Is it normal to have thoughts and feelings like this?

6 Comments

Hi. I just joined this website. And it seems decent so I'm going to tell you some things. Every day I feel empty. Like theres just nothing inside me. Now I know this isn't too unusual in this day and age. But it's gotten worse. It started when I was 9. I've always felt unhappy. Even when I got the things that I wanted. It didn't mean anything. I've never had a lot of friends growing up. But when I did I hated them one minute and liked them the next. But I always ended up pushing them away. I feel like I have no one to blame but myself. As for my Mother, she is the reason I feel so much hate. And anger. I really do hate her. But I cant do a thing. I also have these recurring thoughts. Of death. Death for myself and others. Mostly for my own satisfaction. And to take out my anger. I never yell or I try not to. I barely cry but I am sensitive. I dont truly know why I feel this way. I just feel such a strong compulsion to kill. I've started drinking more as well. I've read about it, and I suspect that I may have BPD. I tried to talk to my Mom about it and she just dismissed it. Tell me what you think.

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Comments ( 6 )
  • rockyrocks
    11 months ago

    no this isn't normal, and i feel like the fact that you have homicidal thoughts probably should be the biggest tell

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  • Tinybird
    11 months ago

    BPD

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    • Tinybird
      11 months ago

      I wrote that before I read in your post you suspected you had BPD

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  • normal-rebellious
    11 months ago

    Yes this is usual to say the least, quite common, considering lots of people hate, feel unhappy and down, and push people away. It's not ordinary, as you can see in its normalcy people usually act this way, I think you owe yourself something to believe in, like a religion perhaps, something to give your life meaning. I think you should love your mum, she's only alive for so long, so hug her, kiss her, and make her a drink. Be nice to your mum, supposing you can come up with an answer yourself, should you hate, or should you stop hating? I think you know the answer, and feeling unhappy the answer's staring you in the face, you should pack your bags and move out.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    11 months ago

    Thank you. Yeah my Mom told me the exact same thing. But the thing is I cant feel happy. No matter what I do I cant be happy. I'm just extremely depressed and I cant get out of it. Thank you anyway.

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  • DADNSCAL
    11 months ago

    You need to start by telling your doctor about it asap. He can refer to to mental health. There's several concerning issues in your post.

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