Is it normal: to have lost hope of love/sex again at 22?

2 years ago, my Fiancée died in a car accident. I've grieved, cried, sulked and raged until I was finally able to accept what happened. We met 9th grade, dated from 11th till the accident, we waited a loooong time too have sex. 3 years into our relationship I finally felt ready, he was my first, and I fear now my last... I've been on dates, even made out and have come pretty close too the deed, but I've never felt right, I feel like it's impossible for me to have sex with anyone else.

The desire is still very much there, I have intense lustful urges. I've tried to act on them. I've been naked and "ready", but when the other person put a hand or finger near my "love garden" I felt intense disgust within myself and just felt unable too so I left. IIN??

I'm no longer heart broken, I do miss him and I would give anything to rewind time, but even though it doesn't hurt much anymore I feel as if our relationship is an eternal one and I will never be able to feel the same amount of love for some one else. I still feel like even though hes gone all of myself still belongs too him.

(I'm atheist, I've accepted his death and do not need the "hes in heaven" speech, I would like to believe that but thats a whole other issue)