Is this a normal commute routine?

34% Normal
11 Comments

I have previously made a post about my morning routine. In the comments there was a request for my commute routine. So as promised I will describe my routine. If you haven't read my last post here's the link below

http://isitnormal.com/story/is-this-a-normal-morning-routine-173948/

-Unlock car door and get inside
-Start car and let it warm up for a bit (Depending on the temperature)
-Back out of driveway (or drive out depending on how I've parked)
-Worry about the cat for a few seconds "Maybe I should turn around... Nah I'm at the point of no return."
-Pass a few joggers in the neighborhood and wonder what it would be like to swerve onto the sidewalk and hit one or both of them.
-Decide that's a bad idea.
-Keep driving
-Listen to some shoegaze on the radio because it helps make my mornings so pleasant.
-Passes the overly friendly neighbor that HAS to wave EVERY time she sees me. "Stop waving every time you see me you stupid whore."
-Exit the neighborhood
-Approaches stoplight.
-Neighborhood idiot redneck and his big raggedy ass truck pulls up behind me (I drive a Mazda MX-5 and I'm so small compared to him.)
-Light turns green
-Redneck lays on the horn as SOON as the light turns green!
-Cringe "I hope this fat son of a bitch dies."
-Gradually accelerates
-Drives 5 over the speed limit
-Passes officer on the side of the road
-Redneck tailgating me
-Road turns into a two lane toad
-Redneck passes me doing about 20 over and cuts me the fuck off. "FUCKFACE!"
-The drive is calm after that thanks to the sound of Kurt Heasley's voice on the radio.
-Herd of cows run across the road and someone hits one "Dumbass."
-I almost hit one but manage to swerve to avoid it.
-That was close
-Trembles like a wet cat for the next five minutes.
-Farts
-Almost dies because of how bad it smells.
-Roll down the windows
-Drives for another ten minutes until I get to work.
-Tries to park in usual spot but some bitch stole it.
-Parks in alternative spot and contemplates whether or not to call the tow truck to have that person's car towed. "No... not today..."
-Shuts off car.
-"I hope the cat doesn't starve while I'm gone."

Is my commute normal? What do I need to change?

Voting Results
34% Normal
Based on 41 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • regisphilbin
    9 years ago

    i wish i had your life

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I guess the only question I have is, is the bitch who took your parking spot hot? If so...does she put out?

    More importantly...would she to keep her car from getting towed?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I don't know who the person is

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  • megadriver
    10 years ago

    Sounds normal again, except with animal death and a redneck tailgater. Why don't you threaten the bastard! Those pricks need to learn that driving a big V8 pickup doesn't make them any more of a man than me!

    Anyway, here is my commute
    When with car

    Look at car before getting in and exclaim "Beauty"
    Unlock car, stick key in and start the car without sitting in car
    Take car cover off (A cat lurks in the garage and I don't want cat scratches), while the car is warming up.
    Get in car, move a tiny bit forward, before backing up
    Hold the car in "D" for a minute, so the transmission gets the oil running and warming up.
    Drive while wishing it was a weekend
    At the stoplight I curse the bus next to me (Busdrivers in my town are shit drivers)
    Light turns green, accelerate calmly (car warming up)
    Switch through all radio stations. Nothing good on. Push "CD" button and listen to classic rock
    Continue to drive, nothing special for the next 5km
    2km to work. I say to myself "Wonder if I will get off early?"
    Next set of lights, I look at the passenger seat and at the carpet. Girlfriend left dust and a strand of hair on the seat. Pick up hair strand and throw it out the window.
    Notice a co-worker next to me at the lights. He/ she waves, I wave back.
    Light turns green, I accelerate slightly faster than co-worker
    Reach work, park at my usual spot
    Take key out, lock the car
    Greet the same co-worker, wait for him/ her to park
    Walk with co-worker to the office, small chat.

    When on foot

    Walk out apartment, put my headphones on
    My destination is less than 1km away (Girlfriend's place is near the university)
    Walk to university, while shuffling through the songs
    Reach university and then I find the song I want to listen
    Too late, already there. Remove headphones and greet friends
    One or more friends goes to the coffee machine with me.
    Grab a coffee from the coffee machine, taste it, exclaim "This is garbage", one friend laughs. Continue to drink it, while going to lecture and talking with friends

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  • disthing
    10 years ago

    :|

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  • Freedom_
    10 years ago

    Less roadside cow slaughter! Otherwise it seems fun.

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  • Shackleford96
    10 years ago

    I enjoyed reading this :)

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  • handsignals
    10 years ago

    Does this series of posts end with you eating some chicken strips, chopping your balls off, turning into a jet and crashing into the sun?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      no

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    • megadriver
      10 years ago

      Hahahahha! Good one.
      LIKE A BOSS!

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    That sounds normal.

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