Is it weird to be terrified to go home?

47% Normal
9 Comments

I've been living alone during university for 2.5 Years and apparently have depression according to my therapist, although I'd disagree. No idea if this is relevant, but background information.

I am terrified at the thought of going to my parents place. Last time I've been for a visit i constantly had suicidal thoughts an wanted to leave, cry and throw up into the toilet at times. I love my parents and have good relations with them, but the thought of even visiting them for a weekend terrifies me. Does anyone have similar experiences? I have problems telling my parents that I kinda never wanna go home again as i fear it may break their hearts. When they visit me it's fine. My sister's place who lives in the same town isn't much better either btw.

Voting Results
47% Normal
Based on 15 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • WeirdManFromTheSouth
    4 years ago

    Thats how my anxiety started. As a kid I started only getting anxiety when I got home and was about to open the door. For some reason I was nervous I was gonna get in trouble or they were gonna confront me about something. But then again my dad would beat the shit out of me on a daily basis.

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  • Doesnormalmatter
    4 years ago

    Very relatable to me mate.

    I have never had any sort of counseling or therapy, but I am nearing the end of my second year at college and am terrified to be back home for the summer. My parents raised me christian and really fucked me up because of that. They were super strict right up until I left and so I splurged on all the things they would hate me for doing once I left. Even though they still think im Christian, it makes me uneasy to be around them. Or when they ask if I have found a "nice christian girlfriend" I have to lie it off and say no when in the back of my mind I think of the dozen or so girls I've slept with already and get nervous. I don't know the details of why you dont want to be with them, but I feel your pain. They have otheriwse had a good relationship with me so I dont want to back stab them, but knowing they woukd hate me if they knew what I did is nerve wracking.

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  • RoseIsabella
    4 years ago

    That's pretty extreme. What kind of childhood did you have?

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  • [Old Memory]
    4 years ago

    You disagree with the therapist, obviously something was wrong because why you are seeing one in the first place. Sounds like you have anxiety being back in these homes. Probs normal especially if you really don't want to be how you were back when you lived there.

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    • RoseIsabella
      4 years ago

      I feel like there's some childhood trauma that OP may have blocked out until recently, and is now getting some faint memories coming back perhaps?

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      • [Old Memory]
        4 years ago

        Yea I think its something like that. Might not be so sinister though.

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        • RoseIsabella
          4 years ago

          True that. It might just be something like mindnumbingly annoying codependency in the family of origin?

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          • [Old Memory]
            4 years ago

            Yep.

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            • RoseIsabella
              4 years ago

              I'm glad you concur. I wish OP would address us.

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