Is it normal to not like being with my parents

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I’m 22 and don’t like the way my parents make me feel. They’re very nice the majority of the time. No matter how old I am any time I go home I’m treated like I’m 10. I can’t go on walks by myself without aggressive questioning. This wouldn’t be as annoying if I was actually protected by threats, but I wasn’t and when I needed them they disappeared and just hoped I didn’t kill myself. They’ve actively stood in the way of mental health treatment for me.
I was molested for a while but would never tell them because I know they would make it all about themselves.

They’ve said something negative about every friend and boyfriend I’ve ever had. They’ve said they’re: too poor, too fat, too annoying, and when I said a lot of people like a certain friend I have my mom said “well when I met her I didn’t see that.” I avoided bringing people home in high school.

My friends are conventionally attractive and very good to me.

My mom implants ideas into my head when she gets bored. I also feel like they both guilt me for being alive. A bracelet They got me didn’t fit me so my mom called me ungrateful and screamed at me, then demanded my dad drive 6 hours to return the bracelet. My dad kept angrily texting me that I “‘made him” return it.

They repeatedly tell me how good my childhood was. I don’t even know why. I never told them it wasn’t good.

My dad gets extremely angrily if I turn down his affection. If I don’t want to hug him or hold his hand he calls me a cunt and tells me how horrible I am repeatedly.

They also both make fun of me to 3rd parties regularly and call it “adult humor.” My mom told people I made up needing hearing aids for attention (I needed them), my dad constantly made fun of me for breaking my computer To his friends (it wasn’t even my fault), and in general “we are so good and she’s so ungrateful.”

My dad once also complained for a long time because I left a single piece of Parmesan on the table.

Anyway. I have the emotional control of a toddler. I’m a perfectionist and implode if I’m not perfect. My relationship with sex is deeply twisted. I don’t know. Any insight?

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Comments ( 5 )
  • [Old Memory]
    3 years ago

    Insight? MOVE OUT AND CUT ALL TIES.

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  • Grunewald
    3 years ago

    Your life sounds a bit like mine, but worse. It doesn't get better when you hit 30. It sounds like you have some self-knowledge - this is like gold because of the way it lets you think before doing stupid things, not repeat your parents' mistakes and not make yourself utterly unbearable to be friends with. Speaking from personal experience. But in itself it isn't enough to get you out of your childhood conditioning. You need therapy. A therapist would be ideal - a psychiatrist perhaps even better. But an audio book or a textbook and a church with a 'prayer team' might work if you're broke but have done your research. Not all of them insist that you believe the same things as them, to benefit from them.

    If I knew you irl you could come be my flatmate and we could make a safer home <3. But alas, I don't.

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  • SkullsNRoses
    3 years ago

    I second the advice to speak to a therapist about this, what you’re describing is emotional abuse. Whether it’s the reason for the problems you list at the end we can’t tell you.

    All I can say is if you’re parents are being disrespectful enough to accuse you of lying about having a disability and call you a “cunt” for not hugging them then you are not obligated to keep contact with them.

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  • 1WeirdGuy
    3 years ago

    Why havent you moved?

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    • Tacothursday
      3 years ago

      I’ve moved out this is from when I lived with them

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