Jay-z and male companion, beyonce are alien sequestrial forms...iin?

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9 Comments

Part I: Jay-Z and his male companion, Beyonce are the closest species we have to aliens on this Earth. I started this theory when I took an underwater Sequestriatus biological earth forms class in San Diego. We also held a seance in the dorms for the first pre-historic being to come to us and it was a creature in the form of a Jay-Z. We all took notes, but at the moment, our claims are being denied by the American Science Foundation.

Part II: Why do I say male companion? Well, in several pictures (and hospital documents) it is obvious Beyonce has one of the largest genitalia known to man (except for a whale). She was also unable to give live birth to her young (an adopted Sequestriatus creature from Neptune)---one can see the resemblance to the Jay-Z creature.

Part III: Jay-Z has no gender, he is simply alien, thus the reason he was unable to impregnate anyone.

Part IV: They are alien because they do unreasonable things American humans wouldn't think of doing, like vacationing in Cuba (they have no concept of history) and digging holes in their pool to connect to the Earth's core to generate enough heat to last through winter for their alien scales.

Part V: They are close friends with Obama because he is able to keep their secret safe (so he believes).

This is my thesis for biology degree. What do you think? Have you heard this theory before?

Voting Results
46% Normal
Based on 48 votes (22 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Johnnytherat
    11 years ago

    i think you just hate black people.

    well i do aswell.

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    • peterrabbyt2
      11 years ago

      I know I don't like JayZ or any other rapper phony. Snoop Dog makes me puke. Just sayin' Thank you.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Beyonce is sexy.

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  • wistfulmaiden
    8 years ago

    Nah they are just rather obnoxious

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  • mpiparanormal
    10 years ago

    I am a well-seasoned paranormal investigator and I work hand in hand with a Demonologist AND a Catholic priest to better do deliverance work. Whst I'm about to say to you may sound strange and even disagreeable to you at first, but hear me out:

    The darkest entities are deceitful, cunning and often hide themselves in science (If science can explain this, then it's not paranormal, right?)

    Read up on fallen angels: they are different race than demons but are similar...

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    Hehe this is good shit right here.

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  • Avant-Garde
    11 years ago

    If this can get posted than I hope my unmoderated posts can too.

    This might make for a interesting sic-fi story but other than that there's no proof. By now, I think their "alien secrets" would have been revealed or would be revealed in the upcoming UFO Disclosure.

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  • myboyfriendsbitch
    11 years ago

    Greatest thesis EVER!

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  • bananaface
    11 years ago

    Hehe!

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