It annoys me a lot sometimes

My older brother sometimes annoys the shit out of me. Which i guess it's normal after all, bc we are sibilings, so that's not an unusual thing. But it absolutly annoys tf our of me when he acts like he knows everything better than everyone else does.
I know he has lived longer, and might have a little bit more of knowledge than me in some aspects but there are two major topics in which, him acting smart annoys me a lot.
This toppics are:
-Mental health/selfharm/suicide
-Lgbtq+ issues
It annoys me bc he talks about it as if he knows everything about it and knows "what is right and what is wrong". For example, he absolutely despises self harm, which, is valid honestly. He says it's wrong and all that stuff, which is actually correct, self harming is not nice, is not a good thing to do for yourself. It's the way he treats it and the people who do it. He is just firm in "is bad and everyone who does that must stop immediately" which, in an ideal world, would be what we all want. But he sees all black and white and does not see the grey areas. People who do that stuff don't do it for fun, and demonising them and their actions it's only going to isolate them even more and made them feel more lonely and stuff. We have to be sensitive and understand them, what are they doing and why are they doing it. But he can't just understand it.
I have been depressed for years, i have considered suicide, most of my friends have at some point of their lifes considered too, i seld harmed in the past... I know what it's like, first hand. But he still acts like he know more than i do and that his opinions are better than mine.

Same thing with lgbtq+ issues.
I'm queer, to put it short, always have been, always have known, whatever.
He knows that, but he always has something to say about the way i choose to show it.
I don't come out, i don't think i HAVE to. I should be able to just be myself and give no explanations.
However i am very careful with my granny bc she is old and even tho she is not that closed minded i just don't want her to worry about me at all in any sense. I know that knowing that i am queer would make her worry. But my brother tells me "fuck it" and he says my grandma should just suck it up and get used to it bc it's 2021. Which, again, understandable, and if he was queer himself and made that decision for himself then i wouldn't question it. But he is not. He is a cis gender heterosexual male. He is not gonna give my grandma that "disappointment". He is not going to be the one carrying the judgment of his grandma on his shoulders. It's gonna be me. And i am still valid, even if no one knows that i am queer. So i choose not to "come out". Not to my grandmother neither my parents. And he is like "tell them".
No, stfu, i don't want to????

It's just that.
Do you think i have the right to get annoyed over this or i am acting like a smartass? I just think that i might have more to say in this subjects (specially when talking about MY experience) rather than him.

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Comments ( 6 )
  • girlinadarkcorner

    I think you're totally justified in how you feel. That situation sounds very frustrating and I can empathize with both of your points on a personal level. It absolutely isn't someone elses choice as to wether or to whom you should or shouldn't come out to. You have the right to share or not share parts of your life with who you feel comfortable with, and he needs to respect your choice.

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  • Tommythecaty

    He’s got a point, you’ve got a point, points for everyone!

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  • 1WeirdGuy

    Seeing everything in black and white is something a lot of young people do. You really do sound wise beyond your years by everything you wrote. I also respect that you are queer but you dont want to make it everyones business.

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    • It's not like i am hiding being queer i just won't come out bc i feel like i don't need to make and explanation to anyone. That's who i am. No need to explain myself the same way straight people don't need to explain themselves.

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  • MonteMetcalfe

    Your brother sounds like an asshole.

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    • He is not a bad guy, he wants to help me bc i am in misery most of the time JAJAJAJA.
      But sometimes he can't accept the fact that not everything is going to be happy and pretty.

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