Is it normal to have a fear of crucifixes?
Ok, ever since I was in Kindergarden, I've had a fear of crucifixes. Crosses were ok to look at in the begining but now not so much. Let me explaine.
Ever since I was in Kindergarden and up until I was 18, I could not even look at a crucifix let alone go into a catholic church with out closing my eyes, shaking all over and getting sick to my stomach. I should mention that my grandma would bring home plastic crucifixes and put them in with my barbies for me to play with and when I'd find them I'd brake them in half and throw them away.
When I was 18 I had a mental brakedown and was hospitalized and from seeing everybody in their wearing roseries, I got used to seeing crucifixes, so much so that after I got out of the hospital I was able to be in my local church's passion play for 22 nights straight and 2 performances a night.
So at one point I overcame this fear.
However when I was 23 I came to the conclusion that crosses were torcher devices and now I can't even look at a cross without thinking to myself eww gross. I'm 30 now and when I do see a crucifix I get sick to my stomach and I have to close my eyes, but I don't shake anymore.
I've wondered all my life if this is a true phobea or is it just me (like maybe something my soul carried over from a past life.)
I must say I was raised Christian, When I was 21 I went to a catholic church with a friend of mine with no problem and now I have denounced my Christian faith and I am currently learning Wicca and I do believe in past lives and reincarnation and people who can communicate with the dead.