Is it normal to maintain an incomprehensible diary?

I've maintained a record of my introspective perceptions through regular journal entries. The reason is so that I may better understand, interpret, and track my mental progress over the years.

At least once a month, I'll take a few hours out of an evening to write down whatever thoughts come to mind. I am to write these thoughts directly and to the core. The only problem is, I've found the resulting entries have gradually become less comprehensible with time. The words themselves are very clean and legibly written; that's not the issue. My trouble is, I've noticed a decline in the functionality of such written thoughts. More broken sentence structure, nonsensical words, and complicated codes have been appearing in my entries since the start of the record. Normal word usage fails, and soon I observe myself describing my own mental processes using mismatched vocabulary, such as "those half-asleep injuries".

Nowadays, I hardly understand my entries at all. It's as though the longer the entry, the more chance it has to become this way. I've maintained this archive of thoughts, this diary, for a number of years now. Although my current situation may or may not sound insane to outside ears, I should make a point for good measure: My ability to function in the social world is just fine, don't worry. But as far as the general act of keeping a diary/journal/mental record goes, is it normal to maintain an incomprehensible diary?

Voting Results
59% Normal
Based on 44 votes (26 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • GuessWho

    Thoughts don't always translate well into words.

    That's why I just keep the raw data of whatever I'm thinking stored in my memory. That way, when I recall it, it still makes sense.

    My thoughts are often too complex to describe in words, and I think much faster than I could ever write, so keeping a journal of thoughts would be impossible for me.

    Without attempting it myself, I can't tell you how likely this failure is, but I can think that it would be quite probable in your situation.

    What I could suggest is to try "decode" it by removing words until the grammar seems normal and writing those words on another paper. It may be that you were thinking of two things at once and they got mixed on the paper.

    Edit: It took me less than a second to think of what to say in this comment, but almost 5 minutes to type it out with proper grammar. It's the physical component which is the restricting factor on how fast I can work.

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  • dom180

    I don't think of this as a problem. Just because your thoughts appear jumbled it doesn't mean you can't gain anything from them when you look back at them. If anything you might be able to gain even more if you can decode them :)

    I don't think it's normal in the strictest sense, but I don't think there's anything wrong with it. More people should do it :P

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  • o_0

    i think you have got bored...... keep it away for some time and then take it out maybe you act freshly to it then....
    secondly thoughts are in tangled form (i think.).... as our complex brain carries many thoughts and plans at one time that's why sometimes it becomes a bit difficult to write them clearly ..... but its okay... just write it with pencil then at last give an over view and make changes ,modify the words and sentences ,the way it looks suitable to you....
    and one more thing write as you wish to sometimes it better to be off the rules to burst off the thoughts running in your mind!! KEEP WRITING >>> BE HAPPY>>:) :)

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  • For some reason I thought of suckonthis9.

    Anyway. The mind is a fluid thing. Like an eye gazing into itself through a mirror, there's no unbiased perspective to view it from and so you have to interpret yourself through the lens of your own flawed perception.

    Ya dig? I think I'm making sense.

    And by extension, this bagel is delicious.

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    • mtg710

      Nope, just your average mtg710. I can partly see where you're going with that, but my flawed lens is still a little blurry.

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    • "there's no unbiased perspective to view it from and so you have to interpret yourself through the lens of your own flawed perception."

      Yes.

      "The mind is a fluid thing. Like an eye gazing into itself through a mirror"

      Not so much.

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  • Preacher

    I don't think what you do counts as keeping a diary. Perhaps it can help you understand how you feel at that very moment but it doesn't surprise me you find it obscure a month later.

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    • mtg710

      While I would understand finding it obscure a month after the fact, the problem is I often find it obscure the very next day.

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  • Perhaps you are being more liberal about your thoughts when writing and are not as concerned or self-conscious about maintaining a coherent structure.

    When I was younger, I would usually approach a journal entry like I would an essay, with a solid purpose and hypothesis. Now, I think "fuck it" and just write a free-flow of feelings, thoughts, and ideas all on the same page. It's more raw and thorough, but it looks like crazy *crap* and I hope that no one ever stumbles across them because it would never make sense to them.

    Maybe your mismatching vocab comes from valuing the meaning of what you're thinking as opposed to preciseness of it. Words written in a journal/diary are there to stimulate your own memories attached to them. If you were writing for another person, you would have to make it more universal.

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  • kr24

    This might be a case of ass-burgers.

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