It is ok to hate my boyfriend's 19 year old?

14 Comments

Hi, I'm 25 years old and I've been living with my boyfriend for a year but we have 2 years together, my boyfriend is 45 and has a19-year-old son who lives with us but he is bad-mannered, he doesn't want to go to school or drive or work or anything all day he just sits and play video games He doesn't cook too so he will order food every single day and leave the dirty dishes on the sink , my boyfriend makes a lot of money so he can afford giving him whatever he wants and he yells at my boyfriend if he refuse to buy him anything, my boyfriend is easily spending 2000 a month for this child paying his therapist because he insist he has anxiety he orders food every day 3 times a day and most of the time orders stuff from amazon, my boyfriend has a very busy job so he buys him everything instead of giving him time and when they talk he just say bad things about me to him that he should leave me and if we had a child he will commit suicide, his mom doesn't want him or her house because he tried to hit her, he is always saying stuff about me in front of everyone and if I try to complain my boyfriend gets mad at me , he tries to defend me but when I tell him he is doing wrong on buying him everything without him working he gets mad. I think he doesn't let my boyfriend propose to me because once my boyfriend took me to see rings but the son started to complain and I don't know what to do I'm starting to hate him is uncomfortable being with him my boyfriend is really nice but I hate his son

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Comments ( 14 )
  • Nickvey
    5 years ago | pl

    im 100 percent sure he can replace you in his life if needed, But his son out ranks you a million to one. Your super vagina powers have no effect on this man. Its the number one reason you are bitching on the internet , its because you lost already . and as soon as the man finds out you hate his son he will replace you with a better option . That would be a girlfriend that likes his son. I have a son too.

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    • RoseIsabella
      5 years ago

      Pretty much.

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    • redrainbow22
      5 years ago

      The son sounds like a spoiled brat.

      Why would people want to defend a spoiled kid?

      I would whip that boy into shape so much, he would be saluting me every time I step into the door.

      If I was the father anyway. The spoiledness needs to stop though. OP is right.

      The son needs to step out into the real world, face his fears, get a job or his own money, and stop leeching, which I could see going on for a long time.

      How long will the adult 19 year old continue to suck money from his father until he dies?

      Not my kids. My kids will learn about life. End of story.

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  • Boojum
    5 years ago

    Nickvey's comment is typically blunt and crude, but I think his fundamental point is correct: on your boyfriend's list of important people in his life, you fall way below his son.

    That's harsh and uncomfortable, but all the evidence you cite says it's true.

    So, you have a choice:

    1) Accept that the son is an asshole and always will be an asshole because he has no motivation to change; accept that the relationship between son and father will always be toxic; and accept that you will never be as important to your boyfriend as his son - not even if you should be stupid enough to marry the enabling idiot and have a child by him.

    2) Call it quits, and leave the selfish, immature and obnoxious son and his complacent, short-sighted and delusional father to stew in their own poison.

    You can't make the relationship between father and son change, not least because it sounds like neither of them respects you, and the father is in denial about the sort of person his son is. Your boyfriend has a live-in girlfriend twenty years younger than him and, in his mind, he's caring for his son, so why should he want to change anything? The son is getting whatever the hell he wants, so why should he want to change anything?

    Oh, and if the son continues with his habit of eating junk food he orders in three times a day and spends all his time playing video games, you can be sure that he's going to end up incapable of leaving the house in a few years. So if things continue as they are, you'll end up being the asshole's personal carer. How do you like the idea of wiping his ass for him because he's too fat to reach it?

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  • SirrahOfGray
    5 years ago

    You need to find a new boyfriend.

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  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    I hope you don't honestly expect this guy to pick you over his child, his own flesh and blood! Asshole or not the kid is still his son. Your boyfriend is still this kid's father, but he's only your sugar daddy is all.

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  • BossATsleep
    5 years ago

    well you can’t be in the relationship. if that boyfriend truly loves his son and realizes what you think about his son you will probably be dumped. your kid always comes first

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  • TheOneTrueStranger
    5 years ago

    That kid needs a good arse-kicking. I would say stick him in the military, because that would reform the hell out of him, but since he’s not yours and the father isn’t helping much, your in a bit of a sore spot.

    Maybe you can bring up the idea of having him join the military to your boyfriend and his son.

    But to answer your overall question: yes, it is okay to hate him.

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    • [Old Memory]
      5 years ago

      What makes you think the military would take him? It’s no longer a dumping ground for asshole kids.

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      • TheOneTrueStranger
        5 years ago

        Hmmm... your right, I guess my idea was a little premature. However, I think a step towards that direction should help discipline him. Discipline is a very important thing to have so that one may live independantly.

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        • [Old Memory]
          5 years ago

          Your idea is a little late. He should have went to military school at 12 or 14, instead of inventing his own diseases, but most of these posts are fake anyway.

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  • Goku19
    5 years ago

    You can play with him to see if he start liking you then he may listen to you.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    5 years ago

    I already marry him and he spoils me more than him so I don’t hate him that much

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  • redrainbow22
    5 years ago

    Spoiled

    That father needs to whip him into shape

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