Is it normal to think that people mistake your social anxiety with as?

79% Normal
4 Comments

I just finished college this year ,i am 23 years old , and i think that people mistake my extreme lack of confidence ,and lack of social skills , with asperger syndrom , they would say stuff about it infront of me , and i know that they mean me being the subject ,anyways , is it normal to think that people mistake your social anxiety and lack of confidence with Asperger syndrome?

Voting Results
79% Normal
Based on 34 votes (27 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    I've never been mistaken as AS but I suppose that's mostly because I barely leave the house unless I really have to. I agree with what Shrunk says though, while people may see social anxiety and mistake it for AS, people with social anxiety tend to care a whole lot about what people think of them.

    Being socially anxious hinges a lot on caring too much and being paranoid in that care I think.

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    • joybird
      12 years ago

      Until I found this site I honestly never considered that so many people are sooo shy and worry about what other people think of them. I admit that I don't understand it, although I did work in a bar when I was a student and I had a young man with a stutter who was one of my customers. Apparently, he didn't stutter until he had to order a drink from ME! Eek! I felt soooo sorry for him having the stutter but I felt really bad coz I couldn't have a decent conversation with him. However, it seems extremely rude that people would talk about you, in front of you! That's their problem (having no manners) not yours!

      I don't know where my confidence came from as we were all put down and insulted as we grew up. However, I realised my mom's opinions etc didn't matter coz I'd be getting outa there at the first opportunity.

      I don't know what I can advise except to realise that you owe nothing to these people and you are not asking them to pay your bills. So really, they don't matter to you! So stop worrying what they think! I keep advising people to ask others questions about themselves and let them talk. If you listen to their answers that should lead you to your next question. That person will think you're wonderful and caring, coz cocky people like talking about themselves.

      A guy I'm friendly with and one I've chatted to regularly most weekends for about 8 years, stopped me in the bar a few weeks ago. He asked me my surname, where I lived, who I was married to, etc etc. He'd finally realised he knew nothing at all about me ;o) although I could tell you his life story :o) Yet, we are really friendly and have great laughs.

      You may have to force yourself to say, 'Hi, how are you?' but I swear people aren't going to bite you! Try it, pleeeeeze!

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      • [Old Memory]
        12 years ago

        Well thank you but it's not just simply a case of my caring about what they think because for me it's more a case of hoping that I don't appear or stand out because then I might get a negative reaction from someone.

        It stems back to things that are in my past and is more complex than just pure shyness or vanity (I know you weren't saying that though). It's easier said than done really, unfortunately.

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        • joybird
          12 years ago

          I wish you lived near me I'd have you out with me in the pubs and clubs! I don't find people are negative or nasty, maybe I just don't notice. I've seen TV programmes where they take people out of their comfort zones, and make them talk to complete strangers in the street. As for me, I'm one of the very few females who will go into a bar on their own - but I always meet someome at the bar within a few minutes.

          I'm sure that if you really want to do it, you will manage it. Then you'll find it's not so bad and you didn't actually die. After that, there'll be no stopping you! This is a bad habit you need to break in order to progress through your life.

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