Is it normal to hate my girlfriend's hobby?

My girlfriend LOVES to roleplay online. She roleplays through the custom multiplayer on GTA V and apparently did it for years before I came along, but stopped after a falling out. She recently picked it back up again and has been LOVING it, but I've found myself to be quite bored and lonely without her. I don't play too many video games, especially since our shared library is ALWAYS taken up by her roleplay. I spend most of my time playing the 4 games I actually own (Minecraft, Magic: The Gathering, Borderlands 2, and Portal 2), just waiting for her to log off. Also note I have owned these games for several years and have played them in their entirety, ad nauseam.

I've tried asking her to take a break because she was spending 6+ hours a day sitting at her computer, but she literally had multiple mental breakdowns from not gaming. I hate how this is consuming her life and cutting into our time together. Is it normal to hate this activity, even if she's passionate about it?

Voting Results
78% Normal
Based on 23 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 35 )
  • Clunk42

    This sounds more like an addiction than a hobby.

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  • RoseIsabella

    I could never be with someone who just wants to play video games everyday for six hours. It's such a turnoff for me that words cannot adequetly express how much I would not want a be with such a person.

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    • leggs91200

      What if he had pac-man fever?

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      • RoseIsabella

        Then I guess he'd be goin' outta his mind.

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        • leggs91200

          you didnt miss a beat.

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          • RoseIsabella

            Thanks, sugar, I couldn't do it without you. 🥰

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  • XYXY

    Dump her and move on

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  • SkullsNRoses

    It sounds like she is addicted to this game and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that lockdown started around the time she got back into it.

    I would have a talk with her, tell her you understand that gaming is important to her but you feel like you are left to look after the house by yourself and that she’s choosing video games over you. Suggest a daily schedule for the both of you with time slots of when you will do housework and start and end times to her gaming sessions.

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    • asdfgh0987

      She had a complete 180 last night. I had to take our kitty to the emergency room and while we were talking on the phone she told me she was sorry for letting this come between us. She said that her RP was from a "bygone era" and she felt dumb for trying to pretend to be something she's not. I don't know what finally clicked, but she seemed happier to have that weight off her shoulders.

      (Btw our cat is fine he probably just ate something weird)

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      • SkullsNRoses

        Glad to hear she’s come to her senses and that your cat is alright.

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  • hauntedbysandwiches

    It's okay if it's once in a while but if she's literally sitting at the computer playing games for 6 hours several days a week for months...that's an addiction and it's not healthy for a relationship. You should have a serious talk with her and tell her how it makes you feel and see if she will understand

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  • megadriver

    Yeah, there is playing videogames for fun and addiction...

    I like to get into the character of a game I'm playing and play in the style that character would go through the story, but I do not have much time to do so. Usually a few hours in the weekend and that's about it. If my girlfriend is working on Saturday, I could stretch my game time to about 6 hours, but I still gotta do stuff...

    And even if I could spend 12 hours a day gaming, I don't think I would do it. Games get boring the more you play them, so playing something bit by bit gives you far more enjoyment (in my mind) and you pay attention to details.

    But yeah, not normal dude... Have a serious talk with your girlfriend about being a proper functioning adult. We all gotta be one at some point in our lives and postponing it only makes things worse.

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  • Whatintarnation

    All you can really do is give her an ultimatum. Say it's me, us, our relationship what have you or the dumb game. If she chooses the game at least you know where you stand and can go find someone else. Honestly, she sounds like an addictive personality anyway. Good luck.

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  • rocketdave

    To fart about in a fantasy land 6+ hours a day is funny farm path!

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  • Tommythecaty

    Your girlfriend sounds more like a male virgin than a girlfriend but ok

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  • Niko12321

    Yes. I hate how obsessed with my lover's car obsession is. I know this is more than a hobby but it's in the same spirit as this post

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  • ellnell

    Too much of anything is bad. A hobby is just a hobby, shouldn't take up all of your time because then it's an addiction if you can't stop. You should talk to her about it if it's getting in the way of the relationship and if you can't work it out it's probably for the best to end things.
    Maybe then she'll realize.

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  • bbrown95

    Yes, it sounds like an addiction and obsession.

    I have a friend who is into roleplaying as well, but he will ignore my texts for days over both this and video games, while he can't put his phone down while we hang out because he's afraid those people online he's never met will be upset with him, which I think sucks that he cares more about respecting their inability to realize that people have lives outside of a phone or computer than me.

    He's absolutely obsessed with and addicted to video games as well. Luckily no mental breakdowns when asked to put them down for awhile, but he acts lost without them and plays them all day and night, and has let go of responsibilities over them.

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  • Fussmann

    Is it the activity you hate or the amount of time she spends on it? If its the activity, why? Let the woman have her hobbies. Why should you get to dictate how she has fun?

    If the issue is the amount of time she spends on it, which I think is what you're trying to say... Tell her. I definitely don't recommend giving her an "it or me" ultimatum, but let her know you want more time together, etc.

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  • --

    I wouldn't mind as long as she pulled her weight with the house chores and put out!

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  • bigbudchonga

    You got MTGA, dude? Also, what kind of stuff does she roleplay on gta?

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  • McSorley

    Is there any way you can work out a compromise? She plays a certain amount and makes time just for you? There's gotta be a fine line somewhere. If she's unwilling to make that effort I think it's time to reevaluate your relationship.

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  • litelander8

    Idk what online role play is.

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    • asdfgh0987

      It means that she likes to pretend to be someone else in a pretend world with shitty graphics and shitty rules. You need a gun permit. In GTA. You actually have to go on a website and fill in a form IN CHARACTER so your virtual person can own a virtual gun. It's riveting stuff, FOR SURE.

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      • Mammal-lover

        Thats not gta.

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      • litelander8

        I’m still not understanding. She seems lame.

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        • Fussmann

          It's basically improv acting. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W952j9ZX554

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  • CDmale4fem

    She is who she is. You can ask her to maybe not be so active with it. Is she 7 days a week with it or ? Love her as she is or move on ?

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    • asdfgh0987

      If she could, she'd be doing this 24/7. I'm the only one who makes her get up to do anything. Every time she has a free second she wants to hop on the server. She just now started after a year and I don't want to just LEAVE, but this is putting a strain on us.

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      • CDmale4fem

        So what does she say when you ask her about it ? Your ages ? Does she go to work or you support her or you live with someones parents ? There has to be a trade off. How does she afford to eat, to pay her bills ? Unless shes under 18 then she wont have bills yet. But if shes ovder she needs to be supportive of her lifestyle. Who pays the bill for her gaming ? If she doesnt then maybe she should have to get a job to pay for it. She needs other interests. Or maybe a broken game console.

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        • asdfgh0987

          For some reason the other night while I drove our cat to the ER she completely flipped the switch. She said on the phone she felt stupid trying to relive the past and making it seem like it was even remotely more important than me. Again I don't know what changed, but I think it finally clicked with her.

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          • CDmale4fem

            Well good luck, maybe you got her back now. Take the gaming stuff and slowly put them away or in the cliset, garage, or basement or wherever you store stuff.

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  • Cuntsiclestick

    The entire last paragraph pretty much sums up the fact that she's a lost cause. It's time to put your feelings of love aside and break up. People like her who can't even function like an actual adult only get worse as time goes on. You're going to wind up miserable if you stay.

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    • asdfgh0987

      She actually denounced it entirely on her own. She got caught up in some drama and I think she realized it wasn't worth it. Either way she told me that she was sorry it creates a divide between us and that she's ready to move on. I found her drawing last night. I trust she really has given this up for good.

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      • Cuntsiclestick

        Ok. I hope it all works out for you two.
        :)

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