Is it normal to grieve for a pet this much?

A few months ago my dog died, and I immediately fell into this darkness. At first, my whole family was going through the same thing, and we grieved together. Now, however, my family seems to have gotten over it, and are ready to accept his death. I feel like I have too, but sometimes in the middle of the night pangs will come at me again and it's as if it had only just happened.
I feel as though I'm stuck somewhere, not quite sure how to get out of this hole that I've fallen into. I'm permanently shifting between horrible sadness, insecurity, and numbness. I've started drinking too much every time I go out, and frequently feel like giving everything up and running away. Sometimes I stare at myself in the mirror and I wonder when I got so sad.
Recently, I met someone who I thought I might like, but this sadness took me over and made me feel so insecure that I hid my feelings completely. I'm terrified of being vulnerable to someone else, open to potential pain when I'm already feeling so much.
I feel as though it will never end, and I don't know if I believe that it ever will. I feel as though I've lost myself completely. I just find myself thinking about death.
I got my dog when I was young, grew up with him as my best friend, and he died just after I left home for college. I loved him so much, but is it normal to grieve this much for a pet, or is something else going on?

Voting Results
86% Normal
Based on 81 votes (70 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • dappled

    It's different for different people. When my dog died, I took it very badly. Months after, sitting in an armchair reading a book, I'd hear a sound that was like her paws clicking on the tiled kitchen floor and I'd expect to see her come around the corner at any moment and jump up on my lap or bring me a tennis ball to throw for her. Each time, there was the sad realisation that this wasn't going to happen. This went on for two years, although it got less frequent as time went on.

    One day, I realised I hadn't "heard" her for a very long time and - at the very same instant - the part of her I'd been holding onto inside myself just left me and was never returned. It rose out of me and off my body like a vapour, and I knew for the first time that she was gone. I actually missed the grieving and denial because now there was nothing left of her. But only then did I truly start to get over it.

    If it's taking you time, then take that time. There is no timetable for these things.

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  • Tony47

    I miss my dog, she made me want to live life. She died, but gave me the will to live my life and not give in to fear and depression. My dog would never hurt me, and to the end didn't want to inconvinience me. So selfless and eager to serve. So good to me. I would have done anything for her, and now she's gone. I still wish I was better to her.

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  • Bone1999

    Yes, I really understand, my little puppy got taken away from me when I was at school it hurts so much that now I just don't have feelings anymore.
    Friends advice, see a physcologist it helps me a little, now I have a new dog, she's great! But she will never completely heal my pain. But she brightens my dark and rainy day! So I really hope you'll be ok, and yes my rat died from cancer a few months back and I'm still in shock so I totally understand you. Good luck.

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  • juswannahelp

    I am so sorry for your loss. I totally understand. I lost my best friend Toby who was my cat. He died on March 17, 2008. I still cry a lot over his death. I miss him like crazy. I swear he took a little piece of my heart with him. And u love animals, over the past 2 years, I have list 2 hamsters, and 4 mice. Each time it hurts, not nearly as much as Toby but still it hurts. My only comfort that I have found is to know they are in Heaven playing and having fun waiting for me. I am on a facebook group called Disciples for Christ and they are so caring and kind. They have helped me a lot through my pain. Please come and join us, they are really nice people to talk with who actually care. Hope to see you there. I will pray for you!

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  • xxxMissFitxxx

    I cried for a few months when my dog died... But I do think you must have been sad even before it so I suggest you get anti depressants, I did and feel abit better.

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  • alv1592

    of course it's normal to be sad. that was your beloved pet that you grew up with. just remember all the good times you had with the doggy, and know that he's with God now. hope you feel better. :)

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  • IINbb

    I felt just the same way, it has been four months after my dog went to heaven, I have been sad. I would never forget her, she understands me more than anyone. Right now, writing this comment, my eyes are full with tears already

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  • of course its normal, a love in yr life left and its sad for you, take yr own time to get over it, look after yrself and be kind to you

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  • SweetSherry

    Awwwww sad joking its just a dog

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