Is it normal to not feel good enough for the person you like?

79% Normal
12 Comments

This feeling sucks! I tend to start comparing myself with girls I think the guy I like would be into. It messes with my head especially when I think of girls I know personally who would be more compatible with him. Right now, I am in love with the guy I am seeing right now but honestly there are two girls we probably can't avoid that he might be more compatible with: my roommate and my sister. I think of them during moments where I feel like he is turned off by me because of something I lack as opposed to something the other girls have. It is a sucky feeling and I start feeling not good enough for him and it doesn't help thinking of other girls he might be into. When it comes to the guys that like me, I just don't like them but also I feel like a better person than the person I am with the one I like. Its so confusing. I don't know if this is normal and common or its just me.

Voting Results
79% Normal
Based on 33 votes (26 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • Bubbles3
    10 years ago

    Sweetheart, my motto is, "if he thinks he can find someone better, then go right ahead."
    If he honestly wanted someone else then he doesn't deserve the title as your boyfriend. Period.
    He should have honor just in you calling him so. Just remember that he won't find someone better and prove that to him. Not only would it prove that he's a dickhead if he chose your sister over you but it would prove that he's not the one. Our souls were destined to has a soulmate.
    Ever hear the saying " if you love something let it go if it comes back to you it's yours but if it does then it never was." If he thinks he can find something better then let him he will soon realize that no one will love him better than you. But of course if the unexpected happens and he decides he wants to for some reason leave you, then he wasn't worth your time nor was he your soulmate.
    Take my advice or you can mope around and feel sorry for yourself. You know your choice.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Yeah obviously it would be a dick move for him to go for my sister or even my roommate. But in reality, hes a shy and reserved guy and lags making moves so I fear him holding feelings for someone else cause he doesn't know how to express himself because he feels trapped being w me since he doesn't know how to end it. That's a lot of thinking I know I tend to do that I just like to think of all the possibilities including negative ones. I jut don't wanna be w someone who doesn't wanna be with me and since he's reserved what if he's just there trying to like me but naturally he doesn't. I honestly feel like it would be karma since I was with someone that I didn't like initially but he loved me so eventually I liked him but I believe since it wasn't natural from the beginning it ended pretty badly. Maybe this will be my karma but who knows as crappy as this feels I like him so much and I think him breaking my heart will be worth it.

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  • Anime7
    10 years ago

    I don't know how normal this is but I feel it to. Except it sounds like you're already seeing this person, and you're not really vying for their attention. If he's with you then he's with you. You shouldn't put yourself down if the person you like is already with you. If they didn't think that maybe something was there and you weren't attractive, then they wouldn't have even given you a chance. See where the relationship goes and stop comparing yourself to other girls, easier said than done I know. Try focusing on yourself and how amazing you are as a person. Then it'll make total sense why the person you like likes you back.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Like I said below, today people will be with someone even if they don't really like them. It can be simply cause they're playing them, feel lonely so they're using them, or it can also be cause they just don't know how to end it and honestly I feel that way sometimes about us. Even if he's w me I feel like hell be better off w those other girls and once he gets to know them he won't know how to end it w me cause he is shy and holds back a lot. He lacks expressing himself. So I feel like we're both wasting each others time but I know I don't wanna end it cause I do like him a lot so if he ends it I'll know for sure it's time to move on.

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      • Anime7
        10 years ago

        That seems like a pretty bad way to view relationships. But I guess I can't really change your mind. I think you should stop thinking the way you do though. I mean it sounds harmful to your self esteem. Can't you just believe that he likes you? Like I said in my first post above, if you focus on the good qualities about yourself then I think you'll find it easy to believe why he's with you.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          Yeah for sure this is a low self esteem issue unfortunately. I see it all the time. Someone who deserves better but it looks like the couple is either not aware of it because they have high self esteem or theyare aware but don't care cause they love each other. I wish I can have one of those, sometimes I wish I was blind and not be aware of these possibilities/negatives that can happen but I think a lot and I am protective of myself. But because I like him so much and he's actually proved little by little he likes me regardless of my flaws I'm just gonna keep going until I have a valid reason to leave him or if he just happens to decide to end it with me.

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  • Freedom_
    10 years ago

    Sounds like you either have trust issues or maybe just a bad feeling about this relationship. Your inner self might be telling you it's time to call it quits, unless this is a repetitive issue in multiple relationships.

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  • Pika-girl
    10 years ago

    I always think that one of my friends, all the way from first grade, and my crush, we just became good friends a few months ago, are gonna be together. He always likes to talk to her more, have her around with his friends, and other stuff. I only get bonked on the head playfully and I even give him stuff like things that took me a month to make and it seems that he doesn't really appreciate it... But I still like him! The thing what keeps me going is this:

    My sister and her friend were eating with eachother at a nearby table. My sister said that her partner for dancing (I got lucky! Mine is my crush!) was okay, but her friend yelled out to us (My crush, my other friend, and I) that my sister likes this guy, but my sister said, "No! No! No! No!" all panicky. But then, my crush said that we were all too young to like eachother, but we're all close in age difference.

    So, that's when I noticed that he's not interested in anyone and my hopes got up!

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  • ucipher8
    10 years ago

    If i loved someone enough, id change my lifestyle for them (or thats what i tell myself). Of course i want someone who likes me for me the way i am. This way i can look at myself and improve myself, for them.

    All i can say is that you are in a relationship of which you are unsure of yourself and unfortunately only you can decide what to do about that.

    Unless he does. Of which if he does, catch you being a little jealous that is; you should be in love with him. If i knew my girl was jealous, id find a way to let her know theres no reason to be.

    Then again, im a romantic but a loser.

    If not, i wouldn't recommend trying to make him jealous but perhaps, spending more time together, without your roommate or sister.

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  • Derpinism
    10 years ago

    use your social skills to make him feel really good when he is with you. do not fake it though, try to be as sincere as possible. make sure he feel really confident and masculine with you.

    here is a common example, you girls like to ask your partners to open jars for you. guys like it because they can show their strength.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Theres alot of competition in the modern dating world, you need to be able to adjust. Whats it feel like you lack? Gain what you lack, work on your appearence and social skills and whatever you lack.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Basically yeah that's what I'm doing while I'm with him is trying to improve myself because there's that saying that states dont change for others the person will like you for you. But in this case I feel like I'm gonna change for the better. For example, he likes being organized and I like it too but not as much I kind of don't care at some point and he notices so I guess I can learn to be more organized which is upgrading not downgrading. But sometimes I feel why change ? If I'm not that bad of a person I should be w someone who likes me for me. And today anybody will be with anybody even if they don't like them, whether cause they're playing them or they don't know how to end it.

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