Is it normal to freak out when touched occasionally?

40% Normal
7 Comments

I am recently married. My wife and I will be having our first year anniversary in a month. Being newly married we are still exploring each other. But there are times when my wife touches me and I just cant bear it. Its like i receive an enormous amount of fear and anxiety as it happens, and it has even been so bad before that i accidentally hurt her in order to prevent the touch from happening. This doesn't happen every single time she touches me. I will be less sensitive on certain days than on others, and i will be less sensitive to certain kinds of touch than others (hugs are okay, snuggling is okay, touch of the forearms and head are okay) But then other areas of my body seems to be like hypersensitive to touch, and the thing is if im feeling touch over a vast area it doesn't bother me. Usually the worst experience will happen when i feel just a hand or a couple fingers touching me. This all has greatly placed stress on our relationship and i have began to wonder if this is normal or if not? Keep in mind i have not experienced much of these symptoms before we got married, mainly because i was never a very touchy feely person so therefore never experienced anxiety levels as high as i do now. Its all new but has been a pattern for almost a year now.

Voting Results
40% Normal
Based on 15 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • Abnormal_Someone
    4 years ago

    You should go check a doctor. That ain’t normal

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  • lionfish
    4 years ago

    I appreciate all your feedback and concern. I love my wife very much and we try various things to try and help me get used to touch in those certain areas. But like i said i cant always predict when a certain touch will trigger a reaction and i try very hard not to react when these things do happen. I am very aware of how irrational the behavior is and yet i feel unable to change the outcome. I recently spoke with a family member about the same thing and they provided me with useful information. Apparently as a child the doctors "diagnosed" me with a high-functioning form of autism. Apparently because its high functioning ot doesn't affect every day skills such as speaking, writing, reading, working, etc. My brother had a more severe case of this when he was a child. They diagnosed him with "sensory processing disorder" of the vestibular system. Therapy had helped him overcome this to where he appears to live life as a normal individual. I was never diagnosed with this, and since my brother (whom was much older than i) got better before i can remember anything, i naturally was unaware of these things until i spoke with that family member. Apparently the behavior is the same. Guess i will go to the doctor and confirm if i suffer from a mental illness for sure. But as a matter of fact, i love my wife, i am affectionate toward her, and we are Both working to figure this out. Thank you for your time though

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  • Boojum
    4 years ago

    Frankly, it sounds like living with you isn't much fun at all. Being averse to ever being touched is bad enough in a relationship, but if your response when touched is totally unpredictable, that makes things much worse.

    I'm not an expert on these things, but it sounds to me like there could be some trauma in your past - possibly one that you've consciously forgotten about - which means that someone touching you in a certain way triggers very negative feelings.

    And, yes, if you care about your relationship with your wife, this is something you should discuss with a medical professional.

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  • RavenCage
    4 years ago

    I thought at first this was you getting annoyed when people you dislike touch you (which i can relate to) but it seems like this could be a medical case. So i'd suggest you get it checked out. And if it really kills you when your wife touches you, then i think there's no need to rush to fix this situation; since this seems like a serious case of some sort.

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  • litelander8
    4 years ago

    She probably feels worse than you do.

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    • RoseIsabella
      4 years ago

      I can agree with that. I would never want to be with some who is not very affectionate.

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  • RoseIsabella
    4 years ago

    I feel very sorry for your wife.

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