Is it normal to hate interactions this much?

Hey all,
I've never written about myself in the internet before, but I got to the point in this past year where I've really started to question my mental state. I know I'm not normal, don't even want to be, but am I crazy?

I found my passion in life and I'm studying for it to be my profession, it fills my free-time and 80% of my thoughts also. I'm a classical pianist and teacher, 25 years old now.

I'm very antisocial. I love only my family, and nowadays myself too (that took a lot of time and growing). During high school I used to spend more time with people, but then again I didn't know what to do with my life back then. I have been in a few longer relationships, but I'm single now and plan stay that way. I love being alone, with my thoughts.

My concern is, am I too much of an introvert? Will it destroy me eventually? I feel that I have seen everything about people, nothing surprises or excites me about them anymore. I avoid conversations, even really short ones, I'm just not interested. I usually plan my routes to minimize interactions. I have all these absurd thoughts of me being more intelligent than the vast majority of people that I daily have to interact with. I do not lack social skills, I just feel there's nothing for me to gain from talking to people.

I really don't want to be a purist, but modern music makes my everyday life really painful. It's everywhere, I really can't block it out, I'm forced to soak it in. My ears are used to pick up details in music, analysing harmonies and melodies as I go, I can't help it anymore, it just happens by nature. And trust me when I say, after being exposed to things like Chopin, Rachmaninov and Mozart for years, it really is almost physically painful for me to be forced to listen to popular or heavy music among other over-simplified, never-ending and ugly noise.

I don't answer my phone most of the time. I only like to talk if I need to get something done. I feel like people constantly steal my time and energy, it's my biggest enemy.

Some thoughts that run through my brain EVERY DAY, maybe listing these would give you a better picture of my issues, this is my life:

"I got absolutely nothing to say to you."
"I'm not interested in anything about you, please don't come closer."
"Why do you approach me? What do you want from me?"
"Leave me alone."
"Here it comes, a lot of uninteresting topics."
"Please don't say hi to me, I loathe greeting all the time, even more if it leads to some stupid small talk."
"Idiots, sheeps, I just want to go home."
"Stop staring, is it really too much asked to have my own space?"
"Gadgets, sports, bla bla, popular culture and weather bla."
"Why can't people mind their own business?"
"Consumerism, things, things and things, bleh."

"Why I'm so alone with these thoughts? Feels like I'm surrounded by zombies all my life."

"Who the **** calls me again"?

"I don't push myself or my thoughts on anyone, why is everyone shoving their uninteresting things down my throat all the time?"

You are normal. 8
You need help. 10
I'm just like you! 18
You need to change your attitude. 10
You are great! 7
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 13 )
  • eternalsmoke31

    Im kind of that way. Pretty much I was depressed because my life was lacking a serious emotional connection with the person I wanted. Small talk is free and you never know what it could lead to. As pointless as it seems its VERY necessary. Weed through the BS and talk about what YOU care about, You might find like minds and develop more friends. You will always miss out if you dont even try.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Fabulous

    You just admitted you're a Nazi and that's probably why

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • nicred

      Sorry, I don't understand what you mean.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • NotStrangeBird

    You're a tempramental artist. Normal.

    I despise small talk and stupid questions too, and I'm just a dumb bird.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • nicred

      Being an artist doesn't define anyone. It's very systematic and physical work after all. Artistry is somewhat an illusion, result of successful, long-term work, that actually appears very physical to the artist himself.

      What I'm trying to babble, is that the whole "temperamental artist" association is pretty much a myth. Many would be surprised how little it differs from other professions.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • NotStrangeBird

        I agree, but then again if you're an artist you can easily get away with being a tempremental jackass since that's what people expect.

        Nobody wants to deal with a tempremental plumber.

        I also agree that good art requires a great deal of hard work. There's too many talentless hipster dildos running around calling themselves artists.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
  • WitchesBrew

    I feel the same, even about the music. I believe you probably have a high IQ, possibly perfectionism as well like I do. (It's different than it sounds)
    I recommend seeing a psychologist, it's kinda hard to get used to talking to them but they can give you the coping mechanisms to deal with people's crap!!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • nicred

      I don't know about perfectionism, I think everyone forms some kind of ideals in their heads to strive for, anyways.

      Seeing a psychologist is a great idea, though I kind of still need to cross one more line to admit that I need one.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • changes123

    It doesn't hurt. For all you know, that person feels like shit, and is just recovering from some life threatening disease. But they appreciate life, and still greet you. What makes you better? I think you're limiting your potential, and your view of life with that mindset. For all you know, you have one shot. Might as well live it to its max.

    We all judge by appearances. I'm pretty sure you've been judged as well. It's a damn shame if that would inhibit you from finding a good friend. I don't think they carry a, *hey it's me!! I'm your best bud* sign. Lol :)

    What hurts is isolating yourself. Trust me when I say that isolation will begin to affect your whole being. We're creatures made to interact, and socialize. (I'm still recovering years later)

    My friends annoy me 24/7. Actually I lied, 24/8... but in the end, I know that none of us are perfect, and they really do have good intentions. There are moments when I'm grateful that we can hang around casually, and enjoy each others company. I love having time to myself, and thoughts as well.

    It's always smart to maintain equilibrium. Too much of one thing... always has consequences.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • nicred

      There are many interesting points in your comment, makes me think about my ways from different perspective. Thank you!

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • changes123

        Awww no problem xd

        Best of wishes to you

        Comment Hidden ( show )
  • AvidLearner

    You need Jesus in your heart. I hope one day you wake up from your slumber. You may be full of man's knowledge, but you lack spiritual wisdom.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • nicred

      I truly understand how religion can give peace to people. However, I've found that I need a more concrete way of processing my thoughts, to clarify my problems on a ground level. Otherwise I'll be left confused.

      Comment Hidden ( show )