Is it normal to feel this way after 2 years?

2 years ago, I was assaulted at a party. Later on I pretended it didn't happen until a year had passed. I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety disorder after I started counseling (pretty much only she knows). I took medication and was "ok" for a while. A couple months ago I went on vacation and stopped taking them (these ones aren't dangerous to start/stop taking). I don't want to take them but when I stopped I started getting awful anxiety and waves of depression. I think I'm getting PTSD but I'm not sure. I get vivid and weird flashbacks and I relive it at least once every night. I get illusions sometimes during the day but every night they're awful.
Is this normal to be having them NOW instead of before?
Is this PTSD?

Voting Results
77% Normal
Based on 62 votes (48 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • Anime7

    I'm sorry if this is useless, but I'm really sorry for what happened to you and I sincerely mean that.

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  • OtherSide

    Depression is often caused by feelings of unresolved conflict. You need to revisit the scene in your mind, and try to work out who was responsible for the assault. Then you need to track them down. It helps if you can find a private investigator who knows how to keep his mouth shut. Once you've located them, you can then start to resolve the conflict by shooting them or setting their house on fire.

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    • princessqqq

      Thank you, I like the fire idea. Haha.
      I revisit it every night.

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  • thegypsysailor

    You can either submit to all your problems or you can get off your ass and take control. Forget the shrinks and the drugs, they cannot help you, as you are doing all this to yourself. Nobody else is responsible, at this point.
    Do you really want to waste your life w/ every syndrome you can dream up?
    Sure it would have been nice if you hadn't gone through that horrible experience, but should you let it ruin your life? Is there any reason at all for you to be feeling guilty? If not, why on earth are you punishing yourself so much?
    YOUR CHOICE. Be a winner or be a whiner.

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    • princessqqq

      Easier said than done.

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      • thegypsysailor

        Been there, done that.
        Had some serious bouts w/ depression, but in the end, I chose to get up off the couch and put an end to it.
        "People don't choose to be depressed". No, I agree, people do not choose to be depressed, but they choose how they want to (or not) deal with it.
        No Dr. or shrink can get someone off their ass; only that person can do it.
        princessqqq;
        Who said ANYTHING in life was supposed to be EASY? If you want a great life, you are going to have to take the initiative AND work for it. Nobody is going to hand you a life you'll look back on from your rocker at, with no regrets. Living the hum drum existence most Americans lead, it's no wonder that so many of them have mental problems. And you young people coming of age; my god, it must be absolutely daunting to think that all there is in your future is that hum drum existence.
        YOUR CHOICE!

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        • princessqqq

          I also have to say that not everything is my choice. Like becoming how fucked up I am, or having sex, or having disorders. It's genetic/common in my family and is a lot more mental than chosen.

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          • thegypsysailor

            Not to be rude, or sound like an asshole (which I definitely am) it sounds like the first place for you to start is in not blaming "It's genetic/common in my family and is a lot more mental" for your present state. Again, I'm NOT trying to be cruel here, but it doesn't matter why you are as you are, it only matters how you are going to deal with it from this moment forward.
            I do not know your specific problems, but certainly you have some idea of the life you would like to live and that is a great place to begin. Now you need to find a path that will lead you there, hopefully without medication.
            If your family and friends are part of the problem, perhaps exacerbating the problem, then perhaps you need to remove them from the equation (given you are over 18?)and move away. A long way away.
            Though you cannot run away from yourself, a severe change in your life (like moving to another town) can be a great deal of help in changing your mental state. Removing yourself from all the repetitive action triggers of your present life can be liberating and helpful. The struggle to get a new life started (finding a place to live, a job and making new friends) can push your mental problems to a "back burner" so to speak, and allow you to push past them with the more immediate needs of survival.
            My educational background was in psychology, and though I never worked in the field, as a ship's captain with, at times, hundreds of crew members working for me, my training in psychology has been a huge help. When sailing small sailboats across oceans, at times with perfect strangers aboard, confined for weeks on end on a small boat in the middle of the ocean, psychology can also be quite useful.
            So I am a lightly educated, greatly experienced, pseudo-psychologist, and I am trying to help as best as I can across this medium called the internet.
            To recap; it's your life and YOU need to do something to make it better, not lay blame. Understanding why you are as you are is much less important than taking things into your own hands and, beginning today, following a path that will give you a life you can enjoy.
            Good luck, kiddo.

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            • princessqqq

              I really appreciate the advice. Like I said in other comments, I am young. I'm 14, and still trying to figure out the ropes of the illness. I'm trying to find a way out. Thank you for the advice <3 means a lot.

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        • princessqqq

          Thank you for the advice, but it's very had to 'get off my ass' when there's so much shit that is piling up. You're right, nobody did day it was easy. But, the way you're saying it makes it sound like a piece of cake. I am pushing further and have told my parents about what has happened. I also have to disagree with the whole 'shrink' thing. But depression is different for everyone.. Thanks again for the comment.

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        • JustARandomPerson

          I completely agree with you that it is important for someone to take responsibility for the way they choose how to deal and treat their depression.

          You are right no doctor or shrink can make someone change unless that person wants to change and are willing to put in the effort. It is a hard and sometimes long process, but it will only improve when someone decides to take action and do something about it.

          I think it is important to remember that everyone has different ways of coping with depression and some people require more help than others. Depending on the situation medication and therapy can be beneficial for some people, but I think medication shouldn't be the only answer.

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          • princessqqq

            Yes. Though I am young and still trying to figure my way out of this hell hole. Medication, therapy, talking to my parents, talking to friends, rethinking situations, ect.

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            • JustARandomPerson

              I'm sorry I wasn't able to help you more, but I really hope everything will work out for you.

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    • JustARandomPerson

      I understand what you are saying, but depression is an illness not a choice. People don't choose to be depressed.

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