Is it normal to have thoughts like i do

67% Normal
13 Comments

my wife had affair number of years ago we were young and it hurt meso much . we parted but fewyears later we got back together.i do forgive her and i do love her but i still cant understand why . none of it makes sense . she knew i loved her i was very good to her .she had a good home she had what any person woud want and thats not me saying this its everyone . im very laid back im good looking as im told .but she had affair with a guy that very rough looking is not nice person is in and out of prison doesnt work is a bully and messes with drugs and also it turns out hits women and no body likes him .so why would a girl that has it all give it up for someone like that . cant get my head around it . i asked her and all im told is she was stupit and young .then i even thought it must been outstanding in bed and she finally admitted that it was far from that .so why i keep asking .i asked what didi do wrong and was told i was always working and she got bored and it felt exciting .well i could understand that if the person was good looking and had something exciting going for them but he didnt . anyonei talk to her family ;her friends all say same none coud understand why and none liked him . so why woud u hurt the person that loved u and was good to u so much for someone like that .puzzles me even after all these years .anytime i try talk about it im told why i living in the past that she put it behind her and moved on why dont i . but i think i have moved on i forgave her and love her . but just cant understand why maybe im wrong that it bothers me so much .

Voting Results
67% Normal
Based on 6 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • MonteMetcalfe
    1 year ago

    It seems like at this point you're either going to have to accept it as is, or move on to another relationship with someone else.

    It's all up to you what you're willing to do.

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  • arbg
    1 year ago

    It sounds to me like you need a good relationship therapist

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  • Tommythecaty
    1 year ago

    The problem isn’t that you can’t understand the persons actions, it’s that you want to understand them.

    It doesn’t matter why, go and get a new wife. That is honestly all the thought the matter deserves.

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  • Bennybro1
    1 year ago

    it also happened to me but u might forgive but never ftruth is no matter how much u love them it never be the sameorget .

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  • RoseIsabella
    1 year ago

    Maybe you are married to a trifflin' ass bitch who belongs to the streets. She's a skank.

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  • howaminotmyself
    1 year ago

    Maybe she doesn't understand either. Perhaps it was self sabotage on her part and she is insecure about why you chose her. People do all sorts of crazy things when they hate themselves.

    And are you sure it's her you love, or the idea of it?

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  • driedroses
    1 year ago

    If you can't move on, maybe you should break up. You both deserve to be happy.

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    • RoseIsabella
      1 year ago

      I don't think she deserves to be happy.

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  • OSCARUK
    1 year ago

    Maybe she got caught up in a moment, felt flattered by attention, maybe she felt a little trapped by the whole marriage thing and needed a mini breakout.. Who knows.
    But you stayed with her and you say that you have forgiven her, im sorry to say this but if you had truly forgiven her then you wouldn't keep punishing her by regurgitating the story searching for answers to questions that you should either have asked years ago or got answers that you doubted or couldn't accept.

    None of us are perfect even if we think we are and even the tiniest patch of grass can look greener from the other side, she saw and lay on the grass but came back to you.

    Be grateful that she did, if at the time, she could have foreseen the mental distress you are bestowing on her by going over and over things many years later, she should have run a mile and left you back then.

    Ok she made a mistake, you should have moved on and the fact that you keep throwing this in her face says more about you than it does about her. Forgive, forget and move on or get out and both of you rebuild your lives.

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    • Bennybro1
      1 year ago

      100% right

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  • ChrissySnow
    1 year ago

    OP, she already told you, "She got bored and it felt exciting." There is a reason "bad boys" get all the luck; they dare to ask or just go for it. Get over it or she'll dump you. There is no way she is going to let you just hold it over her head forever. She was bored when an opportunity for some laughs popped up and made a 'bad' choice. If I were her, I'd feel like my only oops was confessing it to you! Next time I slip up on anything I'm denying it to you.

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    • RoseIsabella
      1 year ago

      I think OP should get over his skank-ho wife, and dump her. She is a piece of human garbage.

      I do agree with you that she got bored, and that's why she cheated, but that's the reason it happened, not an excuse for it happening.

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  • Orphan
    1 year ago

    I cant understand why your wife sleeping with someone else hurts you. I've always had open relationships and it felt very fulfilling for the couple. I mean as long as we knew when, where and with what kind of person we were doing it with.
    So if u want my opinion, I'd just straight up tell her that we should sleep around. Maybe if the both of u are doing it it wouldnt bother u anymore

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