Is it normal to regret going to a prestigious graduate school?
I complain on this site a lot, but I want to resolve some of my issues and unhappiness. This post is regarding my decision to go to graduate school, which I am starting to regret to the utmost degree. I won't name the school per se, but I will mention that it is one of the more prominent in the D.C. area for all the overachieving nerd types out there (and no, its not GWU, it's better lol).
I should be proud (or so you'd think): I had graduated from one of the most prestigious International Affairs masters programs at 22 years old - the youngest student in my class. I then later found a job as a Homeland Security contractor and did well financially. But the job was miserable - I had been the only black there and told not to answer phones and watched as other "lighter" colleagues of mine were promoted over me. That was nothing compared to the stress of dealing with my so-call "family," who treated me like a live-in ATM, a chauffeur, and waiter. I finally grew the cojones to cut them off and no longer communicate with them. But it was too late, the stress these imbeciles put in my life - along with my stupidity of continuing to deal with them - caused me to have issues at my job. I quit in March 2013.
On the positive side: the experience has made me much tougher - mentally and physically. I've lost over 130 pounds and have fought back very nasty bouts of depression since then - neither of which were easy to overcome. I have come to see that it takes a certain personality and level of tenacity to fight the battles I did. I had experiences most people never have: my first job was reporting to the White House, and I succeeded there for a very long time. I interviewed twice with one of the most selective intelligence agencies in the world. I became published at 24 and made longstanding friendships.
But it's been a rough road. I was 20 when I started that school in 2008, and since then I have been medicated, under therapy, reprimanded, hospitalized, treated like crap by my so-called "family," and genuinely miserable. And all this came with a $130,000 price tag in loans.
No, I can't blame the school for all my problems. I wasn't mature enough when I was earning the degree nor when I first entered the workforce. I made mistakes at my first job (note: I still hold on to my argument that I was very badly mistreated there and had valid reasons to quit). But I can honestly say that the 5 years I spent in D.C. were BY FAR the least happy of my life. In late 2013, I moved to L.A. and (you guessed it!) am still having problems finding a job.
So is my attitude all that great? No. But should it be? Do you think it will get better? It sure as hell needs to.
On the bright side, I think it will get better.