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You met him when he was 22 you were 30. Then you dated him when he was 23 you were 31. Broke up because he was too immature but stayed friends.
Then later when he was 27 you were 35 you started dating again. Now you're engaged he's 28 you're 36.
Is it grooming because you met him when you were 30 and he was 22?
| Yes | 1 | |
| No | 24 |
I don't think you know what grooming is. Grooming in the negitive sense is deliberate munipulation to desensitize you to things you are not okay with. It starts as boundary breaking and than pushes further but since it slowly progresses you don't notice right away. Than you get gas light into thinking it's normal and being okay with it cuase they in a way trained you.
I'm guessing some idiot in your life said you groomed him? You did nothing wrong. At 22 he was an adult who's able to think for himself.
This wouldn't fit the definition of grooming even if the ages were lower.
Agreed, grooming is a specific mode of manipulation towards a end. Mostly sexual.
Though I suppose it's better to redefine it rather than age it's a state of mind. Children dont have a sense for sexual ideas. Neither do those who are severely mentally ill. Grooming in that context would also fit.
So unless the OP was severely handicapped it's not grooming.
This way around it's fine but if a guy was going out with a girl who was 8 years younger than him then that's a yikes and big red flag.