Isn't it normal to go thru all that trouble to get things done, going out?

Children aside, I've been an adult since 18 years, or in my case 16 years (which I considered to be an adult), but once I hit 18, that was it, I had rights that no 16 year old had, to even have strippers if I wanted to, but for some reason my mother never takes photos of me with a topless woman, and never lets me do the dodgy things cousin Lisa does because I'm "not married", adulthood is adulthood, without regard to marital status, all adults have the same rights. I went thru this trouble shopping for quality items, like a hi-tech toothbrush, but I would've believed anything without scepticism, it was easy to make me follow any religion and I would've believed in it for life. It could've happened and I could've been the highly offensive man who did exactly what he wanted if I haven't learned to stay out of trouble. I was a young fool, I admit that, just going thru my first taste as an adult, still learning. But my experience taught me to get wiser, and not be silly enough to believe the first religious book I see. So even now I'm struggling thru life, going thru all that trouble not only to be an adult but to be a man, going out with tact, being careful what I do to children, saying the right thing to strangers, not talking to them, not going out to the pub at night in a taxi, experimenting with fashion, for in my salad days I was very fashionable, not just in clothes, but every guarantee of quality was itself fashion (I was obsessed with fashion), I even listened to that pop music sung by women, which was such good music. When I settled down and stopped being outrageously quirky, that was the day I went thru all that trouble to go shopping for what I believed in without the bullshit of getting everything in stores, but shopping online, which in my opinion is for people with no grip on reality. People thought I was gay, but who cares? They thought I was a queer, both queer in being odd and unconventional, and queer in that I was gay and effeminate, I don't remember acting like a woman, I took my mother's advice and believed in God, and everyone thought I was so sentimentally religious, this was my first salad days of sainthood when you can't do what you want if religion censors you. I understood that. My truth was totally wonderful, it was magical (I was living in a world of elves, fairies and hobgoblins, in other words fantasy). When reality hit me it turned out awful, and that reality hurts, and it's not all pretty pictures, but in my ideal perfect state I'm still to a lesser extent shopping for quality, buying drinks for my diet, I tried every standard vegetarian fad diet in the book and didn't get the results I wanted, things for nuts like me were actually hip, they were popular. Does this not sound like fashion to you? What kind of person was I? A fashionable person, and even now I'm going thru a similar trouble, I'm going thru this trouble, this difficulty, this effort, to settle down in my home with all my purchases, with my books, and with my clothes, to live an ideal life and to change reality, which turns out, only a shared reality is the rule, your reality doesn't only belong to you, it's everyone's to share, as my experience and reflection tells me, it's all about shopping and commercialism, is that normal?