Is it normal when i freak out because someone touches me?

46% Normal
33 Comments

I have a couple of bad memories from when I was five and seven, and maybe I was never touched enough (you know, hugs and kisses and the like) as a kid, but I freak out when people touch me for any length of time. I think I'm getting better at dealing with it, but I mean I seriously panic. I feel like I'm about to cry when people purposely try to hug me just to induce that panic. I'll walk away and they'll apologize before it all happens again.

It doesn't matter if it's a handshake, a friendly hug, accidentally brushing against someone, or standing too close to me. I try to say nothing, if I can I'll back away, but there are moments when my reflex takes over and I just can't help making it obvious that I need to get away.

I don't hug people of my own volition, not even my own brother, no kisses, no hand shakes. High fives are alright sometimes 'cause it's only that one moment of contact.

I freak out when people touch me, and I don't know if that's normal. I think I'm a little bit of a hypocrite or something though, because as much as I hate it, sometimes I just really want someone to come over and hug me. Sometimes I just want someone to wrap me in their arms, to hold me, and never let go. Then someone random will try to and I'll jump away, or duck out of it, or swat at their arms or wave them away. Sometimes I'll just get as small as I can, lean as far away from them as I can, bite down that high pitched scream or squeal or whatever it is that I just want to let loose when someone tries to touch me.

A boy I liked once tried to tickle me, all in good nature, but I panicked and almost cried, and ran away from him. I felt so embarrassed and tried to apologize, but them he apologized for it and said he never would again.

I don't know what it is, why it is, if it's something about me personally or if it's just those two bad memories, but I can't stand it, and I don't know why. I'm pretty sure it's not normal, I just want some advice. An explanation would be nice too.

Thanks for reading through this, please help me out.

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46% Normal
Based on 127 votes (59 yes)
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Comments ( 33 )
  • disthing
    10 years ago

    Haphephobia perhaps?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haphephobia

    It certainly sounds like you have some irrational anxiety attached to being touched. Sometimes these phobias don't have a clear or single origin, which can make it more confusing.

    However, behavioural therapy and counselling could help you overcome this negative reaction.

    You could also help yourself to some extent, by setting yourself tasks aimed to confront your fear and gradually dismantle it. An example of such a task would be to initiate a hug with a friend or family. If you are initiating it, you are in control. The more often you have some physical contact with people, the less threatening it becomes. That fear is eroded down to a rational level.

    If you have some understanding friends or family members you could talk to about this, you may be able to recruit them to assist you.

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    • Miss.Statement
      10 years ago

      You know, some of that actually makes sense. That's weird. I've never really thought that I was one to have some sort of irrational fear, but it makes a lot of sense.

      Thank you for the help. I'm definitely going to take this into consideration. I'm one of those people who think it's better to face their problems then run away from them. I'm going to try to go out of my way to interact with people whom I normally stand five feet away from.

      Seriously, thank you for the help. Really. Thank you.

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      • FJK_frm_AK25
        8 years ago

        If u find a boy who makes u comfortable n start with him or a girl friend and family then work ur way outward toward the next most comfortable person.idk if that makes sense I feel like I typed it all goofy sounding but hope u get thru it cuz it wud suck to miss out on special intimate moments with whomever that requires being touched.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I cant recall what it was called but thats some type of mental disorder.

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    • semenandgarspunkel
      10 years ago

      autism

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      • Miss.Statement
        10 years ago

        Um... nope. Pretty sure Autism is something completely different.

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        • Mister_Nobody
          10 years ago

          This could be a symptom of autism, but it wouldn't be sufficient alone for someone to get diagnosed.

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  • Riddler
    10 years ago

    If you had traumatic expireinces as a child and its having a negative effect now you might be suffering from PTSD.

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  • (s)aint
    10 years ago

    It could be aspergers syndrome. Google it and see if it applies to you!

    In all the honestly I think that people assume that others want to be touched way too fucking much. I DON'T want to shake people's hands and I certainly don't want a hug from that relative that I only see once in a year.

    If I like you, then fine we can hug for an entire day and I'd just be in heaven.

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    • Miss.Statement
      10 years ago

      Yeah, I see what you mean- but isn't aspergers like a social mental disorder? Like you have problems talking to people or going out and doing things?

      I don't really have a problem with that. Just touching people, and I'm beginning to slowly get better with it.

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      • (s)aint
        10 years ago

        It's a neuropsychiatric disorder , you have some issues with the interactions with other people. But if it's just the hugging ... meh that's probably not the issue.

        If you are getting better at it, even better!

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        • Miss.Statement
          10 years ago

          Well, no, it's not just with hugging. This girl in may class grabbed my arm in the hall today to drag me aside so we could talk. I immediately twisted out of the embrace and started rubbing at the skin, because I could just feel her touch sticking there on the skin, sinking in, like a parasite, and after a few minutes of rubbing at it, it doesn't go away. It's been a couple of hours since then, and I can still feel the imprint of her hand on my arm where she grabbed me. Her touch hasn't gone away. I can feel it there.

          That's kinda what I meant when I said I don't like it when people touch me, because of that feeling.

          But really, I've been trying to not twist my arm away as much anymore.

          I don't really know what neuropsychiatric means, so I'm going to guess it has something to do with the brain and/or nervous system... But, while I guess that does make sense, I guess what I don't like about being touched is when I'm blindsided. Like I never saw it coming or didn't chose to be the recipient or something.

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          • (s)aint
            10 years ago

            neuropsychiatric is basically what ADHD, ADD and aspergers is so yeah it's about the nervous system.

            I'm not sure, but I THINK that these sort of problems comes from not being touched enough as a child as you say yourself. In your position I'd try to get used to it while telling people that you already talk to that you really don't like to get touched without your clear permission.

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            • Miss.Statement
              10 years ago

              Okay. Regardless of the hard facts, what you're saying makes sense, and I'm going to give it a shot.

              Thanks a million for everything~

              Hopefully I'll get over this.

              Thanks again.

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      • disthing
        10 years ago

        You'd probably know if it's Asperger's by 18, since it would have affected you in a lot of other ways beyond just physical intimacy issues.

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  • Shackleford96
    10 years ago

    I can relate to that. I am generally uncomfortable with touch. Sometimes it can be awkward. You just have to find somebody that you can be comfortable being around, then you can slowly start to rid yourself of that uneasiness that you feel. You'll find somebody to break you barriers I'm sure, don't worry.

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    • Miss.Statement
      10 years ago

      Thanks~

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      • Shackleford96
        10 years ago

        You're welcome :)

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    PTSD? Honestly, it sounds like you're an adult child who was abused and neglected.

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    • Shackleford96
      10 years ago

      OP sounds like they are still a child.

      No offense, OP.

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      • Miss.Statement
        10 years ago

        Well... not gonna lie, it kinda burns, and I feel like I should reassure you that I am eighteen, but it's ok. I get what you're trying to say. It's not as dramatic as I've made it sound before, I don't freak out about this all the time, and I really am getting better. I was just wondering why I am the way I am or if there's a name or something for it.

        Seriously not sure about the PTSD thing or the whole "adult child" thing. Really there were only two memories that I can think of that could've influenced this. I figure it's kinda like some how some people don't like heights or get stage fright.

        I mean, other than not liking to be touched I'm fine. I'm normal. I just don't like it when people get close.

        In any case, thanks for posting I guess.

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        • Shackleford96
          10 years ago

          My presumptions were wrong. The fact that you didn't get all bent out of shape even further proves that fact.

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          • Miss.Statement
            10 years ago

            Well gee~ Now I feel honored~ ^^
            Thanks.

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            • Shackleford96
              10 years ago

              I am glad if you felt honored.

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        • RoseIsabella
          10 years ago

          *wonders what the two memories are*

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          • Miss.Statement
            10 years ago

            Do you really want to know? It's kind of a long story, and I've never really talked about it to anyone before. It's not a big deal, but I suppose it's bad. I dunno. It's up to you.

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    • allebasIesoR
      10 years ago

      DSTP?

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