Is it normal: walking on eggshells?

As a child I tried my hardest not to upset my mother. Pick up the dish soap and put it down slightly in the wrong spot, she'd yell. First attempt at tying my shoe and messed up, she yelled. Try to stand up to her she'd grab me roughly and yell. I walked to school crying.

We shared the same room. She picked out my outfits. She dressed me. She undressed me. She bathed me. I told her no one day and she yelled and I was scared, I was scared of those eyes, so I shut my mouth once again. Showers once a week, went to school feeling disgusting.

Dad was always working. One day grandma locked herself in her room and stayed there until my dad got home. She didn't feel safe, so what about me?

Trying to fall asleep but afraid because she's talking to herself. I didn't understand. One day they told me she had to go away for a little bit. I didn't understand, but it was the best month of my life. I don't remember it, but I know it was.

She washed her hands for hours every day until they bled. I didn't understand.

She put every item in the house on folded paper towels. I didn't understand.

She took me outside and forced me to stare at the sun, I didn't understand.

She suspiciously peeked out through the blinds talking to herself. I didn't understand.

I was sent to 'our' room every day after school (prior to this she'd wash my feet in the sink) and wasn't suppose to leave, I didn't understand.

One day my dad tells me what happened that she had to go to the hospital for a month and I understand. He tells me another story of when I was a baby and he was holding me. My mom comes in with a knife and attempts to attack him. I still don't know if I'd like to believe that story, but only for selfish reasons do I. It would mean I had good reason to be afraid of her growing up. It would mean I couldn't do anything about the situations. It would mean I wasn't weak.

So now I understand. I understand why I flinch whenever someone's about to comment on what I'm doing. I understand why I'm afraid to be myself. I understand why I'm afraid to speak up. I understand why I walk on eggshells wherever I go.

Is it normal?

Voting Results
52% Normal
Based on 73 votes (38 yes)
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Comments ( 34 )
  • kelili

    You write well. You seem like a bright one and I think that someday someway you'll get over all this.

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  • MissyLeyneous

    I'm sorry but all I can seem to think of to say is:

    AWWWWWWWWW!!!!! D:

    I just wanna pick you up and give you a big hug! I feel so bad for you! I hope you get to feeling better soon! <3

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  • SangoNyappy

    You're really strong then but what I want to tell you is. Become a fucking writer you're really good with words siriously

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    • Aw, thank you. lol. I wasn't expecting people to compliment me on my writing; I don't think I am. Average I'd say, but I suppose above average for an IIN submissioner. :P

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      • SangoNyappy

        Pff you just need to get some idea and you'll write epic book I'm sure :D

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  • partofeveryone

    I cant thinknof much to say. You have my sympathy, but moreso, my respect. Normal, given the circumstances. You seem very bright, brighter than I am. Don't forget that, and never devalue yourself.

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  • davesumba

    my dad yelled at me for absolutely everything, and I too am afraid to be myself, speak up, and flinch whenever someone's about to comment about me. I'm deathly afraid to do or say something wrong, so i just don't do or say anything a lot of the time, and i was thinking about it the other day about how it's probably because of how my dad treated me.

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  • Ibelievethis

    I feel heartily sorry for all of you, yourself your dad your mum (due to her illness and your gran (more so you as you was just a child).
    Your mum's (illness) is however most certainly not your doing you were just an innocent child who shouldn't have any worries and were life was just all about fun and play time .
    It's no wonder that you are treading on egg shells after what you have been through. Have you had counseling?
    I wish I could offer you advice but I wouldn't make a fool of myself advising on a subject that I don't fully understand.
    I will leave my thoughts and love with you. xx .

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  • NeuroNeptunian

    After having a childhood like that, it is normal. Childhood is a critical state of development when we learn to relate to and adapt to the world around us and contrary to what many people will tell you, we learn QUITE A BIT about how to act and what to expect out of life, what behavior is and isn't tolerable and what behavior will and will not achieve certain results FROM HOME.

    It sounds as if you have adapted to a horrible environment and unless you get some counseling, you run the risk of carrying said adaptive tendencies into your adult life which, in turn, could harm your life and sense of well being, if they haven't already.

    I am sorry that you had to go through that. It was not right of your father to allow your obviously severely mentally unstable mother to be around his children.

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    • That'sRacist

      Are you going to be a cop when you grow up?

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      • NeuroNeptunian

        No.

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  • Wambo37

    Oh my I clicked on the story thinking you like to step on eggshells after eating a nice omlett :S I dont know what to say if it isnt a troll but the way you express yourself is amazing.

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    • Haha! Actually, I did have an omelette (first in months) the evening prior to posting this but sadly there is no connection. (Or perhaps breaking eggshells that day entered my subconscious and twisted itself into this horrendously written anecdote!) ;P

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  • 1000yrVampireKing

    Seems like it might hurt.

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  • MiaScarlette.

    Dont wanna seem mean, but why would you even ask if it normal. Its not at all. But it makes you a stronger and better person(: i hope so. Idk what to sayD: stay strong:D

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  • Lady.Pemberlie

    Your mom needs to be admitted to a mental institution for her own sake. You, including your father, should also get some psychological/psychiatric therapy for all the traumatic events and confusion you've gone through.

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  • Justsomejerk

    I like your writing style. Thanks for sharing.

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  • Terence_the_viking

    sound like your mother wishes you never were born she didn't get over the post birth stress or what ever its called i've heard of it happening you will just have to ride it out till you can move

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  • Sunnydayz

    Yes that is normal you'll be ok, your fine your a person who is used to it but I still don't get what you didnt understand

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    • She's (paranoid) schizophrenic with OCD.

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  • autumniccole

    You are a survivor...you will make it....and be able to help others that go through those awful childhoods....blessings....find folks in your life that can reparent you...that are a positive influence...I had a terrible childhood also...I took every invitation I could get to visit the homes of other girls to find out what familes were about....Some families teach us how to love...some families teach us how to survive....Survivors can help other survive....blessings

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  • MeHTa

    As a young girl who has a lot of friends with kids I want to yell and scream and find whoever is responsible and beat them with a stick, as a medical professional i can only be extremely sorry for what has happened to you and only tell you that the road for recovery for you would start when you forgive your mother and understand that it wasn't her fault but the disease. Also you have to realize that there is absolutely nothing that was or is wrong with you. This experience has made you stronger. Unfortunately you have not really experienced motherly love. For the sake of your future kids i would get counseling. Also, i would suggest start playing sports, and do volunteering. Endorphins from physical activity work better then any antidepressants, and helping people would only place you around others and make you feel better about yourself. I myself don't go to church but I saw that it does wonders to people. Not because of the connection to God, per say, but because of the community and willingness of people to help one another. Good luck with future life. You can do it!

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  • jermath35

    I feel bad for u! Sounds like ur mom had a mental illness...my life was bad to... Just try and move on always be yourself don't let anyone or thing stop that...

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  • NotStrangeBird

    I was going to make a wiseass comment about your story until I read it. Now I'm just sad...

    I hope you can work things out.

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    • XD I saw a few posts related to childhood and abuse (Not that I believe I was. At least I wouldn't like to classify it as such.) and was in one of those rare moods. We're good now. She lives in a different state and we call each other every once in a while. I attempted to discuss what happened with her when I was 16 but she reverted to child mode. I can't blame her; I just get upset that she could have been (and be) so much more. She was..is a good mother. (The best I think she could be considering.)

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      • NotStrangeBird

        That's even better than I thought. I was just hoping you could work things out for yourself, but you did well by reconciling with her as best you could.

        Good luck, now I'm off to make wiseass comments elsewhere...

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  • shade_ilmaendu

    Oh dear... Sounds like she was a textbook schizophrenic :x past traumas will do weird things to a person. You made it through that, you'll survive the aftermath. Just takes time. I can't wait for it to be over myself..

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    • That'sRacist

      Is your profile picture a picture of you?

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      • shade_ilmaendu

        o.o why yes it is.

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  • kit-kat-bar

    tell her off, it will make you feel better

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  • BlondeBear

    I have a feeling this isn't fake.
    This thing you call your mother, is a disgusting person. She may have had something wrong with her maybe a mental illness, in my non-professional diagnosis this seems like paranoia/ schizophrenia.
    As a parent it should be her duty to look after you, yet find the balance in giving you a place to spread your wings.
    You have had a bad experience and I wish I could do more, however I wish you all the best life has to offer and that this woman not pester you as she has done. You have a chance to explore and do something amazing with your life. No doubt your in a shell, in fact more so a cage.
    Don't be afraid in standing up for yourself.

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  • mariacachucha

    you're a strong one, i've also had a fucked up childhood and i think it honestly makes you bigger.

    yes is very fucking normal to feel that way after what you've been through

    did she come back after that month?

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    • She did come back. I can't remember a detail of it to save my life, (besides her arrival back home) but my dad told me she did really well for a short time (e.g., going out with him, getting a job, outgoing). They prescribed her 11 or 12 medications and would slowly take away one at a time to see how she'd react, but then something happened with it and they took her off a bunch of them and I'm guessing she decided to stop taking the rest.

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  • ygrowup

    I feel very sorry for you, but your life can only get better, when you make the steps you need to make to be happy on your own! Good luck with your choices

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