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I just don't feel any more of satisfactions from masturbation alone and it just doesn't feel like anything except getting my blanket and bed sheet wet and after ejaculation I immediately snap to 'not entertained' 'depressed' mindset.
Very normal. You’ve outgrown jerking off and need a real sexual partner, of whichever gender you prefer. It’s time to break out of your shell and seek a meaningful relationship.
Whichever gender one prefers is a very liberal and freeform way of thinking and I like your idea even though i'm straight and I feel emotional attraction to women and as well, the last priority sexual, since the emotional and romantic one are the first priority, but in the end of it all, the combination of all, including sexual is what the combo is great for and the most desirable and rewarding.
You’re totally overthinking this which I suspect is why you’re having trouble finding a date. Relax, be yourself, and learn to relate to people to whom you’re attracted.
I probably just need to do instead of actually talk about dating, but it's harder than talking but either way around, I have to try, procrastination avoidance these days is hard, some new things can feel anxious as i'm not automatically due to fears of ramifications or repercussions though there's not much logical about fearing dating a woman of appropriate age, as it is a person and human being like the rest of people, including myself, and you.
So you mean to actually simplify and encapsulate things into smaller, lighter weight things to orient around, than deal with hundreds and thousands of thoughts at the sametime, instead of actions.
Not to give masturbation advice, but if you've been doing it a lot lately, you're sleepy or otherwise lacking in energy, or you're doing it purely because you're bored or frustrated (in a non-sexual way), it's just not going to be very good. You feel good, your buddy feels good.
Figure out what's going on in your life and in your mind before you start blaming your penis for things, basically.
I'm unable to explain what i really feel and what i need, sort of when alexithymia hits me cerebrally pretty hard and i'm unable to sort out what are my desires. I just feel anhedonia for majority of times during the day and even music doesn't give the feelings, it's like, it would of have been better if i just put a revolver bullet to the temple of my head.
Leave it alone for a while. Get outside, some fresh air, exercise and sunlight. Find a new interest or interests away from your home and meet some new people. You'll soon perk up.
This is just a Mojo thing. Once masturbation becomes routine and unimaginative, well, hell, where’s the arousal in that?
This is best offset by someone who comes into your life that sets you on fire with sexual desire. Once you get that lust back, oh boy lookout that thing is like a lightning rod, man