Is this all a normal thought process?

78% Normal
5 Comments

So I’m 21 and I’d really like to just live on my own. I have nothing against my family but I’m just tired of having to do things for them and would like to just focus on myself. I’ve talked about this a bit before, and one commenter made a good point, saying that people were telling me to grow up, but they pointed out that wanting to live on your own IS growing up.

But that’s a whole other issue. You see, for about the last 11 years I’ve felt conflicted about if I really wanted to grow up. I remember being 10 years old and being so insulted by being called a little kid, because I didn’t truly feel like one, and I hated how people assumed I couldn’t do things just because I was young.

I’ve talked about this before on here, but at that age I thought I had it made. I wanted to own a house and drive a car at that age, and assumed it was some sort of prejudice against kids that made me not allowed to, and I compared it to things like racism. I was too scared to talk about it though, and maybe deep down I knew I wasn’t really ready. And I think that’s the main conflict: I see the benefits of living on my own, but I realize that it comes with it’s own set of challenges, and I don’t know if I’m ready to deal with them.

But I made it so ingrained into my head that age limits are a form of prejudice that even today, long after I’m above many of them, it’s still hard for me to reconcile them. Plus I’ve talked about my fear of driving extensively on here, and just when I was ready to get through it stupid covid happened, and now I’m back stuck with my thoughts, when I felt like I finally rationalized my way through the years worth of ocd (luckily I saved a text I sent to my mom about it so I can look at it when I need to be reminded of how irrational I’m being).

I guess the overall issue is that I want to be more independent, but I doubt my capabilities, and my past makes it more difficult because it feels like I’m compromising my morals. I should also mention that I took one semester of college and before the pandemic it was still difficult, but afterwards some classes got worse while others got easier, and I’m not sure if I should go back. My dream is to be a writer and I’d love to live somewhere free of distraction where I can focus on my writing and nothing else.

Does this all make sense to you? What advice do you have? Thanks in advance.

Voting Results
78% Normal
Based on 9 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • have_a_good_day
    3 years ago

    I only read yo first two paragraphs coz ain't no nigga got time fo an autobiography, damn.

    If you was in da hood right now we'd tell you that you might think it means you a grown-up if you move out to live by yoself and have yo own money... but da fact is you just in yo greedy-ass-nigga phase. You'll only be truly an adult when you learn that it's now yo duty to care for yo parents and help them out.
    That's what's up

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    • Hubbard
      3 years ago

      Did you get that from gizoogle?

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  • Elegant-love
    3 years ago

    Do you have a job? If you don't and have no set plan. Then I think its still beneficial to be living with family. Maybe try getting a job and talking to your parent(s) about a payment plan for "rent" (if they are trustworthy) and ask if they can save x amount. Maybe 90% of what you give them for a first time rent. Or maybe start with a car. Let's say your making 1000 a month (500 a paycheck if you get paid every other week) And you decide you want a car first. You and your parents decide on a rent amount of 600. Because in the real world if you don't have a good paying job most of your money will go towards rent. And say they hold onto 90% to save for you. And they can keep the 10% as payment for holding it or something. So 90% of 600 is 540. So you'd give them 300 a paycheck. And they put away 270 a paycheck. Then when you get to your goal of car price you can get the car. You'd also have 400 a month to decide what you want. But if your wanting to be fiesable maybe pay your own phone. And some food. This way you can learn budgeting. And when you have a better idea on how to budget and have a good experience with it. It will give you some maturity to be able to decide better on what to do. Because you will have a idea on how much money you'd be making without college. Do 1 informational day a week to sit down with them and look at the price of apts vs renting a house talk about the cost of living. Or use that time to go over career paths or options of college courses. Maybe look into a community College or regular college that will let you start with 1 or 2 classes a week.

    I know how impatient it can be waiting to become a adult. But its not all that it's cracked out to be. Use your parents safety net while you can! Both my parents passed away at a young age. Dad (8) mom (13) so even though you get annoyed or frustrated by having to do things for them. They have been able to be there and provide parents for you up until you were an adult. And thats something to be very grateful about. One day you will be able to see all that they have done for you. And it will make you want to do back for them. But it comes with maturity.

    The last thing I will add.
    You said you want to become a writer. YouTube has wonderful videos that people do on pretty much any subject. You can also type in "data entry career" or "writing careers" "management and business careers" pretty much any career you can think of and see what others have experienced. Or you can look up "bettering my writing structure" I'm not sure if you want to be a fantasy writer for books or if you want to be a news article writer. But if its the fantasy you can search "learn how to write fantasy" you will be amazed on all the things you can find on YouTube. Even "tips on becoming a adult" "am I ready for adulthood"

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  • FromTheSouthWeirdMan
    3 years ago

    It sucks living with parents. It is good for u to get out young.

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  • Mammal-lover
    3 years ago

    Looks like a ramble not a thought process

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