Is it normal to live nonexistently?

49% Normal
11 Comments

So, most of my life I have been alone. In part because of a slew of serious family issues, but also at times by choice. I have always thought I wanted to fall in love, but I often come to realize I hate people the more that I get to know them. People always like me, but I find a reason to keep them out of my life, usually because I feel more mature. I'm now 25. I had friends about a year and a half ago, but stopped talking to them because they would sleep around with various women and talk like they are 18 years old still and I don't want that as part of my life.

A few months ago, my grandpa and his wife died and my whole family was together at the hospital. My mom cried non-stop for four days as we basically waited for my grandpa to die. I wanted to, but really didn't feel any sympathy for my mom and only consoled her because I had to. I also didn't really feel effected in knowing my grandpa was about to die.

I withdraw from socializing in most scenarios because it's overwhelming. Unless I find a woman I think is the right one, I really never usually think about anyone when I wonder who I care about. Time is just rolling along and I spend every day alone. I refuse to forgive people and I think Jesus is stupid. The only things I care about are getting rich and eating a lot of sushi and traveling the world. I would love to play baseball, and I'm really good at it, but I don't want to have teammates.

I think everyone is spoiled. I enjoy floating through life and not connecting with people or getting close to them. I like being around people, I just don't want them to talk to me.

As you can imagine, this really effects my career and work. I'm incredibly smart and talented and apparently good looking, but I get annoyed with all of the cheesy aspects and just want to do my job and leave.

I think that I've been through so much in my life that this is a permanent thing. While I see that I will work out some of these things eventually because I pretty much have to to make money, i think I have permanently changed in several ways.

Most people don't realize any of this until they get close to me and then I've left them scarred by abandoning them.

I have seen therapists, they try to help me, but I just end up leaving eventually.

I see everyone around me getting married or finishing college and having a career and I feel like I have been where they are now for years. And again, I dislike these people because they are just idiots with a piece of paper, and now they are making a lot of money.

I know that I could have a noteworthy career, but I also know I will have to talk to people. I realize even as I'm saying some of this that I sound stupid. I don't really know what I'm asking at this point other than do other people feel or act this way?

Voting Results
49% Normal
Based on 41 votes (20 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 11 )
  • VirgilManly
    7 years ago

    If you didn't get help from qualified professionals I don't think you'll get help from the analingus practitioners here.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • CountessDouche
    7 years ago

    The more time you spend alone, the more conditioned you become to it. Your lack of connection to others severely limits your ability to be empathic. Instead of consideration for why they may do the stupid things that they do, you only see their actions as stupid. Isolation makes you unable to understand the complex motivations behind retarded human behaviors, and instead allows you to look at it objectively and from a distance, with nothing but disdain.

    Doing that will only isolate you further. If you see no problem with that, then carry on. Are you genuinely happy with it though? Do you not want to relax and not focus on negative things and have a good time? If not that's your prerogative.

    I think being above everyone else is a lonely place to be, but some are perfectly happy with that.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Stryk3istrukuout
      7 years ago

      That is the thing. I am happy, I just am forced to be someone else it seems. I am consistently expected to dumb myself down to fit in or succeed. I see the motives behind behaviors, I just don't care especially when people do it to themselves.

      It's like getting an A+ on every assignment in school and the kid getting a C is getting acknowledged. I don't aim to be above people, I just am and can't change it. I think Anewbis hit on it a bit.

      I can enjoy life just fine, but it's at the point where the people in charge at companies of jobs don't even know what they're doing and I end up at fault for their inability to manage and can't even keep the job because they are overlooking a basic principle. I make things look easy because I work smarter, not harder. For instance, I worked at a warehouse a few years ago and was fired for "making an error counting parts", when in reality the official counter had been making errors so they were comparing my counts to an incorrect count.

      That's just an example, but a good one at that. I guess it's, more than anything, I'm not being challenged, and need to go to medical school or do something big.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • CountessDouche
        7 years ago

        It doesn't matter what field you do decide to go into. There is a certain amount of having to work within the proverbial system.

        Even if you are self employed, you will eventually have to work with others, and if you somehow miraculously don't have to do that (like furious computer programming), you will still need to answer to others outside of yourself. To have a functional life, you will need to negotiate with insurance brokers, car salesman, accountants, possibly the IRS should you be audited, banks for loans if you own a business...and if you don't you'll have to answer to others anyway.

        People will be part of your life. It doesn't matter if you think that you are above others, and even if you actually are...even if you do exist on some highly intelligent plane that no one else could hope to reach...you will still have to deal with other human beings. You will have to work with them, so you better learn how, because you don't have the choice.

        If you truly are smarter than others, and above their simple emotional responses to things, you will still probably not be able to function in the world without basic social skills, and you will find that superior social skills, like networking and the ability to forge relationships will serve you very well in the long run.

        You are very arrogant to think that you know better than the people who own the businesses you work at. They raised the money to establish a business and have run one successfully. They have hired, fired, gotten loans, dealt with clients, accounting, licenses, and innumerable other barriers. You may be able to pick out faults in their management, but do you have the experience to know better? Could you start a business from the ground up?

        Part of business is people skills, whether you like it or not. Business owners not only have to deal with clients, but they have to handle employees, deal with disputes, hire the right people, fire the right people, and constantly adjust the work environment. The list goes on.

        If you think you can handle business without handling relationships, you are wrong, unless you are in a very very very specialized and seclusive area of expertise.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        1
        1
          -
        • Stryk3istrukuout
          7 years ago

          I'm not saying I know everything, but I do know that I have confidence in what I am strong in. Continuing with the example, I wouldn't finish counting parts unless I knew I was sure of my final total. If I had any presence of concern, I would stop and restart over again. That is simply how I operate. There are things that I don't need to have experience in to see obvious faults. It is not arrogant to see that some people are only where they are because of a degree or something was given. It's everywhere in life. Donald Trump built an empire because his dad gave him a "small loan" of a million dollars. People also play politics to get ahead. And yes, I definitely believe I could start a business from the ground up if I truly wanted to and had an idea of something I was passionate enough about.

          People put emphasis on formalities and let that hold the weight of what's important. Any smart CEO would look at facts and not what comes out of someone's mouth. For example, I don't want to hire someone just because he has a bachelor's degree in finance, I want the self-starter whose resume says he won accountant of the year three years running.

          Ultimately, every person has a job. (random example) I don't care if you reviewed 30 invoices and paid the higher totaled ones, your job is to pay each one and do the right thing, otherwise those fines add up and our ethics are misproportioned and we will be audited. If you can't review them and pay them, then we either need someone who can or we need to hire an extra hand. Otherwise, walking around with a fake smile and trying to be buddy-buddy with me does nothing. As well, it doesn't matter how classy our new conference rooms are if we aren't even operating legally to begin with.

          People front. Trying to look rich doesn't eliminate student or credit card debt. Likewise, being invested in is only a theoretical practice. People get into an idea and don't think things through. People act on impulse and are slow to logic.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
  • MichaelMyersindarkness
    7 years ago

    *stares into the dark alley*

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Stryk3istrukuout
      7 years ago

      I suppose this is the analingus practitioner VirgilManly was referring to

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • riffraffy
    7 years ago

    Feeling like a broken record these days: read 'How to Win Friends and Influence People'. You're socially under-developed. If you ever hope to achieve success in business and happiness in life, realize that you can't do it alone.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Stryk3istrukuout
      7 years ago

      I don't care about success if it means pretending to be someone else. I am happy just not with most people

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • Anewbis
    7 years ago

    Yes, other people feel this way.

    If what you say is true, then it has more to do with your childhood than you can remember.

    The brain is plastic and can re-integrate with people, but... most folks refuse to look at their "alone-ness" until their forties or so.

    You've an old soul. It's seen a lot you don't know... but you feel it anyway.

    ...

    amirite?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Stryk3istrukuout
      7 years ago

      Good analysis

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0