Is it normal to just want to be a simple house wife?

91% Normal
10 Comments

I really would like to be a fashion designer or an artist later in life but right now my life doesn't seem likely to head that way. I dropped out of high school in the middle of year 11 due to personal reasons (TW; Suicide attempt and mental health reasons), and I don't feel good enough for Uni or college or anything. The only thing keeping me going right now is my dream to have a future with my boyfriend. I don't believe I can make it as a fashion designer or artist right now and I wouldn't mind a single bit if I was just the house wife, cleaning the house and looking after the kids while my husband goes off to his job. (Should I focus on being the best house wife I can be or take a chance and try to be a fashion designer/Artist?) Also is it normal to have this type of fantasy?

Voting Results
91% Normal
Based on 23 votes (21 yes)
Feeling Suicidal?
We couldn't help but notice that you might be asking about things related to suicide...
If that's not the case, please ignore this message.
But, if that is the case, please, please, please call this hotline and talk to someone about it. Or, visit one of these websites and get some help.
Unfortunately IIN isn't the best place for you to be asking about this. Check out the above websites or call one of the hotlines instead. They can help. Really. We know what we're talking about. Call. Do it. Please.
Remember that everything gets better with time.
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 10 )
  • SwickDinging
    3 years ago

    There's nothing wrong with being a housewife if that is what you really want, but from your post it sounds like you're choosing this because you feel incapable of doing other things that you want more. In this case, I would focus on self improvement via education, work etc. If you become a housewife simply because you don't feel good enough to follow your dreams then you will ultimately feel unfulfilled, and may find yourself reaching a certain age where you've missed a lot of chances because you were too afraid to push yourself.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    4
    4
  • DeletThis
    3 years ago

    Of course. "Housewife" requires only the basic levels of normal adult responsibilities for running a household. Both sexes should have this ability even with a job, and if they don't I would say that's a red flag in and of itself. The low self esteem you mention here is more concerning. Get yourself mentally stable before you even consider a relationship, and see if you still feel this way once you've reached mental maturity (age 25+)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
      -
    • SwickDinging
      3 years ago

      Not strictly true when children are involved - a woman who has a fulltime job is not doing everything that a housewife would do AND working, because she is outsourcing the childcare, and possibly cleaning and other chores, to other people. When she is in work, she is just working, not working AND being a housewife.

      I'm not saying there is anything wrong with this, and once I think my youngest is ready for daycare I will be heading back to work, but I will only have the ability to do that because I am paying somebody else a hefty sum of money to do the work that I am doing right now. It's actually a hell of a lot of work to be a stay home parent to young children. I found working fulltime to be much less tiring.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
        -
      • DeletThis
        3 years ago

        I thought that housewife mainly refers to keeping house. if there are kids that would be 'stay at home mom'

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • SwickDinging
          3 years ago

          I think it depends who you ask. I always thought the same as you, but then I moved to Australia and some people here seem to use the terms interchangeably.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          1
          1
    • patheticferret
      3 years ago

      I am in the process right now of becoming more mentally stable, I have a psychologist and I'm taking medication. Also I can't just leave him right now, I love him so much, we have promised ourselves to each other and he's the reason I'm still alive today. Plus he's not having a great time right now so it would be unthinkable of me to leave him now. Also by the time I'm 25+ I would've already chosen what to do with my life as my parents won't just let me do nothing with my life until then. :/ I feel stuck

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • SkullsNRoses
    3 years ago

    You sound like you’re only doing this because you feel like you don’t deserve your own dreams rather than because it’s actually what you want.

    Society and schools love to tell young people that they will amount to nothing, I was told I wouldn’t be able to go to uni or get a job in the publishing industry, both of which turned out to be bullshit. You’re too young to give up on your future just because your first choice of a career “seems unlikely”, there are jobs in the art and fashion industries other than artist and designer.

    The world of work is scary but by shying away from establishing financial independence you will create a lot of problems for yourself down the line, regardless of whether you stay with your boyfriend.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • patheticferret
      3 years ago

      I don't feel like I really deserve my dreams but I also like the idea of being a house wife. Don't get me wrong, being my own strong, creative type, independent women would be amazing but I also want to be the best mother and wife I could be and make my family's lives amazing. Also personally, I would want one or more parent to be free to look after the kids at all times because if my boyfriend ends up with the job he wants (teacher or archeologist, paleontologist etc) Idk how much time he would have to be at home, also I know how tired and stressed he can get sometimes so I want to be there for him (and if I'm also tired and stressed that is not a good combo for anyone)

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • SkullsNRoses
        3 years ago

        The sensible thing to do is work on your career now, then you will have the option to give it up when you’re older if you want to. Don’t sabotage your financial independence.

        I do feel you’re romanticising being a stay at home mum a bit, thinking you won’t be “tired and stressed” after a long day looking after a toddler is not realistic. Children are exhausting.

        Is it possible that you think of being financially taken care of as an “opt out” of adult responsibilities and an excuse not to try to accomplish your own goals?

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • LloydAsher
    3 years ago

    Well you are blatantly jumping ship from your projected life destination. But that isnt bad... hey if you have a true motherly wish and are willing to start they cycle without much personal freetime in the next 6 years until school starts for them suckers.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0