Is my dad normal?

14 Comments

He expects people to do things for him. When they don't, he says things like "oh I get it, you won't help me" and then acts angry and sour for the rest of the day.

He doesn't seem to understand people have lives or want to be left alone sometimes. He gets upset when people want to be left alone.

He hasn't had a job in 20 years.

He complains that food is expensive and blames the politicians. He also doesn't vote.

He doesn't have a pension or 401k and doesn't seem to understand how important it is to have one.

He insists on living in an area that he can no longer afford because he's lived there all his life. He seems to be clinging to the notion that my brother will either come back or invite dad to live with him. He was very very clingy toward my brother and that was part of the reason my brother left.

I love my dad, but I really don't want to turn out like him so I'm doing my best not to. Is he normal?

Yes 4
No 21
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Comments ( 14 )
  • Yaidin
    2 years ago

    He's toxic af

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  • Sunshinegirl
    2 years ago

    I only read the first two items and I already conclude he is worthless.

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  • 1WeirdGuy
    2 years ago

    Its his mindset. He has the victim complex outlook. He thinks like a loser. No ambition. If he was gonna change he would have already

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  • MonsteraDeliciosa
    2 years ago

    What a dadbeat!

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  • MrToxic
    2 years ago

    Your father's a chronic complainer. He sees a problem without acknowledging the bigger picture (like others having a life to live). If you were to move out/away there's a high chance you'd receive guilt tripping as your siblings likely does/has. It may not be all the time, but often.

    Unfortunately it's not uncommon for adults to be set in their ways like he is. Your father seems extremely self-destructive in his behaviour if both financial struggles (like keeping the house he can't afford) and your brother moving to escape him hasn't given him the wakeup call he desperately needs.

    If you wanna help him i would recommend giving him a tough ultimatum. Go to counselling and get back to working even part time, or receive no financial aid or contact. Given what details you have, you only really have a chance of helping him stop behaving so harmfully if you go the tough route on him. Hope you manage to work things out. The last thing you need is having him move in with you because you sibling wouldn't. It'd put a significant financial burden on you.

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  • Somenormie
    2 years ago

    No he isn't

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  • normal-rebellious
    2 years ago

    Yes your dad's normal, lots of people don't understand money, he probably has a pension otherwise he won't be complaining that food is expensive. You need your dad, what are you going to do without him?

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    • BubaBoo
      1 year ago

      The fuck is this?

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      • normal-rebellious
        1 year ago

        What the hell? I see a hint of annoyance on your part.

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        • BubaBoo
          1 year ago

          I just got a little upset 'cause your comment wasn't helpful. Like, the person who posted this does not need someone telling them they are dependent on their father.

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          • normal-rebellious
            1 year ago

            My comment was helpful, of course it was, what society says isn't helping is helping. Society has a wrong definition of everything, and furthermore my comment is useful. There's no need to get upset you uptight "normal" average man against the attempters of the normal! It's people like you who seek to destroy people like me. And another thing has it ever occurred to you that you should get along completely like you would with everybody else? Think about it. You need to accept it.

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  • GaelicPotato
    2 years ago

    What a self entitled loser.

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  • bbrown95
    2 years ago

    Unfortunately, it sounds like he has a bit of a victimhood mentality and doesn't have any desire to actually do anything to change his situation. Sadly, there is no shortage of people like this.

    The "I get it, you won't help me" sounds a bit manipulative as well. With many things in life, other people cannot do them for you, you have to do them yourself.

    I'm glad you can see how his behavior and mentality are not working for him, and that you don't want to be the same. I grew up with someone from a very similar family who unfortunately seems to think it's normal, has no concept of personal responsibility (or any type of responsibility for that matter), and is going down exactly the same path. The family loves to blame everything on bad luck, though in their case, they created their own luck. I'm glad you can break the mold and do better for yourself.

    Regardless of whether you're religious or not, I find the "Serenity Prayer" to be great words to live by:

    "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    courage to change the things I can,
    and wisdom to know the difference."

    In other words, if there are things you don't like about your life, recognize whether or not you can do anything to change them, and if you can, make a plan to. It took me entirely too long to realize the level of control I really had over my own life, and adopting this mindset has been one of the best things I've ever done.

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  • Ihidabody
    2 years ago

    That's strange....

    Sounds like a loser.

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