Is it normal to seek substances out of frustration and chronic boredom?
It is just the samething everyday, extreme boredom, dissatisfaction and disappointments with real life things that should bring an ecstatic joy to a person is absolutely tasteless, pointless and waste of time for me, and one time i smoked marijuana at 18 years of my age i was so convinced that i felt so content and happy with this intense rush that this constant stressful feeling not only just went away, but also so amplified my feelings of happiness that i literally felt a divine being make a special surprise for me. Maybe it's because i lack sophisticated and connections with people on a deep level which in my case i barely socially interact despite wanting, and romance dreams which feel good and real and then when reality hits me so hard of being doomed with single life. I guess there's no therapist, or anyone to convince me not to seek or use substances and i'll have hundreds to thousands ways of making rationalization gearing me towards continuing to seek and use, and be in denial of possible consequences such as psychosis and schizophrenia despite knowing the possible risk and that there's no such thing "but it won't happen to me" What's wrong with me >_<