Is it normal to not be over your ex after a year?

84% Normal
13 Comments

I have tried everything, I have tried new friend groups, hobbies, I even switched jobs. I applied to 4 Master's programs and got into all of them!! I even got into a huge gov't job program, and went to therapy. I've been on dates with many guys, and had hookups with a very nice, attractive man. But every time I do something, I feel lonely.

Nothing has worked. I still miss him like crazy. I feel completely hollow. Our breakup anniversary is very soon.

The worst is, I know the breakup had to happen, & it wasn't working out, but it still hurts & he has completely moved on. I tried to be friends w him/tried to accept the breakup, but seeing him hurt me even more.

The pain really is hard, and it distracts me every day. From work, life, etc. I think I just need to switch my mindset. How do I do this?

Voting Results
84% Normal
Based on 19 votes (16 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • olderdude-xx
    2 years ago

    It can take years to get over a real relationship; no matter how or why it ended. There will always be a hole in yourself that can never be fully filled in again.

    Now, most people do develop other relationships to replace the lost one; but, everyone I know occasionally talks about someone in the past that was very meaningful in their life at some point.

    As an example, my best friend in high school committed suicide about 50 years ago... and I still miss him. Now I have made new friends since; and while they may be great in their own way... there is still a hole left from my high school friend.

    I wish you well with this,

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      2 years ago

      Thank you. This was the best answer here. I appreciate you taking the time; I truly believe and agree with all of this

      I wish you peace & restfulness with your friend. You are a good friend and kind soul to be thinking of them still.

      Thanks again for this answer, it totally makes sense

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  • SkullsNRoses
    2 years ago

    Do you lack deep connections in your life?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      2 years ago

      I absolutely do. I think you may have answered the question. I only connect with someone like this once every few years.

      This was very insightful, thanks!

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      • SkullsNRoses
        2 years ago

        You’re welcome, I wish you the best with your healing.

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  • Pilum
    2 years ago

    How long were you with your ex? I forget but i heard something like it takes half the time or equal the time you were with your ex to get over them. Its normal though.

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  • 1WeirdGuy
    2 years ago

    The best bet is like you said to stay away from him. Pretend he doesnt exist.

    How long were yall together?

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  • RoseIsabella
    2 years ago

    I think you need more therapy.

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  • hauntedbysandwiches
    2 years ago

    Normal unfortunately

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  • ThatOneGuyYouNeverWantToMeet
    2 years ago

    I've never understood this, the second we break up is the second my romantic feelings for you die. It's like flipping a switch, burning a document or deleting a file on a PC. It's just not there anymore, like all the good times never happened.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      2 years ago

      Damn I wish I could be like this. This sounds awesome. I wish I was stronger/able to turn off like this. I'll try this next time

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  • BillNye1
    2 years ago

    That happened to me. I still haven't gotten over him. It's not like I have friends I can hang out with or talk to. I have no way to pass time so I'm always thinking about him. He was the cure to my boredom and my loneliness. It hasn't been a full year yet, but a few more months and it will be. And I'm technically still a minor haha and my parents wouldn't get me therapy even though I'm pretty sure I'm depressed...

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  • fatok
    2 years ago

    Pick up a couple of guys and have a 3some. Let them bang you all night and you will feel better.

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