through different eyes? Or are you too afraid to open them.

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  • vienna666
    13 years ago

    MaskedGunman I do not need your input. I know that he does not exist......science proves that there is not some 5,000 year old guy sitting up in the clouds watching and judging everything we do. Sorry but that's ny opinion

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    • [Old Memory]
      13 years ago

      Science cannot prove or disprove the existence of God. To say so is to reveal your extreme ignorance of BOTH subjects.

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    • Flying_Carpet
      13 years ago

      If it's your opinion then that doesn't mean you "know" God doesn't exist. An opinion is not a fact. I'm not saying I believe in God either, but no one can say they know.
      Who knows, maybe science is right but there might also be an existance of some type of hidden power. Keep in mind there are thousands of different deities, so the Christian God isn't the only possibility. Or maybe you are right. Who knows? We'll find out when we die.

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  • vienna666
    13 years ago

    Yes masked gunman I know that god doesn't exist no quotations needed.

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    • [Old Memory]
      13 years ago

      I am curious as to how you "know" God doesn't exist. The quotations are needed, because the true definition of the word "know" is to be aware of something that can actually be known, unlike the non-existence of God, so you are not using it correctly. It would be more accurate for you to say "I have faith that God doesn't exist."

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    You "know" God doesn't exist?

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    I could always use a hug! :)

    1.)) Don't interpret my anger as against you. Does a man get mad at a car when it goes as directed by it's driver?

    Of course not. And my anger is not directed at the vessels false ideas find themselves able to use.

    2.)) "Spirit is an abstract concept"/ "That's all we do is define our reality"

    We define the PERCEPTION of our reality but we don't define it. There are certain principles in our world that are true no matter whether they are perceived or not.

    "Spirit is an abstract concept"

    It is but how does that prevent it from some form of explanation. Love is abstract but can you pretend to not be conscious of what love is?

    3.)) You're running off into bunny trails. My point is that all "abstract" beliefs are accepted on faith, no exceptions.

    With that in mind, there's nothing holier or more enlightened about Spiritualism as it's Religion misnamed.

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    • howaminotmyself
      13 years ago

      Why are you angry? And I think you just called me a vessel of false ideas...can I be childish and say "takes one to know one"

      1- yes, people get mad at inanimate objects all the time. More accurately, they take the frustration they have in themselves out on what they see before them.

      2. What is reality without our perception of it? True, it exists without our defining it. So why are we defining it?

      I am conscious of love. I can feel it in my soul. What does it feel like to you? How do you define love? What makes you love? Do you think your experience of love is the same as mine?

      3. The bunny trails need to be explored my friend. Your arguments are solid yet they seem to lack a feminine quality. What are your creative pursuits? It seems you are arguing for the sake of arguing, which I can respect. But don't for a moment think that alternative ways of viewing the world are "wrong" or "false" because you can't find a "fact" to make it fit into a box. Some facts just aren't allowed for human consumption.

      Spiritualism isn't Religion misnamed, or renamed. Spirit transcends religion. Religion is earthly, spirit is universal.

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      • [Old Memory]
        13 years ago

        Ok...

        "your arguments lack a feminine quality"

        I'm a man. I speak from the perspective of masculinity and if that offends you then perhaps it's time you come over to my side of things.

        After all a world of Valkeers is a world of peace, harmony, and brotherhood.

        "Bunny trails need to be explored"

        Nope. And I'm not going to.

        "Spiritualism isn't religion"

        I gave you the proof for why spiritualism is another religion and you never addressed it. If you're in denial on your own religion then there's no sense in debating you.

        Whether you like it or not spiritualism IS unquestionably religion.

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        • howaminotmyself
          13 years ago

          You do know that all humans are made up of feminine and masculine traits? It has nothing to do with gender.

          I did tell you the difference between the two and you are ignoring it. You did not give me proof. You reiterated a half digested philosophical debate you heard (or possibly read) somewhere. Unless of course you are referring to the "ism" at the end of the word. In that case, I really was referring more to "spirituality." But you can turn anything into a religion if you want.

          Proof. ha! Unless you site sources you may as well be quoting from the bible. Proof....

          There is nothing about your comments that make me think your world is more harmonious with brotherhood. Maybe you should allow for sisterhood and community.

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          • howaminotmyself
            13 years ago

            "Not quite conversation
            It was somewhere in between
            You said everything is taught
            And I listened patiently

            All this talking pony
            Still monkeys the whole time
            We could not help from flinging shit
            In our modern suits and ties"

            -modest mouse-

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    randomjelly:

    I understood the basic concept of spirituality as a hodge podge Frankenstein of several religious elements but what I'm guiding howaminotmyself to see is that "spirituality" is just another word for religion.

    It has beliefs, makes distinctions between what's right and wrong, does it's best to provide happiness for it's followers, and is accepted on the basis of faith.

    So since the two are the same, making the claim that spirituality is "holier" than religion is basically sticking your nose at people saying "My religion can beat up your religion".

    Which is EXTREMELY arrogant.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Man what a cop out.

    "However I cannot tell you what spirituality means to you"

    Human beings don't get to define their reality. "Spirituality" if you even know what that is retains it's meaning despite whatever it might mean to me.

    A red house might mean a blue house to me but the red house is indeed red. Nothing can change that. I might see an apple as evil and poisonous but it is indeed healthy.

    So.

    Instead of that lame cop out, why don't you tell me what spirituality is? Come on enlighten me, the unwashed peasant I am :)

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    • howaminotmyself
      13 years ago

      I'm sorry you found my comment lame. I do not wish to define for you something you need to learn for yourself. And unwashed peasants have a better idea of spirituality than you give them credit for. But seeing as you have access to a computer, and the internet, I doubt you are a peasant.

      Fair enough, the "definition" of spirituality doesn't really change. However what it means to you will always remain subjective. It cannot be compared to the value of an apple, an apple is tangible. Spirit is an abstract concept.

      For me, spirituality is the view of your own soul. It is how one identifies with existence. The energy that is contained inside your flesh creating the human experience for "you".

      Are you kidding me? That's all we do is define our reality. Dig a little deeper. Red house/blue house. Is it a house, is it a home, maybe it's a shack, or a huge mansion, maybe a cottage? Who cares what color it is, I could be color blind. Color, for the most part, is inconsequential. Unless you live in an area where you can only have different shades of white. But that's not the issue here. The reality of my home isn't likely the same as your reality of your home. But it is still a home.

      Do you want to be enlightened? or do you just need a hug?

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  • randomjelly
    13 years ago

    I'll post more if that basic explanation didn't clear it up lol

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  • randomjelly
    13 years ago

    Religion is defined...categorized. Spirituality...not so much.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    "Keep in mind that religion and spirituality are two really different things."

    Do tell. What IS the difference between spirituality and religion?

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    • howaminotmyself
      13 years ago

      I'm flattered Valkeer ;) Do you really have no idea what the difference is? That makes me a little sad if it's true. I am more than happy to share my views with you. However I cannot tell you what spirituality means to you. This is something you have to discover for yourself. If you need a guide, I can be that. But I get the feeling you are just looking for buttons to poke at. Go ahead, I can take it.

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  • howaminotmyself
    13 years ago

    Please keep in mind that religion and spirituality are two really different things. You don't have to believe in the Christian idea of god to believe in god.

    Only you can define what god means to you.

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  • paradoxinsoxs
    13 years ago

    Okay well didn't mean to submit that yet and I'm sorry, I didn't get to proof read.

    But all I'm saying is you sound like an intelligent girl who doesn't need a god to show her how to be a good morale citizen. But if you feel like the Christian faith fills your dark hole then believe in Jesus Christ.
    As an ordained educator I can't say any religion is wrong, but they're all wrong until you find the right one.

    Religion is a complicated issue and you shouldn't make a rash decision about it because your teenage double pedal Jesus metal loving bf is in love with Jesus (no homo).you need to find a spirituality that makes you feel the same way your bf does about his god.

    Sorry for the huge post, but I hope you can find your path.

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  • paradoxinsoxs
    13 years ago

    I feel your pain. I was born and raised Catholic, and about the time I graduated from HS I decided to be an atheist. After a few years of religious contemplation I have found a spirituality that makes me feel a bit more complete.

    To me, sure the Christian/Muslim/Jewish god is a shame. A way to control people and their lives.

    Don't live a life you'll only regret in 10 years. Follow your heart, become aware that you live on a giant living and breathing organism known as the earth. See the sun that gives you the light you need to eat your food, read your books, and

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    • [Old Memory]
      13 years ago

      That's all well and fine for healthy people in developed countries.

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