Is it normal to let fear rule your life like this?

64% Normal
6 Comments

I've not had an entirely pleasant history with relationships. Molested at a young age, and had a string of losers, users and abusers for a good portion of my teenage years. And there have been men who decided to use my body in a way that wasn't of my choosing.

The problem is thus... How do you get over a fear of men so powerful you want to run if a guy lays a hand on you, even with no harm intended? When it makes you reclusive and afraid to leave the house because you never know what's going to happen..

I don't want to live with this fear for the rest of my life, but it seems almost logical because it's my survival instincts kicking in to keep me safe...

How do you find the courage to walk out the door when you never know what may be waiting for you, or get close to anyone when it could be the most seemingly harmless who does something bad..?

Voting Results
64% Normal
Based on 44 votes (28 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • inuteronevermind
    12 years ago

    Yes, if you were abused, of corse it is normal. But there are not very many people out there like that. At all. You just gotta be careful and choosey. Having a man, if you do it right, is the best part of life. So many men would never let anything happen happen to you. Ever. They would protect you if it costs them their own life. Take it slow. You will be happy, I promise.
    Good luck.
    <3

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  • shade_ilmaendu
    12 years ago

    Thank you guys so much for the kind words, it really means a lot and makes me feel a little better about posting this here. (and sorry I'm replying so late) it's definately a long process starting to get over everything, but I know that my road is leading out.

    Tylee, why or how are you stuck? I'd like to think there is always a way out, even if you can't really see where youre going, and you've been so kind, I wish I could do something to try to help you.. :/

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  • TyLee
    12 years ago

    I feel really really bad for you! I was just thinking about this this morning actually. I have been abused by my bf for seven years,I have had other boyfriends who disrespected me and my body and forced me to do things that I said no to, not to mention I was violently raped and beaten with an audience when I was 18. This morning I was thinking how can I get over all of that!? It is so emotionally painful. The good news for you is that you are out of the situation. Not like me I'm stuck with a sexually abusive bf. You are free and you need to take advantage of that! You need to take control of your life. I remember after I was raped I didn't want to go outside at all. If anyone looked at me I would feel disgusting and cry. You need to take time to heal but doing things for yourself can help that. Instead of focusing on relationships focus on taking care of yourself. Do things that fulfill you!! I truly do feel horrible for you and I hope that you can find the courage to move on and be strong, confident, and happy! Good luck!

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    • Crudhouse
      12 years ago

      I hope you're getting help yourself. Horrible what you went through and what you're going through.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Aww... I'm so sorry. (

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    No, it's not normal.
    Remember, man: you are dead, or will be dead soon.
    You have no reasons to fear, all, that was, happened, - you're already dead.
    You have an aim, target, who killed your life.
    All are aims, except your parents.
    I am your aim too.
    You should subdue man who tried to treat you, he is your main aim. Subdue him in any case. He is the target.
    Like me.
    Remember, man.

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