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It's bothering me since my early teenage years. I feel good in my gender in one day then feel good in another gender the other day. Then sometimes I'm both. Sometimes neither. I can't tell my parents,neither my friends. Is this normal or I need a brain therapy? And if this is normal,then what should I call myself?
People make gender too much of an issue. You don't have to define yourself so!
Perfectly so! That's called being genderfluid or genderflux, generally. I'd suggest looking up a dictionary of gender identities, and finding what feels right
Gender-fluid is an actual thing. It's very common.
However, to some extent, you have to determine where you believe you should go in society. It may or may not be a good idea to, for example, use the men's bathroom one day and the women's bathroom the next.
Where can I find this gender fluid? Can it be bought in litre bottles or do I have to get it in bulk?
If a dick appears one day and it's gone the next and a pussy appears then yes its a thing. Until then please shut up with the bullshit.
WELL TECHNICALLY SPEAKING, they SAID gender which is how you act socially;
"the state of being male or female (typically used with reference to social and cultural differences rather than biological ones)" [I Google searched]
While sex is having to do with the genitals;
"either of the two main categories (male and female) into which humans and many other living things are divided on the basis of their reproductive functions" [Google again]
so... I guess if they're socially a women one day, then a guy the next day; they are gender-fluid by definition.
If I got anything wrong please tell me.
Based on your reference material you are making a correct statement but the problem lies in the contortions of language made by the oxford english dictionary as of late.
Simply rewriting history doesn't make something so, although I'm beginning to doubt myself on that, because it seems the majority of the poulation falls for it.
Sometimes people who rewrite history and dictionaries fuck up and forget to change everything when they redefine words. Since the english language is fluid you can still glimpse history. For example why call a sex change operation gender reassignment surgery if the true And intended meaning of the word gender is not "sex".
*btw someone may call me a slut dog fucker in response to this post lol.
Alright then. And no worries,I don't switch bathrooms no matter in what gender I am. :)
Yep, totally normal, I feel basically the same, so do so many others. I personally don't bother with labelling it, but those who do generally call themselves genderfluid. It's nothing to worry about, just keep on being yourself and try not to get caught up defining yourself in any particular way.
Very true. Don't bother with the conservative haters. They are ignorant and trump supporters.
It's not all Christians that are like that, just the lying Trump Conservatives that are ruining our country. I'm a Christian myself and I feel like those people are damaging the image that Christianity has left in this country when we're supposed to really help each other out in tough times and come together for the better.
I can't believe you got negative karma for that. What the hell. I gave you a thumbs up. And I agree.
Thanks. :) At least this stopped me from thinking I should get a psychologist.
Life constantly evolves and so does our interpretation of it. This includes the way we view ourselves and what is considered "normal" in society. This is an inevitable fact of life, and those who resist it are in for a life of anger and frustration. We should embrace a constantly evolving perspective of ourselves and the universe. The moment we stop entertaining new ideas we're regressing and falling into a backwards slide of ignorance and fear.
The solution is easy. Have one drawer full of girls underwear and another full of boys underwear. You choose which you are in the mood for. Your other clothes depend on what society is in the mood for which would be your biological gender.
there is 3 sexes, female, male, and intersex, based on what you were born with, but gender is a mental concept based on how you feel you balance your masculinity/femininity. there are 3 sexes, and many, many genders.
Masculinity and Femininity are manufactured constructs and I think it's ridiculous to believe in "gender fluidity" based on the fact that someone feels stereotypically masculine one day and ditto feminine another, or even during the same day.
Last night I did some clothes mending and enjoyed it and today I need to split some firewood but I don't feel the first thing made me "feminine" and the second one "masculine", I was just doing what I was doing without any labels.
It's not usually that they feel "masculine" one day and "feminine" another day, it's that they genuinely feel they should be a male sometimes and other times feel that they should be a female. They're not like "oh I want to wear a dress, guess I'm a girl today."
I'm a male, but I'm extremely feminine most of the time. Doesn't mean I'm a girl, and I understand that. But some "men" are extremely feminine and feel that they should not have male genitalia and genuinely hate their bodies, who identify as female.
I see where you're coming from, but intersex is an incredibly rare birth defect. It's not like it's a significant number of people to where you can say sex isn't a dichotomy in the big picture. For the vast majority of people, it's a dick or a vagina end of story.
I don't think there's many genders either. You can be on a sliding scale of masculinity and femininity, but that's not a new gender. Personally I'm a somewhat feminine man, but having some feminine tastes does not make me "part woman", or automatically transgender when I don't have gender dysphoria. I am physically male, I live my life as a male and I will die as a male.
As I've said elsewhere on this thread: masculinity and femininity are artificial social constructs and the sooner we all get over these antiquated concepts the better it will be.
No, they're biological reality. There's penis or vagina, XY or XX. Research has shown that male babies are predominantly attracted to boy toys and female babies to dolls.
I don't understand how a 70 year old can have absorbed so much hogwash from a liberal college's women studies course like the millennialist are all exposed to.
Actually I've never done a women's studies and what research are you talking about? Babies don't show preferences for gendered toys until they're taught to.
You don't seem to know the difference between biological gender - female or male and rarely intersex - and femininity and masculinity, which don't necessarily correlate with physical gender.
I guess that's biological sex..no worries I know that one.I mean gender..identity. To be honest I'm biologically fem but I liked both girl and boy toys when I was little(and my parents allowed me to have both),plus my parents make me wear both girl and boy clothes(except the skirt). I grew up feeling neutral on my gender and I was used calling myself an either son or daughter of my parents because of it and my parents doesn't seem to mind. These things seemed to make me...not straight in a literal personality and identity sense. Until now my clothes are still mixed,not just with jeans(I know girls wear them) but actually pants and shorts and shirts for guys itself,and I've already been used to it(still no skirts though,mom won't allow me wtf). Plus I ended up a pan/genderblind all over the years(or call it bisexual if that's what you wish). And I get awkward with my own genitals at times,and I'm sure straight males and females don't usually experience that. Now how will you explain that? I'm asking this cause I think you can at least give answer without being angry.
I agree with your below comment about the ridiculousness of arbitrarily attaching gender roles and "feelings" of gender onto everything. But with that said, personally I don't think gender roles are totally socially constructed.
Aspects of it are for sure, like women wearing pink and men wearing blue, make-up and skirts etc. But I think it is real to say there is a GENERAL way men are more likely to behave and a GENERAL way women are more likely to behave, based on thousands of years of evolution and epigenetics. That's not to say there aren't anomalies, I'm one and that's ok, but most people do comfortably fit (more or less anyway) into the gender roles of their birth sex without any problem.
I think the "problem", if there is one, is the absolute enforcement of strict gender roles onto people. Nobody should be forced or pressured to behave a certain way because of their birth sex, just because most people of my birth sex follow a certain "rule" it doesn't mean I should have to.
People fit into gender roles because that is what we are taught to do and that's not without problems for anyone who doesn't conform with the expected gender stereotypes and for society in general.
Given that stereotyping begins so early in life, sometimes even before birth, there's no way of knowing for sure if gender artificial constructs, but I'd love to see a society without those expectations - then we'd know for sure.
No it won't be better. I like men to be men and women to be women.
I was in the Apple store today and the men looked like girls and the girls looked like guys and you know what. I considered them all freaks and really started to hate my generation.
Btw none of them were attractive to me.
Incredibly rare... a.k.a 1 in 50. Redheads are much rarer.
Sure, ambigious genitalia at birth only happen one in a 1500 birts, but intersex means anything that isn't either long phallus, no vag, testicles, no ovaries or uterus, xy or short phallus (clit), vag, ovaries and uterus, no testicles, xx. People can learn they are intersex during puberty or even later in life, when they have no period or grow a beard/balls never drop/have an ultrasound/have a dna test. Some are only found out post-mortem to be intersex.
Is your definition of male and female "XY or XX in EVERY cell"? Well, then there is a huge amount of people on the continuum of sex. 1 in 8 people is a tetragametic chimera, which means their body developed from two zygotes (nonidentical twins smushed into a single body). Many people don't know, as it sometimes requires checking different tissues. And there is roughly 50% chance of the zygotes being diffferent sexes...
http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/620/434/f9e.gif
TLDR: Depending on definition of male, female and intersex, intersex people are between 1 in 1500 to 1 in 16 of human population.
Yes but even if it's the maximum 1/16 that's still a pretty small minority, and most of those people pass as one sex or the other. No I'm not an "XX or XY" fundamentalist, if you still otherwise pass as totally male or totally female and never find out you are intersex then you are as good as not.
Most people are unambiguously male or female, even if they are not "100%" then they are enough that they pass. The few people who are physically ambiguous are such a vanishingly small proportion of the population that they as good as don't exist in the big picture. It's also worth saying, that most of the people who actually are born with ambiguous genitals still pick either of the "traditional" genders to live as too, based on what they're closer to.
Why do liberals steal words and redefine them. Is it because you aren't smart enough to introduce new words to describe your crazy bullshit.
No, it's crazy and nonsensical. People create a lot of bullshit such as gender fluidity. You can't change your gender, remember, there are only two and you get one without the possibility to choose. There are very rare exceptions in which malfunctions occur, but that's out of the discussion. Everybody has moments in life when they feel tougher, or more sensitive, which results into different attitudes. It is not feminine to be a sensitive male and it is not masculine to be a tough female. Also many people do this for attention or for the fact that they can't interact easily with others (e.g. a male may find it hard to talk to females so he may have a "gay-phase" just because he finds it easier to talk to other males or he may even pretend he's a female to interact easier). If you change your gender everyday because you change your mood it means that you are very unstable and mentally unbalanced. Everybody got mood swings. "Changing" your gender means that you refuse to adapt and solve your daily problems and this leads to an incapacity to have a normal life in which you have to deal with a lot more shit than mood swings (threat, injustice, crimes, even war in some areas). If you want a family, you can't pretend the next day that you are single just because you feel you want that. If you want to run a business, you can't stop in the middle saying you feel like you want to be free and happy. If you keep hiding from your problems you will be unable to achieve anything serious in your life. Before thinking about changing your gender, ask yourself if this is not just an escape, if it is just to comfort you mentally or not, if it is to avoid bullying or attacks. If there is a cause in the external environment that leads to this, then you know it's a wrong move and you avoid dealing with the world. You can't spend your life in a crystal ball, get used to it. My advice: Stick to your natural gender and forget the shit people do. And don't go to get brain therapy, that's a sign of your incapacity to solve your problems. Do that yourself.
I know how to cope with problems and at this moment I seem fine with my life,having good financial status and being contented with the things I achieve. And I got no problems switching genders everyday,for I'm used to it and at least I can make my parents wishes come true: For mom to have a graceful daughter and for dad to have a son he can teach everything he knew(without them knowing I literally switch genders of course),it's just that when I see other people sticking with their biological genders I feel out of place most of the time and giving myself a 'label' is hard. For the mental state,I am very stable, and had personality development lessons from school which I learned a lot from. :)
You shouldn't switch just because your parents want you to or because they like it. I don't know, it sounds crazy. To me, this thing with gender changing or inventing more genders is a complete madness. You are only what nature says you are. Your genitals define your gender. It's up to you anyway. I would never do that if I were you. My mum always wanted a girl and she kept living in her world trying to get me to act more feminine. It never worked and she has to cope with this. I will always be what my chromosomes say I am. A man.
Sometimes in these situations you should talk to your parents about this issue or a doctor, its not that serious but if it keeps bothering you you might want to get checked out.
There's "male" and "female" and a very small number (relative to the human species as a whole) born "intersex". Everything else is queer activist PC bullshit. With no basis in physical reality.
PS cause I can't edit my post:
I know the difference of sexual orientation and gender identity/gender,and also biological sex,and had my understanding of them all so no need to argue about it I guess. For clarification,I'm keeping my biological sex secret. For my sexual orientation,I've always known I'm pansexual(now don't argue about that again,it exists,it's my sexuality and not yours to take). The only thing I ask is the shifting of my gender/gender identity and it has nothing to do with stereotypes,Trump,or anything else off-topic. Well now at least it's now becoming more clearer to me as days pass but I'm just worried that you guys are arguing because of my question.
PS For the sake of my own courage,I'm the one who posted this question.If some of you think I'm making this all up then you're wrong. I posted this because I found this as,at least a good way to answer this question about myself having gender shifts,at least by more than one person so I can have an idea of what to do about it,whether I should practically push myself in staying up with my biological gender or just let the gender shifts take place,without messing up my whole life of course. But I'm trying to keep with the standards for my biological gender,for convenience and to avoid questions. But I feel like betraying myself when I push too hard to keep it this way,to be honest. I just want to know if this is normal,and what should I call it. That's all. I'm not trying to make arguments,I'm just looking for answers.
I feel envious of the ones that can say:"stick to your biological gender".It might sound easy for you cause you are contented with what you have between your legs(which is good) but it's so hard for me,I tried many times but my body is rebelling against me. I'm starting to hate myself for it now while trying not to screw my life because of it. To be honest,I clearly don't want this. Growing up in a community where things like this are not understandable,it's hard. I swear,I just want to be like the other people out there,contented with what nature gave them and enhancing it. I want to be like that,rather than being in this situation,because it sucks(especially because no one around me seems to be trustworthy enough to get asked about it without even judging me or my mental state). But I couldn't. Every time I try to even just,stay with my natural gender for a day(even when I feel otherwise),it gets really,really messed up and I end up either accidentally acting the opposite or something worse. You might say it isn't true but it is. It feels so weird. But at least I feel comfortable when I'm alone(that's why I choose to be alone at most times). I looked up that terms 'genderfluid' and 'genderflux' in the internet and on a dictionary by the way,and yeah,that 'genderfluid' term was so me. I never thought such gender exist. And to lighten the atmosphere,I want you guys to know that..I like the genderfluid flag color the time I saw it.Sweet.
Gender fluidity isn't normal sorry. It's an invention of liberalism, for what purpose I don't know. I'm a bisexual by the way, but I always feel like a woman.
The chemistry of the body doesn't change that drastically from day to day. You've been tricked into thinking this is cool.
Can someone explain to me what gender-fluid is and what is determined as "masculine" and "feminine" behaviours that are switched between?
Gender fluidity is a term for people who feel like their gender is say, a sliding scale. One day, they may feel male, one day, female, and one day something different. It's pretty common, moreso than you think.
To be honest I'm skeptical towards people saying they have this issue because I've noticed that only until it had become trendy in certain spheres of society that a lot of people said they identify as it.
I get the whole, "I'm asexual" scenario from it, that yes there are people that are asexual but so-many said it to be trendy.
I'd also like to ask how does someone "feel" like a biological construct? Do you mean male and female or man and woman? I hear there's a difference so I just want to make sure we are on the same page.
If it's a case of them feeling like the view of what a man and woman is, do you not think that this idea of genderfluid relies heavily on the idea that the stereotypes of men and women are generally true? Because who factors what it is to feel "like a man" or "woman".
If I say, I feel like a man, I feel strong and confident.
Then a woman says, "I feel like a woman, I feel strong and confident", then is one of them gender fluid even if neither believe they are?
I guess my point is here is that in order to be gender fluid we have to separate men and women and restrict them to stereotypes in order for this gender fluid concept to exist, which is sonething I don't feel too comfortable with.
It's hard to ask something about oneself when no one else seems to be talking about it,that's why. And I have no idea it was trendy nowadays. I don't hang out on the internet too much(except when I need to),and the sites I visit are limited,so I have no idea about it being trendy.
And yeah,putting men and women in stereotypes is not something uncomfortable to be dealt with,so I understand you. Mine doesn't had to do anything with confidence. It ranges from my own body,clothing and other personal stuff to the gender of the people I suddenly look and give a wondered stare at,and other things which might seem weird and technically different to other people of my biological gender,but are good and normal to opposite genders. Again,I had no idea it was a trend,and I don't care about that trend thing. :)
Maybe I can simplify it. Haveyou heard of K-pop? Its like a Korean genre of music/style, I think.
They wear make up and come off as girly, they wear make up, stereotypical girly gestures, etc. Would being gender-fluid be similar to a metalhead dressing and acting like a metal head and then next day deciding to portray themselves as K-Pop?
If so then I have an idea of what it may be like. I've said this before and if I can remember people weren't too happy, just know that no offense is intended.
Could it be that being gender fluid is just the changing of style and gesture at the expense of gender norms? I remember when I was younger I'd like to change my style and with every change of style I'd change my gestures, the way I speak, the phrases I'd say, right down to the way I walked, sometimes my tone of voice.
Would that be similar to being gender-fluid with the exception of not staying in the lane of male styles and personalities?
Because if that's the case it sounds more simple than I hear people making it, that it can be simplified to just being somebody having a variety of different styles and each individual style an individual decides to have that day, a different set or social aspects such as gestures accompany them?
If so, I don't see a problem with the concept of gender-fluid, nor do I see any valid reason to have an issue with it.
Gender fluid is a bullshit notion made up by liberals to further compartmentalize people to promote their goals of pitting us against each other. They are in the business of segmenting the population under the guise of diversity. It's really a smokescreen to foster hatred and divisivness so that you are distracted from what they are actually doing. Enslaving you with exhorbidant taxes and robbing you blind.
It's more than a liberal thing...Gender fluidity has been around much longer than the Democratic Party. Look, I think you should be able to just call yourself what you want and just let people deal with it. Live and learn, as they say. Because, really, the only reason being trans or whatever is a big deal is because people make it a big deal.
I'd say I'm in the middle of the political spectrum, but dude. You can't just pin everything on liberals. I get it, you don't like them, but both parties have their goods and bads. It's just about choosing what you think is right. Personally? I could care less about politics (I do vote, though, and I voted Trump. Just believed in his capability and gumption more.) He who says the nation is being divided, should be careful about not being the knife that does divide us.
I dont care what people call themselves. I care that it's shoved down our throats and that they change the meaning of words. I dont want to have to relearn the english language every 10 years or qualify every statement to appease some poor schlep who may take offense. Got a dick, your sex/gender is male. Got a pussy, your sex/gender is female. Got both? Hermaphrodite.
Everyone has tits so no special classification if you have a dick and grow bigger ones cause you take hormones or have implants. Still a male.
Get it. Good.
Identity / expression is different to gender. How you feel about gender roles in society don't necessarily determine your gender. In other words, being androgynous doesn't mean you have more than one gender, defying gender roles doesn't create a new gender, there are not set ways for either gender to be when it comes to identity and/or expression.
Don't listen to the people teaching you about 'fluid genders' and non-binary genders', they mean well but this is false information.
Instead, focus on how your mind reacts to your body, as that is what determines your gender. Do you experience gender dysphoria?
It's okay to be confused, this shit is confusing, but please don't let the internet confuse you even more.
Gender dysphoria?Uhm..yeah I do,at moment.But not all the time.I experience it right now while typing,actually.Though I know it will disappear later.
Overall how do you feel about your body? Do you feel that it should be more like the opposite sex?
You said that this feeling disappears sometimes, is there anything you can think of that might trigger these feelings either coming or going? Whether that be looking at yourself in the mirror, being referred to as your biological sex, gender stereotypes etc.
It comes and goes unexpectedly. When it does,I prefer not to look myself in the mirror. Or before, I change clothes(now what I do is just wear a unisex clothing so whatever gender comes off it won't give me uncomfortable feelings). Sometimes I like being referred as 'she'. But at times I'm not fine with it,and liked having that 'he' pronoun. Then at other times I don't want to be referred as any gender at all,or I want to be both. All of these can happen in a day,unexpectedly.