Is it normal to not be able to say no for fear of upsetting someon?

78% Normal
3 Comments

I have a habit of not being able to say no to people. Just about everything!! in case I upset them. In my mind I'm like it's not that important and they'll be fine, but I get awkward with the awkwardness it might create afterwards. It's like " wanna go on hoilday next month?" (i cant afford it but i say yes!), "what do u think of thiS idea someone asks me at work (its rubbish and i dont like it but i'll say hmm maybe), it frustrates the hell out of me, and gets me in to situations that are awkward later on. I just wish i was more forward in saying no. hmm
It's like I even agree to things just to appease everybody, and even tell little lies, not harmful ones, thinking I can resolve it later. Like, have you hurried up and booked that flight "yes-knowing fine right i havent", but it avoids conflict and awkward conversation afterwards. "Have you e-mailed that over to me yet?" yes didnt you get it-oh there must be something wrong with my e-mail knowing fine right i havent done it yet.
I think there's a hint of complulsive liarness in there :(. And it's not in a bad way-they arent bad lies. Anyway I think I've really done two IIN's here...anyhoooo

Voting Results
78% Normal
Based on 58 votes (45 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • stonecutters93
    12 years ago

    I think it's normal but it's definitely a habit you'll want to break. I had a problem saying no to people as well and it turned out my problem stemmed from a lack of confidence. It's fine to say no every so often, people won't be upset by it.

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    Someone asks "Would you do me a favour?" and you jump in and say, Yes!
    No - say, "If I can." Hear what it is and say, "I'll get back to you." or "I've already made plans."

    But what is wrong with saying, "I wish I could but I can't afford it." ?

    You may be a people pleaser but you don't want to be a doormat with no life of your own - being led through life by the nose.

    You don't need to be offensive just stall for time while you think about how to handle it. You don't need to be confrontational just say no in an apologetic way!!

    Learn these techniques as fast as possible before you ruin your life!!!!

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  • zchristian
    12 years ago

    I dont really have a problem with saying no but i do seem to have a fear of upsetting people... (Unless i dont like them)

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