Is it normal to keep up memorial items of what i've lost?

72% Normal
17 Comments

I never thought into this much tell now. I have lost many things and people important to me. One way I have coped with these events is by keeping out things that remind me of good times. I have up pictures of dead friends and family on the wall, I have up paintings my ex girlfriend painted, many of us. I have graves in the yard of dead pets. I have other items that remind me of what and who ive lost. I have posters up of my old band that failed. These things are what are most important to me. In a way they make me feel ok but at the same time i wonder if it keeps me from moving on. I already am not able to forget things as it is and cannot block out things the way most people can. Many of the things i care about are gone and the memories are what i have left. I also have no intrest in anything or anyone new. I want the old times back and even though i know it is unreasonable, i have not been able to force myself to forget.

Voting Results
72% Normal
Based on 36 votes (26 yes)
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Comments ( 17 )
  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    I log into an old email account once a month because it contains countless emails from someone from my past who's gone for good. Logging in prevents the account from being deactivated.

    Electronic memorial.

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  • Captain_Kegstand
    9 years ago

    I have a funeral announcement of a good friend hanging on my fridge, and the funeral was two years ago. It makes me happy when I see it and remember all of those things. The only thing I would caution you on, is the ex girlfriend thing. Holding on to loved ones lost is normal, but holding on to ex girlfriends (even if you loved them) can ruin future chances to be truly happy with somebody else.

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  • kingofcarrotflowers
    9 years ago

    I used to keep a card with something meaningful written inside from my ex ( big mistake ) A picture of my dog who died at the age of 14. Thats it. I don't like being reminded of the past as things were well then. I dont keep anything, even going on facebook brings me down, certain film do the same, i've just finished watching stand by me and its that one line " they gradually became just another face in the hallway, that happens in life "

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  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    I have the ashes of two cats I lost in two urns. I have a copy of a love letter my grandfather wrote my grandmother when he was around 18 or 19 years old. I also have a baby shower invitation from a friend who died in childbirth. Just to name a few.

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    • Holzman_67
      9 years ago

      Oh man that love letter must be so precious in the context of your family. What an amazing, beautiful thing to have obtained :)

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      • RoseIsabella
        9 years ago

        Thanks, it's very precious to me! It's actually a color copy of the original which I placed in her urn as per her wishes after she passed away.

        Do you have any special items that you keep in memorial of those you've lost?

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        • Holzman_67
          9 years ago

          Oh yeah sure.
          I have a framed photograph of my grandfather sitting at his typewriter in Egypt in 1938.
          I have a book of songs and poetry that my childhood friend Stuart Groen wrote and passed on to me before he died.
          you can see a video recording of him playing one of his songs here
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BP2-dAH2qZQ

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          • RoseIsabella
            9 years ago

            That guy is GREAT; So much talent! I can picture myself listening to it on a car radio, it's a very beautiful song. It's so alive, full of passion and longing.
            :-)
            I don't even know him and I wish he was still around!
            :-'(

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            • Holzman_67
              9 years ago

              Yeah heaps of talent. What was so awe inspiring about Stuart was he was equal parts talent and productivity, what he created in his short life was quite astounding. He had written a trilogy of fantasy books, was halfway through writing the last one when he died. He played in a local Sydney band called Archives he wrote songs and poetry wherever he went, on napkins, on paper bags, little scraps of paper. I have a file on my computer of songs he recorded solo and they are just brilliant. As a creative person myself he was a very inspiring force in my life and he continues to be post death.

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  • secretme12
    9 years ago

    i think that's totally normal! i lost my best friend/exhusband awhile ago and i have little mementos from him and his picture hangs on my wall next to my grandma that passed away too. i like having these things to remind me of all the good time's we've spent together. but you shouldn't let those memories affect your future. i know it could of for me when my ex passed away i just didn't let it. he was my best friend and as much as we loved each other i know he'd wanted me happy. so you can keep these things just don't let it hold you back from living your life and being happy.

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  • noid
    9 years ago

    You sound like my friend who lives in the past and present and is unable to plan and make life changes to bring about a better future.

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  • boogie592
    9 years ago

    Nothing wrong with keeping stuff that mean something to u... Just be careful cause lots of people become Hoarders & that's not good!

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  • college
    9 years ago

    This is actually quite normal, it really only becomes a problem when you start to hoard mementos, that can stop you from continuing on with your life. I lost my sibling last year and I have quite a few things of his as well, so you're definitely not alone in keeping keepsakes.

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