Is it normal to not make friends right away when you move to college?

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I moved to college two weeks ago (although I've been here for roughly one week as I went home for part of the time), and I feel very alone all of a sudden. I'm very introverted but I have been making a big effort to introduce myself to people and participate in events. I was actually feeling very good about things up until this morning, I was meeting new people, met some others from my course and even got invited to drop by someone's apartment whenever I want (which I'll probably do tomorrow as I only met her yesterday and don't want to appear overeager to make friends). My course will start soon and I'll be able to see the people I met at orientation again, as well as meeting new people. I'm excited about that.

But I haven't talked to anyone all day (aside from a Facebook chat with a friend who wants to hang out next week) and have just been sitting in my room and intermittently crying. All of my flatmates are out (two are with family and one doesn't talk to us). I feel like I've been making a big effort, but am not getting many results. I haven't had many friends before and I was really hoping that moving to a new place where nobody knows each other would mean that I would have an easier time of it.
Does it just take a while to make friends, or am I doing something wrong?
I can hear people playing basketball outside and groups of friends going in and out of the apartments every once in a while and I feel like crap because I'm not with them. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I'm very jealous.

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Based on 13 votes
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Comments ( 10 )
  • mysistersshadow
    8 years ago

    It can take alot longer to make friends than you described I think you might be wanting to many results to soon especially if your not really good at it becos of introversion or whatever it could take even longer. Beside making a bunch of sort of friends isn't going to be as good as making 1 or 2 real friends.

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  • gingerlove
    8 years ago

    Hey I think I know how you feel. I felt this way too because we're introverts are they're extroverts maybe? I know it sounds rough but sometimes what helps is time to get to know one another even if it has been a month or however long. Also opening up to the right people might help too.

    Let's hope we can both get a good friendship going :)

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  • DADNSCAL
    8 years ago

    Interaction is a part of education, just as is book learning. "College" comes from the Latin "collegium" which is "joined by law", that is people who are bonded together by common ideas. Don't just look for shallow friendships, but meaningful exchange of ideas.

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    • RoyRogers
      8 years ago

      Interaction is not part of learning. Its part of socializing. While socializing might be important to some degree sacrificing your education to be a people pleaser is pretty stupid. Especially when in college you pay the bill for those classes. Some people are just not worth associating with.

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      • DADNSCAL
        8 years ago

        You missed the point of education, and of my post. As far back as the ancient Greeks, notably Socrates and Aristotle, part of education has been debate and the free exchange of ideas. Modern industrial society has turned it into molding minds to fit into predetermined routine jobs which don't require real thought. Writing off people as too stupid to be bothered with is narrow minded snobbery.

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        • RoyRogers
          8 years ago

          The point of education is to learn and that is all. People like you and idiotic public schools turning it into a social program is what screws a lot of people up. As well as that young people in school often have really stupid priorities.

          Being cool at all cost is not smart at all. You are smarter to stay that unpopular nerd in HS and making it in college. Being a drunk frat boy might seem cool at the time but finishing your degree is far more important. I sure if you tell your employer "Yeah, I was able to down 30 beers in one sitting in college, you should totally hire me on" even if you are applying for a bartending position they are probobly not going to hire you.

          Also exchanging ideas and information is not socializing. Socializing is interacting with other people and dealing with behavior and emotions. Sometimes debate can hurt peoples feelings, and social skills tell you how to handle these people. So your idea that being cool in HS and college is the most important thing is terribly misguided.

          You might thing being a drunk retard, and getting pregnant at 16 is the way to success. That these people saying that is going to impress an employer but that is complete crap. Being liked does not mean you are liked for the right reason. You were probobly a drunk idiot in HS or college though and so you expect the world to be as moronic as you.

          It does not take a lot of thought to stick your dick in someone, it does not take thought to get drunk or get high, it does not take thought to hijack a car and taking it for a joyride, it does not take thought to screw up at work and get fired. The fact you think this stuff is intelligent shows what a low IQ you really have. Thank you for showing how stupid and what shitty priorities humanity has. I am sure we are all happy to be reassured of mankinds stupidity. You did a wonderful job showing it! Clearly we are not short of idiots in the world.

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          • DADNSCAL
            8 years ago

            It's hard to argue with ignorance.

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  • TheAmputatedLegCollector
    8 years ago

    The purpose of college is to provide one with an education. Finding friends is a lower priority.

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    • Steve_2
      8 years ago

      Have you spoken to anti-hero? You should get in touch with him.

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    • mellymoo123
      8 years ago

      I agree, but I am far more worried about not having friends than doing badly on my course. I already completed a certificate similar to the first year of this one at a different institution and I spoke to someone who had done it at one of the events, so I know what to expect.

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