Is it normal to hate your best friend and repel him/her from heart?

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I look at people around me critically. I see their strenghts and weaknesses, also the dark side of their personality. I can predict approximately how their future would be, according to their personality.

I just moved to this new country from a very different one. I came into this school, because i wanted to challenge myself and have a better life in the future. I was perfectly fine in my old country, and also the first school that i attended in this new one. my first best friend spoke my language.

starting from the second year in my first school here, I feel like i hate all those bad things on my best friend. i started to see more of her weaknesses, and very often i feel like i hate her.

now im in this new school. i found it harder to make friends in this school because nobody speaks my language. not a lot of people knows how it feels to be in a brand new environment. I tried to feel belonged. I found this friend, but somehow I'm not satisfied. The environment kind of forced me to choose her to my best friend. she is this shy girl, very typical, marks not higher than me, introvert, my first impression of her is that she was so pale and she doesn't fit in the group of girls that she was trying so hard to fit in.

we started being friends, when she first started to talk to me. she invited me to have lunch with her and play video games that only guys play.

now it's been about 9 months since we were best friends in this school, i started to have that feeling again. i feel that this best friend of mine is a loser. i started to see her weaknesses, and i think about how those will bring me down. i feel that she is useless, she doesnt take the initiative to live better. she shames me.

I've heard of that, if you're that kind of person, you make that kind of friends. But im not the kind of person like my best friend. somehow i feel like she fails. but i dont.

feeling like that, I started to repel her. i feel like i need to escape. I need a better friend who can actually be my role model, and make good affects on me. I need a friend who I can actually learn good things from, but not dragging me down.

But then it feels like i ditched her, or betrayed her. I sounds like I make friends just to take advantages from them. I sounds like that once my friend does not benefit me anymore, I break up with them.

but no. I use to treat my friends so kindly. so selflessly. I know that friends are to support each other and feel happy when together. But some how i feel that my best friend is not worth it for me to rely on. She's actually a fine person, she's nice to me in her way. It's just that she cant go deeper than that. I don't actually open my heart and tell her my secrets and stuff. She's just too introvert, and I know I can't change that. But I hate all of those, and I really feel like I need to ditch, or I'm going to drown.

the feeling is so weird and too complicated. IIN?

PLEASE HELP Me

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65% Normal
Based on 40 votes (26 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • kellstar79
    12 years ago

    To TheManagement. I'm constantly seeing this poster writing posts and one minute they claim to be male, then in another they are female, then they have a full time job, then they are a full time college student. One post they claim try are from America then the next they arnt. It is the same poster, they have changed the colour but have the same username. I'm sick of seeing it as I want to reply and give advice on the real ones and I find I'm wasting my time on users like this. Especially if I post a comment and then find its this same user or another doing the same thing... I wasn't trying to sound mean, I'm just over it

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago

    if you cannot make new friends perhaps it's time to rethink how you approach people.

    you say you see their "dark sides" but... is it really the truth, or just judgments you cast upon them?

    that's something to think about... what do these friends do that is so horrible? and have you considered investigating your own dark side as well as you've looked at theirs?

    if anything the person you should always be the most critical of is yourself.

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  • Pausebutton
    9 years ago

    You're are the type of person I avoid at school and in uni. You're selfish, belittling, arrogant and conceited. The reason why you haven't been able to make friends is because your personality is so spiteful. Fix your outlook on life, and understand its not all about you. I do sympathise with you in that I always notice the flaws and intentions of people. But do understand that people are imperfect and the weaknesses you find in people, they probably have found in you also. Except, they are less a dick about it, so 1 point to them.

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  • badmanalive
    12 years ago

    "I need a friend who I can actually learn good things from, but not dragging me down."

    What if they feel the way you do, about a "lesser" person?

    You sound like a shitty person to be friends with.

    "i started to see her weaknesses, and i think about how those will bring me down"
    "I found this friend, but somehow I'm not satisfied"
    "somehow i feel like she fails. but i dont."
    "i feel that this best friend of mine is a loser. i started to see her weaknesses, and i think about how those will bring me down. i feel that she is useless, she doesnt take the initiative to live better. she shames me."

    Do us all a favor and go die somewhere.

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  • Shackleford96
    12 years ago

    Yes, I understand and relate to that.

    People change, relationships change too. It might have taken you some time to realize some of her true characteristics and maybe she isn't really the type of person you initially perceived her as? Whatever you do, if you must end things, at least try to end things on good terms. Make sure that she knows that you do care about her, but sometimes friends need to go their separate ways. Try and explain it in a way that she will understand how you feel, and not in a negative or hateful manner.

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  • kellstar79
    12 years ago

    Just because I change my colour people still know its me...

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  • kellstar79
    12 years ago

    Troll! You've been a guy, a girl, a college student, a worker. I just don't believe any of your posts anymore... Maybe you should get more accounts so you have different usernames, changing the colour on your username isn't working anymore...

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    • TheManagement
      STAFF
      12 years ago

      May I ask what you're talking about? How do you think you know who wrote this post? Why do you feel the need to post a comment like this?

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    12 years ago

    I feel like I'm trapped with her.
    I need more close frieds to choose from, so that I can get away from her.
    I tend to make friends with those lonely and introvert and people who are no better than me for some reason.'
    I feel like that's a fail. I need to make better friends, to prove that I am not a loser who only make friends with a loser.
    I need more spaces between me and her.
    I need more choices, basically, I need more friends, other than only her, and having to stick with her.
    It's just all awkward.

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