Is it normal to have this kind of thought pattern regarding marijuana?
I'm not entirely sure what i think or what i really want and i have frequent thoughts getting back to smoking marijuana despite getting not necessarily pleasant or even scary highs with potent skunk variety strains especially, and everytime i have a bad experience i question myself every second of the high "Why would i of have smoked such a thing?" and when it's over i rationalize to smoke again "Maybe it wasn't as bad as i thought it was, and it may be better next time" despite getting flash backs for brief duration of time with pounding heart when i'm reminded of terrible dysphoric and hallucinogenic, depersonalized experiences. Except when i smoked actual weed for first time aged 18 and had a good experience except that it was trippy as well. Though i smoke no longer at all and sort of getting over denial but thoughts are still there.