Is it normal to never tell my family that i was raped?

When I was 4, my father, who at the time was living with his parents since my mother didn't want an alcoholic in the house, raped me multiple times during my weekend visits. At the time, I didn't really know what was going on, but I was slightly happy because I was getting attention from him, something he usually gave to my older sisters (I was the youngest by three years, and he wasn't around during my birth really). A year or so later after this started he died from liver problems (due to the alcoholism).
For the past year or so, all the memories have been flooding back more and more vividly. Now, each day I have episodes of spasms and sobbing and it doesn't seem like theyre lessening whatsoever. I especially fear getting murdered now. I remember he would tell me he was going to murder me eventually, something which I didn't understand, and after a while I began to actually want whatever it was he was talking about because I just wanted to please him and have his attention. I have intense androphobia because of all the PTSD I've developed from this
I've told a couple of very close friends about this, but I'm wondering if I should tell my family. My older sisters all loved my father so much and I'm scared they'd despise me if I out him as being a rapist