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Theres nothing i want more than to see my friends and hang out and party again, even have a boyfriend. But the thought of it terrifies me. When a friend wants to see me or when a boy likes me or hits on me I want to cry and I feel really depressed. So now i avoid all social contact. I wish I was different.
Normal.
Most people with social anxiety disorders don't want them.
Don't confuse the disorder for a dislike of social interaction. That's something completely different.
This exact thing happens to me. Last year, a guy admitted he liked me. And then, I started bawling my eyes out! And I cried myself to sleep every night D: It sucked. And again, it happened when a guy asked me out this year...I cried sooooo much.
I know exactly what you mean...I have social anxiety disorder...an even though there're times when I don't won't to be alone, when i'm with people, (especially people I don't know in a place i've never been) the first thing I want to do is go somewhere an be alone...It's like I start feeling scared or something an I sink inside myself...people think I'm wired cuz i don't talk an it's mainly cause of that and i'm trying everything I can to not shaking an twitching like someone who just quit taking drugs cold-turkey.
So like angel in the glass dress said, don't confuse it with being anti-social.
I sometimes have social anxiety too. I avoid some social situations because of nerves which is a bad habit; once you start walking that path, it's that much more difficult to go back. You lose connections with old friends and making new friends becomes more difficult.
It is something you can overcome though; confidence and experience, as well as being able to keep things in perspective are all tools to help you and me get passed these kind of fears. Realise how little most of it matters and that if you make mistakes you can start again and you're on the right track.
Optimism, confidence, rational thinking and self-love. The more often you take that leap of faith in yourself and say 'yes' to situations you want to run and hide from, the more often you realise how easy it is, and that fear fades away. Say yes!
(I sound like a self-help book)