Is it normal to think and feel this way?

64% Normal
5 Comments

So..I'm a 17 year old guy and there's this other guy that has really helped me a lot through things(hard times) and helped me find Christ and all. I've known him since I was like 10 but he always looked down on me since considering he hasn't always been a "Christian". Well I've always compared myself to him because he looks perfect, seems perfect, he has had an amazing great life and has a good family and all...sometimes it gets to the point to where I want to cut myself and just cry and I'm not even sure why. Like today I told him about a time of my friends running naked through a field and he said that's the kind of stuff he wants to do with his wife one day but not now..that has made me depressed and stuff because I know he won't do that with me and we graduate next year and I know I might not. Ever see him again and that makes me want to die...I'm straight, and so is he but I still always want to be his "best friend" and spend a ton of time with him...is this normal ? If not, what's wrong with me..?

Voting Results
64% Normal
Based on 22 votes (14 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 5 )
  • KinkyLahHoe
    11 years ago

    This boy was/ still is perfect in your eyes and you were constantly feeling inferior to him, hence the cutting. His rejection of running around naked with you obviously hurt as if the "perfect" person doesn't want to do something the whole idea suddenly seems ridiculous.

    I had a simliar problem with a friend of mine a few years ago, I was very insecure about myself, yet they radiated confidence, good looks, social skills and just perfection in general, they too looked down on me but in my case for being "a nerd", instead of not always being Christian.

    I was silly and allowed this to go on for over a year, until eventually they were admitted into the popular crowd and I was tossed aside like an old broken toy, and I can honestly tell you it was the best thing they could have ever done for me.

    Of course I was hurt at first but after finding new friends who treated me right I not only realised that this person wasn't as perfect as I once believed but also that they had treated me like dirt.

    My advice for you is to break out of your comfort zone and find other friends, you seem really sweet from what you've said and like all people you want close friends, but believe me people like this boy, who will "look down on you" are not worth your efforts.

    It won't be easy but it will be worth it, good luck.

    P.S. Ignore what people are saying about you being in love with him, you look up to him which is a completely different thing.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Thisguy94
      11 years ago

      It's not that he "rehected running around in a field naked with me" it's that the idea of him being so happy and perfect with someone as he is now doesn't really hurt me that he's going to be happy because I do wish the best for him, but it just scares me I guess that I'm eventually going to lose him I know..and although he's caused me a ton of problems by me comparing myself to him..he really is one of my good friends..it's just that's feel looked down on and rejecte a lot and the thought of losing someone I've looked up to for many years kills me...I guess because he's really all I have left, I lost my best friend through suicide a few years ago, there's been domestic issues for as long as I remember, I don't have any grandparents or much family left and me and my sister don't even talk anymore..maybe that's why I feel the way I do about him? I see someone who has everything set for their entire life and who has had an amazing life do far and has all these talents and good looks ad all that..I know I'm not gay, I really appreciate what you said. I guess I just see what my life could have been like and compare it to what it is like and I know I can't get any of that back. And yes for those who say I love him, I do, I love him because although he has caused me tremendous issues he has also been there for me and I love him like a brother because god love him. I know I shouldn't envy him or fear losing him near as much as I do but he's all I have left to look up to or to be close to..I really don't know what to do sometimes because he just sorta blows me off...but thank you for all that you wrote, it makes me feel better knowing that someone understands where I'm coming from on this instead of assuming I have sexual insecurities or confusion.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • Sanna
    11 years ago

    BROmance, guys. Bromance.
    In this case it seems to be a little bit too strong tho ;)
    But try to forget him, and to not become a stalker.
    His wife wouldn't be too happy about it, she wants some time with him too lol.
    Find some new friends and hopefully this strong urge you have to see him will be over in a couple of weeks-months.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • AssBurgers
    11 years ago

    I disagree. A man crush isn't really a sexual thing, it's all about respect, admiration and idolization.

    I think the OP is in denial about his sexuality, and is in love with this buddy of his.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • anti-hero
    11 years ago

    Not normal. Seems like a man crush to me.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0